Going through a knee replacement, you find yourself unable to do much of nothing for extremely long periods of time. You hurt too much to read and there really isn't that much on television. But, after purchasing a Stargate SG-1 series that was on sale, all with the intentions of getting ready for the surgery, I became hooked on the series. I had never watched the Stargate. Ten years they had been on television and they also had started a Stargate Atlantis that sadly only lasted five years, which I also got hooked on.

So, with the help of watching the Stargates on Netflex and hunting up good deals to purchase the SG-1 series, I unashamedly became a fan. Lee came in one day and poked his head around the corner where I sat with ice on my knee, avidly watching an old SG-1 show, and asked if I had become a Goa'uld yet.

Now really, a Goa'uld? I was insulted. That's the baddie in the beginning of the Stargate series. They are people who have been taken over by the big garter snake with the bad overbite. That snake thing has burrowed into the back of the neck of a person, taking over his body and brain, causing him to have flashing eyes, a very deep voice, and act totally snobby and mean. That snake thing also gives his host's body an extremely long life and able to heal from most diseases and wounds, but the host has to sit in the background while the snake does what he wants with the host's body. Which is mainly being mean and telling primitive people that he is a god. Most of the primitives believe this because the Goa'uld have high tech weaponry.

For one thing, I could never become a Goa'uld because I don't intentionally get close enough to any snake to let it touch me. Another thing, the goats wouldn't allow it. I could see me walking out among the goats and saying, "I am your god. You will worship me!"

The goats would react by saying, "Did she say she had a grain bucket? Why else would she be speaking in such a deep loud voice and flashing her eyes to get our attention if she didn't have a grain bucket? Get her!"

By that time, if I did have a grain bucket I would have thrown it up in the air and would be making a dash for the pasture gate. Having over 80 does in the main field get you down for your bucket is no fun. They can just have that stupid bucket. And, being a snob demanding obedience does not work with goats. They can humble you seconds, by taking your grain bucket and running over you, or, if you are showing them off, by refusing to be around you and your guests. Unless of course you get a grain bucket, and you know how that goes. Not only do you get knocked down but also your guest. No, an uppity Goa'uld would not last on a goat farm.

Now there is the Tokra where a polite snake has asked to share the person's body and that person has accepted because they are going to be extremely healthy and live a long time. Plus, they have equal rights to the body. Sometimes the snake gets to talk and do what it wants and then the person get his chance to talk and do what he wants, but they both have to agree on anything they do. A Tokra couldn't survive on a goat farm either. He wouldn't see the sense of carrying a feed bucket in a big herd of goats, which is traditional to do several times or more in the beginning, because you just can't believe you got trampled for doing it earlier. Don't worry, eventually, you do learn to build a feeding pen or put the feeders on the gate to cut down on the tramplings.

The round Stargate would fit on a goat farm. I don't know how many times new people have come to our farm and get all big eyed and think they have stepped on a new planet, in fact on a new galaxy, with all the goats around, learning the scheduling of their care. That the farm, in fact, revolves around the goats.

You also have to become a language translator as the new people step from their world into your goat world. You have to explain to them alien ideas of caring for livestock. They just wanted either a few cute goats to have around that you petted but didn't have to care for, or they wanted to buy a meat goat herd and still not care for it and not even pet, and more importantly, who wouldn't interfere with their vacations or their free time. Yes, stepping through the goat Stargate is a big shock to many folks.

Laid up with my new knee, I did go through ten years worth of Stargate SG-1 and then five years of Stargate Atlantis and in spite of the uncomfortable knee, enjoyed every adventure in the Stargate series. I watched them so much that when Lee got a chance to come in from doing chores to rest, he sat down fascinated by them and watched what he could, when time would allow.

I do believe he became a fan, too. I think that if there was a Stargate convention nearby, we just might attend. There's Star Trek conventions for the trekkies, I assume there would be something like that for the …… would we be called gatties? Whatever. I told Lee we could find a costume that would bulge with muscles to make him a Jaffa, a muscular warrior who did everything the Goa'uld told them. Plus, they incubated the baby snakes in a pouch in their bellies and in appreciation the baby snakes gave them long life and good health but didn't control them.

Me, I'd dress up like a fancy looking Egyptian Goa'uld queen, commanding my muscular costumed Jaffa around. Lee just walked by and told me not to count on it. And, that he was going through the Stargate to go to town to buy goat feed.