Current
Visitors
6
COVER PAGE
PREVIOUS
DISPLAY
 Related Articles
12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NO…
ZAPPED!
autumnfarmsboers.com
Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES
by
Connie Reynolds

Lee came home the other night and I announced, "You can’t believe what I did! I can’t believe what I did! It’s so stupid! I surpassed myself this time!"

Lee’s been my husband for 26 years and he took my words seriously. He stood stock still and checked the floor thoroughly before taking another step. He cautiously approached me and said almost in a whisper, "What did you do?" All the while checking out the room.

"I accidentally canceled our camera order!" I cried with a dramatic sweep of my hand and smacked myself in the forehead.

About a year ago, when people discovered we had finally bought a computer, we started getting requests for pictures over the Internet of the different goats we had for sale. Even some requests for pictures through snail mail.

We’d get calls like, "How about sending me a picture of that billy of yours over the Internet. You got some nannies for sale, I see, send me some pictures of them." I didn’t want to point out that we had bucks and does (these cost more then billies and nannies), because I understood their terminology perfectly. In our area if you say bucks and does, you are talking about deer and deer hunting. Besides, I’ve often yelled out to Lee, "Watch out for that billy, Lee, he’s got his eye on you!" Or, "My, doesn’t this nanny look sharp. That last worming did all the nannies good."

We’re not a pricey operation here. We are mainly commercial meat goat breeders, but other commercial breeders wanted some of our stock to add a little Boer in their operation. Sometimes they were 3 and 4 hours drive away and they wanted to know if they really wanted to come down. So, I started doing some checking around about these digital cameras. We have computer nut friends that have them and they were glad to show off their cameras.

"Look here, Connie. It’s a dandy. I got a real deal on this for only $800. It takes 400 pictures and it plays them back to you before you put them in your computer. You can even delete any you don’t want."

Another friend would say, "Heck, that’s nothing, Connie. Look at this one. I got it on sale for $1500 and it’ll add sound and motion to your pictures. Shoot, if I could understand all these controls, I bet it would even fix my supper!"

Usually our vehicles don’t even cost over $800 and I just couldn’t see us paying that and more for a digital camera. So, I did a tremendous amount of research, intensively studying the digital camera and trying to find one that we needed. Okay, okay, I took two hours on the Internet.

Happily, I found out that to put pictures over the Internet, all you needed was a camera with a 640 X 480 resolution and they were cheap! You could get one at Walmart for $109.00. But, if you tried to print these off in a 5 X 7 format to send out snail mail, the photo would be too coarse. I needed one that would do the 640 X 480 for the Internet, plus do a little better for running off prints. I found it in one of those Internet stores that’s all the time worried about your shopping cart. Do you think they really believe we can take one of those carts home?

At last I found a che… uh, inexpensive camera that would do what we needed and we wouldn’t have to mortgage the farm for it. Lee helped me fill out the form over the Internet and send in the order. They emailed and said that when it was processed they’d send me a notice.

I waited all that day, constantly checking my email and I never got the notice. Impatiently, I checked my order status email again and studied the form. Yes, everything seemed correct on it, even had my order number. I noticed it had a Cancel and an Awaiting Shipment side by side and neither was lit up in any particular way to say which I had.

Worried, I clicked on the Awaiting Shipment and got all sorts of helpful terminology and I thought that was nice. So I wondered about what it would tell me about Cancel and clicked it.

Instantly I got an email saying that they had canceled my order! It couldn’t have been more then two seconds before it had showed up! I emailed back, "No, No, No! Big Mistake. I accidentally hit the cancel! I want this order! Why does it take you forever to process something, but instantly to cancel it!" No return message to this question.

I hurriedly called the 1-800 number and got hold of a very nice girl. I explained what happened. I heard strange sounds over the phone and then her gasping for breath, "You’re too funny!" she roared in laughter. I would have set her straight, but I thought I’d better be good because she was the only one who could get me out of this pickle.

She said, "We only had 34 of those che…er, great deals left. I hope I can still get you one."

"Please try," I begged.

When I had finished my story of woe to Lee, I was almost in tears over the misunderstanding of computers; I saw a grin as big as Texas on Lee’s face. He saw my distress and lost the grin, but walked up the hallway with his back to me and his shoulders strangely shaking.

I went back to the computer to see if I had received a message and if I was to get the camera or not. All I saw was the same old receipt that it was Awaiting Shipment. Then I spied something else.

Hmmmmm. Wonder what "Terminate" means?

THE END

 

DISCLAIMER

GoatGateway.com and it's agents and sponsors are not responsible for the content of advertisers' sites or advertised claims.

GoatGateway.com does not act as an agent for buyers or sellers. GoatGateway.com does not in any way influence or control transactions for goods or services between buyers and sellers.

USE

Information on this web site is offered by persons who are NOT veterinary professionals except where noted.
The information contained on this web site is based on the knowledge and understanding of the author at the time of first publication. However, because of advances in agriculture related fields, users are reminded of their personal responsibility to ensure that information upon which they rely is up to date and to CHECK accuracy and currency of the information WITH YOUR VETERINARIAN for specific health and nutrition advice.

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL
Users of medical and chemical products must always read the label and strictly comply with directions on the label. Users are not absolved from compliance with the directions on the label by reason of any statement made, or omitted to be made, on this web site.

TRADEMARKS

The boergoats.com logo is a registered trademark of KLS Boer Goats.
The following are trademarks or service marks of KLS Boer Goats.

OnLine Show
GoatGateway
BoerGoats.com
MeatGoats.com
GoatClassifieds
ShowMeatGoats
ShowWethers.net
BoerGoat101.com
GoatBreeders.com
BoerGoats.comCHAT
The Show Wether Center
Where The Bucks Meet The Bucks
The Boer & Meat Goat Information Center