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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
autumnfarmsboers.com
Lee & Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

HOW YOU FEELING?
By Connie S. Reynolds

Donít answer that question with, "With my fingers." Iím thinking more about health here, not listening to smart alec comebacks. Health is a serious thing. Not only is your health important, but your goatsí health also.

You have to be careful about being healthy, though. It can be dangerous. If you are the sensitive type like myself, everything you read about health you take very seriously. Raise up your hands on how many of you have had to quit buying health magazines. Especially those women health magazines (guys, put down your hands, remember what I said about being a smart alec?) because you had everything they wrote about?

In the beginning of time, when I was in college learning to be a special education teacher, I had to watch this empathy I had because of the field I was in. After reading about all the problems of a special child, I was totally amazed how a mongoloid, autistic, dyslexic, barely trainable person like myself ever made it through college and receive two degrees.

When I started reading about goat health, the same thing happened. No, I didnít think I had a goatís disease (I did wonder about one or two of them though), but I thought all my goats showed all these symptoms sometime in the past, present, and Iím betting, in the future. I had to check this out closer, make sure I had all the medications for everything.

The Nairobi sheep disease, Peste Des Petits, and the Trypanosomiasis diseases gave me quite a pause. I couldnít even pronounce them, except the one with "sheep" in it. How on earth could I call and tell the vet what my goats had, if I couldnít pronounce it? When I ran across Papillomatosis, I relaxed. Everyone knows that one. Warts! Your goats have been out kissing frogs again. Nothing to help that one except to let it wear off in a year and hope they donít kiss anymore frogs. No worry on that one.

Then one evening, the worse thing in the world happened. Our older fullblood Boer buck wasnít acting "right". No, he wasnít going around quacking like a duck or meowing like a cat. He just wasnít acting right. He was acting tame.

We hadnít fooled with this buck much and he pretty well thought all people were down right yucky. Trying to catch him to worm him or give him shots was a real rodeo. One day I flippantly said to Lee we needed to trim the older buckís feet. Lee said, fine, how we going to catch him?

No problem I said. I went and got feed while Lee watched, wondering what I was up to. I went into the buckís building, poured the feed in and left, only ducking behind the building. The buck went into the building, I snuck around the building, and with a mighty leap dove into the building and grabbed his horns to hold him. Now remember, this is an almost grown fullblood Boer buck. Heís already better then 250 lbs.

The next thing I knew, we leaped out of the building. This greatly puzzled me since I had no intentions of leaping anywhere. But, for the moment I was under buck power. Ha! I can stop you, boy, I thought. Iím hanging on for dear life, up against the buckís shoulder, holding onto his horns with a death grip. Instead of running along with him, I stuck my heels into the ground. Talk about plowing the north forty. It never even slowed him down.

On my second trip around the buckís pen, Lee leaned over the gate and yelled, "Do you need help?" I seem to be surrounded by smart alecs.

But, the question made me mad enough to grab hold of the buckís beard with one hand while the other is hanging onto one horn. I set my feet even more, threw my hip into the buckís side and was able to start circling him by turning his head by the use of his beard.

While we are dizzily circling, the buck gives up and stops and Lee comes in and puts a collar on him so we can tie him and trim his feet. Another story there, but I wonít bore you.

That gives you an idea how wild he is. Now, here is this buck standing there, sleepy eyed, and not moving when I come near him. Not good. He has to be sick. I sit down on the water tub and study the situation. He really doesnít look good. His eyes look off, not perky and wild. Plus, heís not leaving the country because I walked into his pen.

I sit and think over my options and decide thereís no help to it, heís got to have his temperature taken. Iíd have to go tell Lee. I can just see our obituaries now, " After big buck has a thermometer stuck up his rear, he stomps his owners into the ground. What pieces we could find are now buried here where theyíre wild ideas may now rest in peace. May we all learn from this." Signed Ravenswoodís Daily Movement.

I tell Lee and he shakes his head, knowing this could be the end. I go get the thermometer. As we walk into the buckís pen, he just stands there. I walk up to him and scratch the top of his back. He stands there. Not good. I then get hold of his horns. He just stands there. Lee comes up and gets hold of his horns and braces himself for the buck to explode. Nothing. I stick the digital thermometer up the buckís rear. He doesnít move. Not even when the beeper goes off. He doesnít have a temp. What now?

If he doesnít have a temp, he doesnít have an infection, so no antibiotics. What do I do when I donít know what to do? I worm and give fortified B-complex shots. So I did that. He still doesnít move. Lee turns him loose, and I stand there scratching his back, puzzling over this new tame buck.

I go back and sit back down on the water tub and ruminate on all this. I go over all the diseases Iíve been reading about. I finally decide on bloat, even though his belly really doesnít look bloated, or urinary calculi.

I go to my goat medicine cabinet and get out generic milk of magnesia, baking soda, banamine for pain, and if it is urinary calculi, I get out my methigel. I decide against sitting a big buck like that up on his rear and trying to pull out his privates to see if any of it is purplish in color, meaning a "stone" caught that is holding his water back. No way. I put that goat health idea aside.

Once again I go into his pen and he lets me catch him. Lee comes in and holds him and I drench the big buck with the generic milk of magnesia, the baking soda, give him a shot of banamine, and squirt methigel down his throat. Lee turns him loose and goes back to doing chores and I sit back down on the water tub and study the buck. Half hour later the buck is walking briskly around, eating hay, drinking water, going out grazing, even chases the livestock guard dog to play. Wow. And, heís keeping away from me.

I tell Lee if that buck comes up demanding another pain shot, Iím going to be highly suspicious, especially if he lets me scratch his back.

All my health reading has paid off. The buck is well and back to his normal self with just the use of a few medicines. I didnít have to do anything exotic, just study every disease in the book, memorize, and buy all the medicines. Well, at least some, Iím still waiting for some African medicines to arrive. And, now I have my stampeding buck back. Life is good.

THE END

 

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