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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
By Connie S. Reynolds

autumnfarmsboers.com
Lee & Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

A while back I read an article that said how you dressed is what made you successful or not. Being a goat farmer, this being successful is very important to me. So, I took the article very seriously.

And, I would like to lay to rest some rumors that goes along with this topic of dressing for success. Contrary to reports about me looking like a little bag lady while out working on the farm, I would like to say in my defense, I have never been "little" in my whole entire life. Now, thatís cleared up letís start, as goat farmers, dressing for success and I can give you some helpful hints.

Always buy the best duct tape. Thatís why I keep a variety of colors of duct tape on hand. I have red duct tape, black duct tape, yellow duct tape, gray duct tape and I hear there are many more colors out there. My favorite store to shop in, Big Lots, just hasnít brought them in yet.

Why duct tape? Why, to patch your favorite winter coat, boots, western hat, etc., silly. And, always color coordinate the outfit you are patching with the color of the duct tape. Iíll have to admit though; every now and then I get in a festive mood and will choose an entirely different color of duct tape just to liven things up.

For example, I love down coats for winter. Particularly when they are on sale in April for 75% off. But, the outer shells on the coats are so flimsy. The slightest snag and you get a big rip and if you try and sew the rip, you get new holes from the stitching. You just canít win. One minute you are warm and happy in your down coat and the next you have feathers floating around you and a draft. Or, you might notice your kid goats running around with a mouthful of feathers from where you have been sitting on a bucket bottle feeding and they have been helping themselves to the holes in your down coat. One year I wondered if I had a bunch of kid chicken killers on my hands when they ran by with mouths full of feathers. When I stood up and feathers floated all around me, then I understood.

This down goat was green and feeling in a festive mood, I used red duct tape on all the holes. I had red patches on my arms and one really long one across the middle of my back where a rough edge of a cattle panel had snagged me. That day a couple of customers dropped by to look at Boer goats. They drove up and I happily charged out to say Howdy.

They stared at my coat a minute or two, which I never thought a thing about, and then good manners took over and they worriedly talked pleasantries back to me. I had them wipe their boots off on my Clorox/water soaked mat to prevent diseases being carried into the herd and I walked them down the hill to the pasture.

They were still giving my coat worried looks and raising eyebrows at each other. When we got to the gate and opened it up and walked in, such relief came over their faces as they looked at the goats. They happily walked among the goats, petting a few here or there and bought a couple.

It wasnít until they had happily driven away did it occur to me that my coat had been a shock to them. They thought my herd would be a patched up lot also. But, really, they had to admire that beautiful colored duct tape on my coat. How many people can find such nice colors of duct tape? They should have known I only went for the best.

I have duct tape holding my favorite pair of rubber insulated boots together, duct tape holding together the rain cover on my western winter hat, and all in tasteful black duct tape coloring. I take this idea of dressing for success very seriously.

The article went on to mention manicuring and how important it was, especially if you shake hands a lot. I looked down at my broken, half ripped off nails with everything the barn had to offer stuffed under them. These things just canít be helped. You grab up a hay bale and a nail rips. You grab a flying kid going by that doesnít want to be wormed and another nail gets ripped half off, and the day continues in this fashion. So, what I do to keep looking successful, I file the rough edges on the nails, even if they are uneven, and hope that doing the dishes tonight will get the soaking that they say all nails need for manicuring.

And, if anyone wants to shake my hand, they had better have gloves on. I have so many calluses that not many soft hands can stand up to the abuse of my hand shaking.

According to this article on dressing for success, hair styling is extremely important. Having the right hairstyle and keeping it in order tells people if you are a real career person or not. I totally agree with this. Around here, if you want to stay warm in the winter you need to be able to get your nice warm woolen toboggan (thatís a winter hat, not a sled) over your hair do. If you insist on wearing the highly teased, heavily lacquered hairstyle popular in the area, well, your toboggan just wonít fit. You are in for some cold times then.

I personally go for the tightly permed look. I always wait for the beauty salons in town to have a perm sale, you know, get a free perm with a gas fill-up, to get a style my toboggan will fit over. The goats do not totally agree on this permed thing. They usually take one whiff of me after my perming, curl their lips and run to the end of the place. Lee has to go bribe them back with a bucket of grain. But, what do goats know about hairstyles, so just ignore them.

I did have to draw the line at wearing a suit to my job down at the barn. Jeans would just have to do. But, I do try to wear jeans with as few muddy kid hoof prints on them as possible. The idea of wearing conservative high heels had to be dropped also. I knew I would get hung up in the mud around the barn if I wore those. Besides, the heels just didnít look right with the muddy splotched jeans.

I did have to compromise on the shoes and so now I make sure I keep the duct tape new on my insulated rubber boots. Dressing for success takes a lot of work, but itís worth it.

The article insisted on make-up for the career minded woman. I tried, but the hay chaff, sawdust, and goat hair kept sticking to my face. So, Iíve had to compromise there too and just go with eye shadow, mascara and curling the eyelashes a little. Even then, when itís 5 a.m. you canít always be accurate with the mascara and eye shadow, especially if you have been up most the night kidding. What I want to know is if itís really necessary to use the same color of eye shadow for both eyes. That early in the morning, I donít think so.

So, thatís about it for dressing for success in goat farming. Go out there now and do like I do. Dress successful, feel successful, and sell goats. And donít forget to keep a good supply of duct tape on hand.

THE END


 

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