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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
autumnfarmsboers.com
Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

THURSDAY, THURSDAY, CANíT TRUST THAT DAY
by
Connie S. Reynolds

I know, according to The Mamas and The Papas song, "Monday, Monday", itís suppose to be "Monday, Monday, canít trust that day". But, if they had the Thursday I had, they would have changed the name of their song.

Thursday started out innocently enough. At 5 a.m. Lee and I jumped sprightly out of bed to start the feeding. The song goes concerning Monday that "It was all I hoped it would be." Well, I could have hoped for a lot more, such as sleeping in until 7 a.m., eating a leisurely breakfast first before feeding the goats and various livestock, it not being pitch black outside and using flashlights whoís batteries are never bright enough.

As for sprightly jumping out of bed, itís more of a wish then reality. Staggering out of bed and putting all motions on automatic so your brain can sleep a while longer is really what we do. Feeding was proceeding along when Lee said, "Iím getting a migraine."

Lee has had migraines all of his life. Some say it lessens as you get older, but it hasnít in his case. Allergies bring them on. He is allergic to certain foods (greasy foods, high fat foods) that force us to actually eat healthy. He is also allergic to horse dander, dog dander, cat dander, everything but goat dander. Heís allergic to old dust (I only keep new dust in the house) and molds. Heís especially allergic to fragrances, such as colognes and perfumes. Thatís why I am forced to buy the very expensive unscented perfumes.

Lee hurried to the house before he became totally blind from the pain of a migraine, and I continued the feeding. Finally, everyone was fed and put in whatever field they were suppose to be put in that day. I checked my watch to see if I had time for a bowl of cereal. I had an appointment that day to pick up sawdust and I tried to be there as soon as they opened for business.

I love using sawdust/shavings for the horse and goat stalls. Itís like kitty litter, very absorbent and helps cut down smell. We use it all the time except during kidding. It can be messy for a doe then and we use hay in the stalls at that time.

The weather said showers by noon. I could get there in plenty of time, pick up the sawdust and get home before it rained. No problem. I was so confident in that weatherman that I left my rain gear at home instead of throwing it in the truck.

As I drove down the road I noticed it was staying dark longer then usual. Then I noticed the clouds, dark, ominous, pregnant with water (hey, I read literary novels, too). Looked like a cloud burst at any second. Oh, dear.

When I got to the companyís office, it was just starting to sprinkle lightly. Nothing I couldnít handle. I hurried and paid for the sawdust, drove around back where one of the men loaded up the truck with a bobcat with absolutely the best looking shavings. The sprinkles were coming down a little heavier.

Just as he finished and went back into the building, WHAM! A tremendous wind hit, water came down by the tub fulls. Iím hurriedly digging out my tarp from behind the truck seat to cover the sawdust. Wrong tarp! Iím suppose to have a neat little 8x10 tarp, already set up with strings to tie with and it was gone! All was there was a huge tarp that I couldnít even guess its size and no strings attached!

I always carry hay ropes in the truck. I snatched them up, dug out my Swiss army knife, and started cutting and tying on strings on this huge tarp. The wind is bringing the rain now in great waves. I feel like a ground surfer as I fight my way to the side of the truck to throw the huge tarp over the sawdust racks.

And, itís not just wind and rain Iím fighting, itís sawdust. My sawdust being scooped up out of the truck by this giant invisible shovel and being thrown all over me and the front of the truck, plastered down by rain, and then another scoop thrown all over me and that plastered down yet again.

I could feel my hair being lifted up by the wind, getting totally soaked by the rain, and then matted with sawdust, layer after layer all over my head. I felt like I had the teased beehive sawdust hairstyle. And then it would get wrung out by the wind, washed by the sheets of rain, and started all over again. I was in the Twilight Zone.

I had to save my sawdust! I gave a mighty heave to throw the huge tarp over the sawdust racks. The wind caught it and threw it back at me, totally wrapping me in tarp. Those few minutes I fought my way out of it I was dry. Small consolation. I was losing sawdust!

I dragged the huge tarp to the back of the truck, climbed up on the bumper, and flipped the tarp out again. This time the wind caught it just right and blew the tarp out straight. It looked like I was trying to put sails up on the truck to cut down on diesel consumption. I quickly tied down the back end of the tarp while it was flapping furiously over the sawdust racks. I retrieved each string I could and tied them down, slowly working my way around the truck. The whole thing looked cock-eyed, but what was left of the sawdust was protected from wind and rain.

I tied the last string and the rain instantly quit. Just like that. A gentle breeze started blowing, still overcast but no torrents of rain, not a bit of the cyclone wind was left. I stood there dripping in my boots, staring open mouthed up at the sky.

Soggily I climbed into the truck and started the motor. I was wet and cold. I flipped the heater on high. I slowly pulled out on the main road and in seconds the insides of the truck was fogged up like I was raising a tropical rain forest. I flicked on the defroster, blasting my wet hair and face, still having to wipe the window every now and then; it was so steamy on the inside of the cab.

Five minutes past the place I had got sawdust, I noticed it hadnít rained in that area. I couldnít believe it. I had got drenched just a few miles back. Needing a few groceries, I stopped at the first store in Ravenswood. I squashily hopped out of the truck.

The truck was coated with sawdust. I peeked into the side mirror and saw a face not too dirty, but the hair. The hair had dried into sawdust layers, poofing the hair up high, one layer of sawdust, one layer of hair, one layer of sawdust, one layer or hair, add water, dry with a truck defroster. I think you get the picture. I dusted my face off, shook my clothes out, gave up on my hair and marched into the store.

The clerk was certainly a polite person. She gave me one startled look, particularly at my hair, and mildly said, "You got a little sawdust in your hair." I thanked her and asked if it had rained here. "Not a drop," she said.

I sighed and paid for my groceries. I drove home and as I got out of the truck in my still soggy clothes, I saw Leeís grinning face at the door. He was feeling good enough from his migraine to greet me. He burst out laughing. It certainly is nice to bring laughter to a sick person. Right.

Thursday morning you gave me no warning. Thursday, Thrusday, canít trust that day. The Mamas and the Papas really should have named that song Thurday, Thursday.

THE END

 

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