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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
HOT CHOCOLATE

As the goat farmer sits inside a warm house, looking out the window, sipping on his mug of hot chocolate with tiny marsh mellows, he reflects how pleasant winter is for a goat farmer. Okay, stop the movie. Letís wake up and get in touch with reality here. Unless you are in the really southern states or Hawaii, or unless you do not breed for 4-H projects or Easter kids in the dead of winter, this pleasant winter scene might be you. But, the goat breeder who breeds in winter does not have pleasant do nothing winters. All right, Iíll let you have the hot chocolate and visit the warm house once in a while, but having a pleasant winter? Come on.

As I sit inside for an hour, trying to thaw my feet out, I am thankful what a warm day it is. It is 24 degrees Fahrenheit, the warmest itís been in a long time. Snow is on the ground and more coming down. The goats are out eating their round bales that are placed under little ďporchesĒ to protect them and their bales. A round bale is also inside one of the goat barns and a couple of bales are in the different run-in sheds. Ice has been broke out of the water buckets and tubs for them this morning and at the end of this hour, Iíll be doing some more feeding, breaking the water out again, and bottle feeding the kids down at the barn. Chores are divided up all day long so I donít have to spend more than two or three hours outside at a time. I get a chance to come back in and thaw out. Being a walking popsicle is not easy.

So, how do we come out ahead if we insist on being gluttons for punishment by kidding in the dead of winter? Well, first off realize just owning goats you will be out there feeding them and caring for them in winter anyway. So, youíve only upped the amount of time spent outside by kidding in winter by, oh, letís just say that now you are spending more time outside in the winter than in the summer, possibly more than quadrupled the amount of time you would normally spend outside any time.

Now to survive your strange notion of kidding in winter, not only do you need to survive it but the kids and does have to survive your notion too, you have to work on winter plans year round. Shop sales on winter wear, keeping in mind you need warm wool socks, artic boots, artic coats, artic shirts and pants and toboggans (head gear, not sled riding). Oh, and gloves. Good luck on that. I rarely seem to wear gloves. I find I have to take my gloves off most the time to unlatch gates, scoop out ice from buckets and tubs, help in kidding, doctoring goats, etc. Once in a great while, I actually get to wear gloves. Make sure you stock up on good hand lotions and super glue. Yes, super glue. The dermatologist clued me in on this with all the splits in my chapped skin around the nails that made touching anything painful, he said super glue those splits. It works wonderful. Heals them and they are not painful after being super glued. If you can find the super glue that has the brush, that works the best.

Donít forget your goats on this winter kidding thing. Make sure you have electric to your barn and it would be pure luxury, running water. You can get those special water hydrants found at farm stores that bring the water up to use when turned on, then the water is drawn back down below the ground to not freeze. These can be used both inside the barn and outside. Wonderful.

Heat lamps, we use the ones that are made for hogs, plastic, special guard all the way around so if it drops in the hay, the bulb can not possibly touch hay to start a fire. We use the white heat lamp bulbs, cheaper, and they have yet to hurt the eyes of kids. Prepare the barn so there are no drafts and have good wiring to be able to use the heat lamps.

It makes life a whole lot easier if you have already bought your hay up for winter and have it carefully stored so it will not mold. No chasing all over the area trying to find hay because you have run out in absolutely the worse weather. Been there, done that.

Have a general idea of your kidding times so you can also stock up on your grain and your own food. You donít want to have to leave the girls right at the verge of their kidding to go get grain or your groceries. We have found it good to take vacation during winter kidding. Everyone else is taking their vacations in the summer. Winter vacations are the thing if you are kidding goats. Donít try saving your vacation for those wonderful summer days and enduring horrible winter times of being up all night with goats kidding and then you having to go to work the next day. Anybodyís endurance gets shot down after a couple of days of that. Dreadful. Plan your kidding and your vacation together. Life is so much better.

Have not only your goatsí medicines ready but you own. If you are going to catch a cold or bronchitis, count on catching it during kidding time. So be stocked up on your Dayquil, cough drops, Listerine, whatever you use. But, donít get the stuff that knocks you out. You need to be alert to work during kidding, and just feeding the goats during winter. I would also suggest a real stockpile of tissues with lotion in them to make your nose feel better too.

You can make your winter as a goat breeder harder or easier, just plan ahead, be ready. Because whether itís for kidding or just feeding goats, itís cold out there, goat farmer, and be prepared. Oh, and stock up on that hot chocolate and marsh mellows. Itís great for when you feel sorry for yourself. You deserve that hot chocolate and tiny little marsh mellows. You are a good winter goat farmer, yes you are. Now, get out there and get back to work.

THE END


 

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