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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUE DATE (GESTATION) TABLE
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
DYSTOCIA
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FETAL DEVELOPMENT STAGES
FETAL HEARTBEAT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT CLONE
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDDING INSTRUCTION
KIDDING PHOTOS
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NERVE DAMAGE & PREGNANCY
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW DUE DATE CALCULATOR
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
NORMAL DELIVERY
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PREPARATION FOR KIDDING
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REPRODUCTIVE ANIMATIONS
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NO…
ZAPPED!
WHAT DAY IS IT?

Kidding season is the time for all of us to become even more addled than usual. A bit tetched in the head from lack of sleep, overwork, and downright feeling “Duh”. You tend to lose all tract of time because all the focus is on the kidding does and their sweet little babies, making sure everyone survives winter kidding. Well, for that matter, any time kidding, even if you do it in the spring, summer, or fall. Each season has its own problems to overcome to have successful kidding.

During winter kidding season your pregnant does rule. Whether you have baby monitors up like us or you have a whole security system with all the gizmos to keep an eye on every corner of the barn, you still find yourself spending a great deal of time, night or day, checking things out at the barn that look odd to you. Asking yourself questions, “Is that grunt meaning she's kidding? Was that the sound of a newborn kid? What on earth is she doing?” And, you go flying down to the barn to check it out. This greatly gets in the way of anything called sleep or rest. Soon, you find yourself staggering along, trying to remember what you are to do next in the way of chores, whether for the house or for the farm.

I find that if I take a big piece of paper and with black magic marker, write down what I am suppose to do next, like phone in feed order, don't forget groceries, etc. and then tape it so it hangs down from the kitchen doorway where my head will hit it as I go in and out, I can then keep up with most things after one or two hours of sleep a night for a week or two or even longer.

You find yourself many times asking what day it is, or what month is it? You get that tired. "Just from waiting on does to kid or being with them while they kid" you ask? Yes to both. Does don't just kid... like pop them out and that's it. Some start getting ready to kid by staring at the wall and really concentrating and taking up to 12 hours before finally kidding. So, you are running back and forth keeping an eye on her.

When she gets to the point where she actually has some sticky stuff hanging out of her, she may start kidding right then or it may be another couple of hours. More running back and forth checking on her. When she finally gets down to labor, she may be so excited over that first kid, she may have to talk to it, clean it, for next half hour to an hour before she even starts to have the second one. And, shell have to play with this one too, before you even know if she might be having a third or fourth one. Some kids get too impatient with this and after the first one, they pop out like popcorn. So, when she has first started actually pushing to have the first kid, and by the time you help get everyone dried off, iodine on their navels, and they have eaten, it may have been three hours before you can finally stagger off to bed, or to the couch, or to the easy chair. Then you are still on call to go down and check and make sure all the kids are under the heat lamp still and not off in a corner getting chilled and dying on you.

And, if it is really cold in the barn, even though you are using a heat lamp and you have dried that kid off with a towel, it seems a big kid will sull up on you and refuse to nurse. This is when you try a bottle, either of moms milk or, to speed things along because I have a lot of girls getting ready to kid, I use whole milk with colostrum powder in it and offer 3-4 ounces and a lot of times they easily slurp it down. When you check on them in an hour, they are up tottering along trying to nurse off mom. With a little assistance, they finally get the teat. Each kid can be so different, you have to keep an eye on them to see exactly what is going on or you can lose a kid.

Sometimes you have to bottle feed when a particularly stubborn kid refuses to get down to nurse off mom. He thinks the teat should be high up on her side somewhere. You end up bottle feeding him for a day or two, leaving him with mom, and then miracle of miracles, he starts nursing by watching his brother or sister.

We had a particularly tough case when an experienced mom kidded only one kid. This threw her off, where were the others, she asked. She kept wanting to keep the one kid under her neck to keep an eye on him, probably for fear of losing the one, because after all, something had obviously taken the others that she usually had. Well, this was fine with him because he thought the teat should be at the base of her neck anyway. No amount of sweet talking could convince the two to shape up and act right, so he had to be bottle fed while he was with him mom as she supervised. This went on for three days and Lee and I were even getting up at 2 a.m. to make sure he got his bottle down at the barn, and Lee was milking the doe after the first day to give the milk to the baby and finally the kid caught on. He just smelled the milk while Lee was milking the doe and went wild. "So, that's where that comes from!" He never looked back, he was on the teat almost all the time after that.

I always buy and keep on hand a paste tube of colostrum in case I have a kid that will not nurse and will not accept a bottle. Once in a while this happens and it can last a whole day. Some people tube the kid, but we had a bad experience with that and don't do that anymore. We squirt some paste colostrum into their mouths until finally we get all things sorted out and the kid is nursing like a normal kid should. Its always seems to be something extra than just kidding to keep you up at all hours and not giving you any chance of rest. But, this is kidding, so you accept it and learn and go on.

One thing you do learn is you never put on your jamies at night to go to bed during kidding season. A doe starts hollering over the baby monitor in the middle of the night and just how fast are you to getting in your barn clothes? Oh, you are simply going to throw on a coat over your pajamas and just run down, huh? Think again, its winter, kidding is never over in a few minutes, it could be a couple of hours minimum before you get back into the warmth of the house.

What do I do? I go to bed wearing thick fleecy sweat pants, sweat shirt, wool socks, and sleep on top the covers to be ready to be up in a minute. Then, when I hear something, I throw on a heavy warm coat, insulated barn boots, warm toboggan, and go flying down to the barn in seconds flat. Hey, it doesn't take long to teach me that wearing pajamas, bunny slippers, and a light coat down in a 20 degree barn for a couple of hours is no fun.

Well, now I have to get back to work and do ...? What day did we say it was?

THE END


 

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