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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NO…
ZAPPED!
WEE GOAT FARMERS



Once again we got to meet another wee goat farmer when her daddy came to buy goats. Over the years I’ve met a lot of wee goat farmers, some experienced, some just starting out, and it’s always interesting. These are the pre-teen present and future goat farmers. Their ages start at one year on up to twelve. I’ve only met two future wee goat farmers that were under six months. The first one calmly sucked on her pacifier, safe in her mother’s arms, and had no comment about the goats. The other decided to try climbing out of her mother’s arms and escape someway when the weanling goat jumped on the gate and shouted a happy hello at her.

The wee goat farmers come in a variety of temperaments when they arrive on our farm.
Some are wound so tight and excited over being on a farm and around goats, that as soon as they hit the ground from stepping out of the truck, they explode in all different directions. Which makes all of us adults scurry after them, rounding them up, and trying to keep them confined in our tight circle as we proceed to go look at the goats. The thrill of it all is more then they can handle.

Others keep control of their excitement and just sort of vibrate in place, obediently following their parents, but nevertheless the air just shimmers around them. If you are a SciFi fan, you would say they were phasing in and out of reality, vibrating from so much excitement on being on a goat farm. The goats go on alert from these two types of wee goat farmers, the wound up exploding type and phasing in and out of reality type. Like deer they keep their eyes on these future wee goat farmers, because they are never sure where the wee goat farmers are going end up near them before we catch up with them.

We’ve had the more serious minded wee goat farmer that has been around the cattle and the hogs and they arrive with their parents in miniature coverall’s, barn boots, and baseball caps , boy or girl, looking like their dad. You can tell who spends the most time with their farmer dad. The mother arrives with them with every hair in place, clothes fancy and neat, make-up on, and a cloud of perfume wafting around her. Which immediately the goats start curling their lip up and snorting in the air. They never get the benefit of perfumed air until company arrives, and they think something has gone dreadfully wrong on the farm when they smell it.

The wee coverall goat farmers calmly stands and studies the goats with the parents, helps sorts them out, though they are so short most the time the goats don’t notice them, and assists in the loading. You keep wondering who these very short adults are.

One boy who had walked way out into the pasture to look at some goats, just quietly followed his parents, not having any expression about the matter. After walking back and forth a while, the big male livestock guard dog came up to walk with him. By this time all the goats were curious about us and were following us back to the barn. This boy was surrounded by a large herd of goats and had a very large livestock guard dog beside him. He simply threw his arm across the dog’s back, which came to his shoulders, and said, “You getting tired too, boy?” I knew then he was going to make a grand wee goat farmer at the matter of fact way he accepted something totally new to him.

I still laugh about the young boy who’s only experience had been a pet cat, arrived with his parents on our farm. His parents had had goats when they were children and were wanting to get back into goat farming. I get a lot of adults like that. Adults who had originally been wee goat farmers and didn’t realize how much they would miss it. Their ten year old boy was standing in the weanling pen with them, not moving around much, just staying quiet. When suddenly, one of my ex-bottle babies came up to him, reared up, and put her feet on his shoulders, and looked straight into his eyes.

He stood there a second and then told her, “Yeah, I love you, too.” He was just as calm as all get out. Most new kids would have freaked out. He didn’t realize it, but right then he became another wee goat farmer. A lot of the little weanlings happily stood around him while his parents made their selections.

The last wee goat farmer that showed up with her dad was a small little girl, five years old. This tiny little thing walked into the weanling pen and was calm and quiet. Soon, the ex-bottle babies found her and thought she was wonderful, and then she had some momma raised weanlings come over and stand with her as she quietly petted them. She didn’t know it but she was another wee goat farmer in the making.

She was so quiet and polite, but what tested her fortitude was the weanlings’ playhouse. A couple of years ago we found that large plastic playhouse at a garage sale and bought it for ten dollars. We put it in one of the kids’ run-in sheds and they loved it. They ran in and out of the half door, leaped through the windows, but best of all, several liked to pack themselves in and look out the windows and door and just stand there and chew their cuds.

The dad was busy talking with us and I just happened to look over and there stood that little girl, looking at the goats and the playhouse with such longing, wanting to go in there and stand with them. She was smart. She sensed that some of the weanlings were okay with her if she didn’t get too close, so she stood outside the door looking in. I figure this wee goat farmer was going to have a playhouse in with her goats when she got home.

Wee goat farmers, the future of the goat business. We need to take good care of them.

THE END


 

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