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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
COUGH DROP WORMER

My goats think they have discovered a new dewormer. They call it the cough drop wormer and they just found out about it this winter. As soon as they smell it, they head for higher ground, as far from me as possible.

The goats have a pretty good sense of smell. They can smell the different wormers, delouserís, about anything you want to doctor them with. After they have been treated a couple of times, they catch on and itĎs exit, stage right, to get away from you if you appear with any of those scents.

What they donít realize is that their so called cough drop wormer appears every winter and then disappears during the summer. They just forgot about it until it appears again in the winter. Every winter, with the cold winds, snows, sleet, things that make you shiver and stops your head up, I drag out my favorite brand of cheap sugar free cherry cough drops from the Dollar General Store, and keep one in my mouth while Iím out in the cold. Iíll keep a pocket full of them and anyone shows up to help us out in the cold and I think they are sounding stopped up, I offer a cough drop. Itís surprising how the mentholated cherry cough drops can really open your sinusís up. For that matter, even in the summer if you are working in hay and feel an allergy attack coming on, they certainly help you survive.

But, goats get suspicious of the scents you carry. They think you are up to no good and try to distance themselves from you. Even my ex-bottle kids, who still adore me, always do a scent test on me. I bend down to hug them, they raise their nose up to my face, smell the cough drop, and off they walk away. Itís almost like they are saying, ďOh, no you donít. Not today. IĎm not going to be wormed by no stinking cough drop wormer.Ē

Maybe our goats are more sensitive to scents than most. We do worm and delouse several times a year, so they may be of a more suspicious nature, but one big thing, we donít wear any fragrances. Everything is unscented in our house, from detergents to deodorants, to everything. Except for that cherry cough drop and, of course, all the dewormers, delouserís, and medicines we use on them.

We have goat customers drop by that have enough fragrance on them that it makes my eyes water. From clothes washed in Spring Fresh and then dried in Winter Breeze, to highly potent perfumes and colognes and mousse and hair sprays, scented deodorant, you can almost see the perfumed fog around them. You wonder if they donít want to smell the wonderful scent of farming. And, the scent of farming is very important. I donít know how many times I have walked into a kid herd or adult herd and tell Lee, ďI smell diarrhea. Someone has diarrhea. We need to find them.Ē So, things are pretty much olí naturale around here. So when a customerís cloud of perfume hits our goats, they go bug eyed and stand there and snort like buck deer, not knowing whether to run or pass out.

The goats are use to good ordinary smells of bucks, goat manure, fresh hay, blooming smell of multi-flora rose on other farms, not ours. Because the goats dearly love multi-flora rose, that thorny thick brush doesnít get a chance to grow on our place, but they can smell the flowering rose on the neighboring farms, and a wistful wishful look always comes to their eyes. But, put any man made fragrances in front of them, and it just has to be dewormers to them.

The cough drop wormer makes them fear of a soon to be worming, and as they hurry away from me while I am out doing chores, all alone, because very few goats want to be near me to keep me company, they just donít consider the many times they have belched in my face and I never left them. Sure, I gagged a lot, but I never left.

The fragrance of rumen juices wafting strongly around your face does make you feel the irresistible desire to leave the area, but they think it is heavenly, just as when they spit cud out on your boot after you have really wormed them. After that, the other goats follow you around with their noses on your boots, because that cud smells heavenly. They donít consider that maybe you want to leave the county when they belch or spit up cud on you.

Youíd think theyíd give you a little leeway when you have a cherry cough drop in your mouth. But, sadly, no, survival instinct kicks in and they hurry and leave in case you want to worm them with that cough drop.

I donít know how many times I have showed up in the pen or pasture, hiding the wormer behind me to do one girl that might be acting suspiciously wormy, only to see the herd very hurriedly moving up the valley, nose in the air, ears back, listening that I might follow. I really need to do like those hunters and check which way the wind is blowing that might be carrying my scent. Or, maybe keep my mouth shut while I am happily sucking on my cherry flavored cough drop. Itís perplexing.

I canít give up my cough drops and live with stopped up head all winter, yet I need to catch the goats. Iíll just have to desensitize them. Iíll have a cough drop in my mouth during any graining or haying or watering, all good things. And, maybe, just maybe, theyíll forget about cough drop wormings. Iíll stand there and breath all over them because they will not leave that wonderful grain. Itís worth a try. Maybe they can also adapt to the highly scented goat customer. When pigs fly. I have more of a chance with the cough drop wormer.

THE END


 

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