While spreading peanut butter with my finger on my favorite whole wheat bread, it
occurred to me I should share some kidding tips for survival for that exciting season.
These are mainly household tips, but very necessary during Kidding Season.
The idea for this story came to me because I had just come into the house and faced a
kitchen with dirty dishes that looked to be towering to the ceiling. We’d been in Kidding
Season a couple of weeks and washing dishes was low on the To Do list. That’s when I
came face to face with the realization I had no clean eating or spreading utensils handy.
Washing my hands (important to do to keep that pure peanut butter taste), I proceeded
spreading the peanut butter with my finger. Adaptability is very important in Kidding
Season.
One of the very first things you should do before Kidding Season is tell everyone, friends,
relatives, complete strangers, that it is about to occur. Tell them when it will start and
when you think it will end. Explain to them what they are to expect from you during
Kidding Season and that is absolutely nothing. You will be dropping from sight. Your sole
reason for living is taking care of those does and the kids they will be having.
When people try to call or drop by during Kidding Season, you will not be there. You will
be down at the barn, morning, noon, night, midnight, early morning, earlier morning, etc.
When those does say, "Ouch", you say, "I’m there!" And, people need to understand
this.
So, explain it to them before hand, and maybe, just maybe, they’ll feel so sorry for you
that they will drop casseroles by so you will have something to eat and you won’t be
spreading peanut butter with your finger. Oh, tell them to bring utensils too.
Before Kidding Season starts you need to practice taking catnaps. Practice sitting in a
chair and willing yourself to fall asleep for exactly 10-15 minutes to catch up on lost
sleep. It’s better not to practice this at work, unless you’ve been doing so for years. If
you have been, then you are already ready for Kidding Season in the sleep department.
Sleep. That’s a five-letter word you won’t hear often, much less do, during Kidding
Season. I, personally, keep 3-4 wind-up clocks with different alarm times around the
house. These clocks are set at different times for the night to make me or Lee get up and
go check on does. We kid in the winter and unless we want kid popcicles, we have to
check on the does regularly.
Stock up on fast foods for Kidding Season. I get plenty of peanut butter and whole wheat
bread. If you are into lunchmeats, get those. You say, what about TV dinners?
Personally, after tasting many TV dinners when my hand was operated on, I think TV
dinners are a subtle form of terrorist attacks, promising something tasty and giving you
something nasty. Besides, you think you are going to have time to microwave a TV
dinner? HA!
Oh, and caffeine, get plenty of caffeine. You’ll hit a day or a couple of days that the girls
will insist on kidding one after the other, all day long, into the night, and early the next
morning. Or, you have a girl that you swear is going to drop a kid any second and then
suddenly she sees an interesting piece of hay that she absolutely has to check out and eat
and then she has to chew her cud. Just as you think it’s a false alarm and you are starting
to move away, she squats and grunts. You are back like a shot and she pretty much
keeps you by her side for several hours, keeping a smug look on her face the whole time.
I like to get pop bottles and fill them up with my favorite high caffeine cola and keep one
at each barn. That way I can take a swig as I walk by to keep me going. You just have to
watch out for temperature changes when your bottle could freeze solid and you damage
to your teeth trying to take that swig. Also put that bottle somewhere the dogs, cats, rats,
goats, etc. can’t reach it. We have a dog that is a cola addict and he’s all the time thinking
of clever schemes to get hold of my cola bottle.
What about make-up? Forget that, who has time to apply make-up? Your neighbors will
just have to think your husband has traded in his beautiful wife for this pasty faced,
washed out woman. Besides, with all that caffeine and lack of sleep, you will be definitely
wired and it wouldn’t be safe to bring that eyelash curler anywhere close to your face.
Your lips may end up with a permanent curl.
Plan ahead about washing clothes. You can get slimed a lot while kidding. Plus, you have
to keep those kidding towels washed up. Be ready to wash any time day or night. I find
myself flying by the washer at 3 a.m., throwing kidding towels in, detergent, Clorox, on
my way back to the barn or maybe a chance to get two hours sleep in my favorite hard
backed chair.
When you wash the family’s clothes have it planned out. All things get washed together,
no separating of whites or colors. You don’t have the time. Use cold water and dump
everything in. Forget about sorting and putting clothes away. If you are fortunate to have
a spare bedroom, dump the cleaned, dried clothes on the bed and have everyone go in
there to find what they need. If you don’t have a spare bedroom, designate the end of the
couch, but hurry, your girls need you. Dump the clean clothes, shout to the family where
they are, and dive back to the barn.
One word of caution in doing this type of washing, if you find you are running low on
clean underthings, but your husband has plenty, do not, and I repeat, do not be tempted
to borrow a pair of his. What if you have to hurry to the vet’s to get medicines and you
are in an accident? They rush you to the hospital and have to strip your clothes off, how
will you explain what you are wearing? Sure, other goat people who happen to be nurses
and who have gone through Kidding Season will understand, but the rest won’t. So, don’t
do it. You’ll never live it down. Trust me.
What about ironing? What’s that? See how easily that’s handled.
A clean house during Kidding Season? Never heard of it. Just keep yourself a walkway so
you can hurry out of the house and to the barn. You will also find the dust to be excellent
for writing notes to each other in. If company drops by and they don’t fully comprehend
the Kidding Season and are looking around with supreme disapproval. Throw a dust rag
at them as you go out the door and let them do something about.
You work full time plus are going to kid? Oh, poor you, how I feel for you. One year we
decided to take vacation time during kidding season. What did the girls do? Go exactly 6
days over until everyone was back at work and then start kidding.
So, get those fast foods, caffeine, warnings about kidding, washing plans all figured out
before hand and kidding will go by like a blur. I mean that. Lack of sleep does that to
you. And, if you’ve used up all your utensils and plastic spoons and you just have to have
that chocolate syrup in your milk to celebrate a new kid, just put your hand over the glass
and shake. Just make sure the glass’s mouth is not larger then your hand. I have a very
interesting kitchen ceiling because of this. Anyway, these tips should lead you directly into
a successful Kidding Season. Happy Kidding!
