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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
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BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
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BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
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FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
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FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
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HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
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HOME DECORATOR
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HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
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I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
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I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
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IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
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JUST 1 MORE GOAT
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LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
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MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
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MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
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NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
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NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
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PLOP
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REFEREE
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ROCK ON
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RUB DIRT ON IT
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SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
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SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
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SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
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THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
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TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
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UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
autumnfarmsboers.com
Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

SHOTS
By Connie S. Reynolds

Most of us have been associated with shots in one form or another all of our lives. It all started out with the doctor. My first memory of getting a shot was watching a doctor sneak up on me while I am sitting on the examining table. I donít dare go charging out of the room because mom is there keeping an eye on me. Her eyebrows are raising up and down, warning me to not move. The doctor is saying, "Now, this wonít hurt a bit, honey." Right.

I wonder what a doctor thinks when they come sneaking up on you, bent over, with the needle hid behind their backs? That their posture in itself is not going to be menacing? And then, when they pull out this huge needle, at least a foot long, to jab in your tiny little kid arm. That is not going to scare ten years of growth out of you? What does a little kid do?

You shut up, donít say a word, pretend to believe that a candy sucker afterwards will make it all worth it. Why? Think of the alternative. It could be much worse. We could be getting the rump shot. If you are very young, you are made to drop your drawers and have a complete stranger give you a shot with the foot long needle mentioned earlier. You get humiliation along with pain. So, when you are promoted to getting arm shots, you are so thankful that you donít even mention that the doctor looks like a complete idiot sneaking up on you with the needle behind his back. Youíve already been through worse. This is childís play. And, any kid can stand getting ten years of growth scared out of him to keep from getting the rump shot.

Never in one hundred years would you believe then, as a kid, that you would ever be giving shots, especially to animals, who have an even dimmer view of needles then people. One of the first things I get as an adult teenager is a horse. Yep, you guessed it. The vet canít come out every second that you call. He gives you the medicine and the needles to give your horse his shot, plus complete instructions on giving a thousand pound animal a shot. Right.

I discovered something interesting. Vets in different areas like to give shots in certain specific parts of the horse. In my first horse area, they liked to give the shots in the neck. Thereís a triangular area on the neck below the mane, up above the bottom of the neck, and up against the shoulder that makes a triangle. Give the shot in that area, the vet instructs.

The vet says first, you take some alcohol (rubbing alcohol) and rub it on the spot your are going to give the shot. Next, take the needle off the syringe that already has the medication in it, keep it held in such a manner in your hand that it doesnít touch the horse. Now, with that same hand thump the horse two or three times to get his mind off of what you are doing and sort of numb the area, and then on one of those thumps, slide that needle into the neck.

Of course, he isnít suppose to notice that this huge needle has just entered his neck. Okay, now watch the needle and notice if any blood is coming out. If it is, take the needle out and try again. You donít want to give the medication in the vein. If the needle is in and no blood is flowing forth, connect the syringe on the needle. Draw back on the plunger to make double sure you havenít hit a vein, because drawing the plunger back will suck the blood up into the syringe if you have hit a vein and you can see your mistake and try again.

Of course, all this time the thousand pound horse is quietly standing there. Right. For one thing, the horse gets really suspicious when you wash his neck down with something as cool and stinky as alcohol. Next, he is really wondering why you are standing there thumping on his neck. Apprehension is starting to build in both you and the horse now.

Then, WHACK! He is stabbed in the neck with this giant needle. Neither of you are standing still at this moment. Both of you are dancing, you trying to stay out from under the horseís feet, and him wanting to get away. After a couple of minutes he just might stand still if nothing else suspicious is happening. He does notice this slight pain in his neck. Or, you both are jitterbugging around, you trying to connect the syringe to the needle to draw the plunger back to check for blood and him saying, "Feet donít fail me now."

Finally the shot is given, or you have to quit and wait until the vet shows up to sneak up on your unsuspecting horse (right) to give him a tranquilizer (refusing to give you one too no matter how much you beg), before you can even give him his yearly shots.

Okay, thatís this part of the countryís way of giving shots. Move west and for some reason in an area known for bronc riding and famous bucking horses, vets want to give the shot in the rump. Ever stand by a thousand pound plus horse, facing his hip, knowing he can cow kick as good as any cow and try to give a shot? At least you are smart enough not to stand directly behind him, but a cow kick can still knock you for a loop.

Well, while you are thinking on that, letís switch gears and learn how to give a shot to a goat. You think, a piece of cake after attempting horses. Wrong.

I remember it well. Me, collecting up all my needles and syringes, putting the CD/T bottle in the small cooler with an ice pack, stuffing the needles and syringes in my pockets. I use the smaller size needles of 20-22 gauge and only ĺ inch long. Sometimes I have to go for the inch long needle, but I prefer the ĺ inch.

Lee and I trick some does to come into a stall to get some grain. Our goats are dehorned so Lee either grabs a collar on a doe or gets one around the neck. Recognizing trickery, the doe takes off around the stall. Lee is digging in his heels and trying to pen her up against the wall. You have to remember that a lot of our adult does can weigh in 200 lbs. or more.

He gets her stopped. Sheís antsing around. I draw the medicine into the syringe and charge forwards. "Hold her still," I shout. "How?" Lee asks.

I have become so good at giving shots that I only give shots under the skin, a little more difficult thing to do. Okay, I only give it under the skin because I donít want to damage the meat. After all, we sell meat goats.

Leeís got the doe out in the middle of the stall, standing on one side of her. I go to the other side and we both pretend we are a squeeze chute. I bend over the doeís back, lift up the skin on her side behind her elbow. The cover is already off the needle. Forget about using alcohol to disinfect the place, forget about pushing the needle in, then attaching the syringe, drawing back to make sure you arenít getting blood. Just get in there, give the shot and get out. The jiggling, hollering doe is not going to hold still forever. It also helps that it is under the skin so supposedly you arenít hitting any veins.

Now, comes the hard part after giving the shot. Trying to find the cover for the needle you just used. Iíve usually stuck it in my pocket and itís lost forever. There I am swinging a deadly ĺ inch needle around, trying hard not to jab Lee (who has no sense of humor about it) or myself. Finally I find the cover for the needle or I give up and stick the needle in a crack in the wall to collect later. Thatís why you will see some of our stall walls decorated with ĺ inch needles sticking in various cracks. One of these days Iíll remember to collect them.

If I do find the cover I find that I usually jab myself putting that cover on. I need to remember to wear my glasses more. Trying to line up the cover and the needle, I usually over shoot and jab myself in the finger. So, the blood on my coat is not from the goat.

Now time for the kid shots. If you think the does can be hard to handle, try giving a shot to a determined little kid. Letís say you have twenty or more cornered in a stall. You discover quickly they can leap as high as the rafters. In fact, that is where the movie idea of having all these kung fu fighters look like they are flying came from, watching cornered goat kids.

Lee finally snags one as it goes flying over his head and to hold such a fighty little thing, he sits on a bucket with the front legs of the kid on one side of his legs and the back legs on the other side. Heís hunkered over the kid to control some of the squirming. That leaves me a tiny space on the kidís side behind the elbow to give the shot. The kidís eyeing me as I approach and so is Lee. They both know this could get bad and either or both could receive a shot.

The kid starts screaming bloody murder even before I lift up the skin to slide the needle in and Lee looks like he is about to. He relaxes when he sees that the kid really is getting the shot this time.

Finally, all shots are given and as soon as the ends of my fingers heal and I can take the Band-Aids off, it will be time for the booster shots.

THE END

 

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