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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!

AUTUMN BUCKET ...er ...BOUQUET
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmsboers.com
Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

The last two weeks have been very interesting. We decided to kid 6 of the full blood Boer girls early to have extra kidding stalls in January when the serious kidding takes places. In other words, a multitude of does kid then. And, itís strange after a few months off from kidding how you forget what kidding is like. This small dose of does was like a taste test, a reminder of what is to come.

We carefully hung up two baby monitors down in the barn, putting them on different channels to cut down static. We had three monitors up at the house for listening. I had one in the "office" where I answer a lot of emails on the computer, one in the bedroom, and one in the living room.

I set the kidding bucket with kidding "things" and towels on the downstairs chest freezer where all the barn coats hang and barn boots are handy. The girls were in their bedded stalls and heat lamps were up because even in late fall it can hit 20-30 degrees F at night. Now we would wait.

One afternoon I was in the "office" writing on the computer when I heard an odd sound from the baby monitor. I flew out of that chair, down the stairs, partially threw on a coat on the left side of my body and the rain poncho on the right (it was raining that day), snatched up a wooly toboggan for my head and charged down the hill with the kidding bucket to the barn. I got there with my heart pounding in my throat, puffing and wheezing enough that all the girls turned and gave me a startled look, making sure it was really me and not a grunting, snorting, wheezing, oddly dressed bear standing and staring at them.

And, I was staring at them. At least trying to stare at them. I noticed I couldnít see out of one eye. In alarm I reached up to feel my face and discovered that my toboggan was on the right side of my head, covering my right eye. In great relief I straightened up my toboggan, put my coat and poncho on right, and saw that the girls were fine. No one kidding.

A day or two later one of the girls acted more frantic then usual to get her breakfast, rushing to her feeder and back to the door, over and over. I fed her and went on feeding the others and carrying hay and stopped to check her 15 minutes later and she was down kidding! Hay flew everywhere as I threw it out of my way to rush and get the kidding bucket.

This was a yearling doe and I was betting she was only going to have a single, out popped two cute kids. I was surprised but she wasnít. She was so happy with her babies as I helped clean them up and put iodine on their belly buttons.

Kidding means getting up several times in the night to check on the girls and I check on them during the day every two hours. I donít like nasty surprises, only good surprises, so I keep that hill hot as I run up and down checking on due girls. One thing both Lee and I forgot about kidding was Shorty, the barn rooster. With the baby monitors on, somehow Shorty always lined himself up in front of one and crowed his little rooster heart out at 3:30 a.m. every morning, and then again at 4:00 a.m., and at 4:30 a.m. We usually got up and turned baby monitors off at that time because we get up at 5:00 a.m. and we needed at least a little sleep. One 3:00 morning, Lee swore he heard a new born kid over the monitor. He jumped up and went and checked and nothing was going on at the barn. Personally, I think he got up at 3 a.m. to wake Shorty up and get even with him for once.

Another girl decided to kid in the afternoon (I love day kiddings) and she was so close that I got a bucket and sat on it in the stall with the twins that had been born two days earlier. I could watch, yet be there if she needed help. While I was sitting there I was watching the two day old kids play. The little girl lined herself up with her momís short water bucket and reared up and did a hop and tried to leap over the bucket. Pretty impressive attempt for such a young kid. But, she landed with her belly in the middle of the bucket opening, and legs hanging on either side, far enough off the ground that she was stuck over the bucket. She grunted and complained a few seconds until I got over there and lifted her off the bucket. I was laughing so hard the tears were flowing.

Since this little girl didnít have a name yet, the idea of Bucket for a name came up. But, she was a cute little girl, I couldnít call her Bucket. I remembered an old British show on PBS called "Keeping Up Appearances" or something like that. And, this very snobby lady married a fellow whoís last name was Bucket, but she couldnít have that and insisted on everyone calling it Bouquet. So, that little girl was christened Autumn Bouquet right then.

The doe in the next stall started serious kidding, got the first kid out fine, but the second came out hind feet first and got stuck. I did some wiggling with the kid and quickly got her out, and to my surprise a third kid popped out! This yearling doe stood up to survey all that she had accomplished and almost immediately dried up. No joking here. Never saw anything like it. She had a bag a couple of days ago but somehow it just withered up after she kidded. Nothing in it. Nada. So, I found myself with three very cute bottle babies. I left them with their mommy because she dearly loved them and I set them up on schedule for bottle feeding every two hours for these newborns. Which was easy since I was running to the barn every two hours anyway!

This young mom took my feeding her kids very seriously. She knew when they were suppose to be fed and would stand and holler until I showed up. She would then check the bottles over well and check her kids to make sure everyone was getting fed and was getting plenty. There was to be no hungry babies on her watch.

Another wonderful doe decided to kid in the day and as I watched this first time mother I was impressed. Here, she had never kidded before and when it was getting close and she was straining, she found herself licking the air like crazy. And when the first kid popped half way out she swung around and continued licking and got the kidís head immediately cleaned up and then she finished pushing the rest of him out to clean him up. I remember thinking, "Youíre a keeper, girl." A lot of first timers just basically donít know what is going on, until they kid a second time. Here, she just knew what to do the first time. Good girl.

In all my ramblings up and down the hill to check on the girls, I got to study the new kids closely. One three day old buck kid was a hunk, a super chunk and we named him Autumn Strong Man Joe and he thought he was hot stuff. Three days old and he stood behind his mommy and started acting like a big buck, doing the "na-na-na-na" talk and striking her with a front leg. He kept striking her in the udder and she just ignored him, contently chewing her hay, and on the fourth strike from her obnoxious offspring, she lifted her tail and dropped a double load of goat berries on his head. As the berries rained all over him, he stood there blinking his eyes to see better through the berries and gave it up. It was time to be a little kid again.

Another doe kid had discovered heat. When she was born she had this little white ring on her head making you think of a crown. I dried her off, watched her nurse, and then stood her under the heat lamp. Ahhhhh, luxury, she said. She stood with her head turned upwards towards the warmth of the heat lamp and became a heat worshipper. She had such a noble stance that she became Autumn Princess. After that she thought she had it all figured, all she had to do was point her little nose to the sky and heat would come. I saw her several times that day walking around the stall and then suddenly striking a pose, with nose pointed skyward, waiting for the heat to fall. Naturally it did because I would always go in there and place her under the heat lamp. Eventually she did learn that the heat did come from the heat lamp, not from striking a pose with nose upward.

One particularly gentle doe decided to kid at suppertime. She had very studiously been staring at the corner since 1 p.m., concentrating, gritting her teeth every now and then. Now at 4 p.m. she was starting to make nests and getting up and down. She was one of my sweeties and I took a bucket into her stall to sit on and just watch, trying to get an idea just how close was she.

The stall was getting darker with the evening hour and I had hooked up the heat lamp and itís warm welcoming light was shining in the center of the stall. I had my bucket placed in a dark corner to watch her as she lay under the hay manger. She rolled her head back and saw me and looked around the stall and very carefully got up. Cautiously, she walked over to me, lined herself up so that she could stare into the stall the way I was and started looking intently around.

Silly thing. She thought I had seen something that needed to be watched and had come over to help me. She stood 20 minutes by my side watching the stall with me. I had to laugh and give her a hug. She then went back to her hay manger and laid down and put me through torture for the next 3 hrs.

You know how the sound of nails raking over the chalkboard sound? Well, someone gritting their teeth makes me feel that way. This doe had gritted her teeth off and on since 1 p.m. and now it was continuous. I was almost rolling off that bucket in agony for the next 3 hrs. Several times I thought I was just going to start screaming and run out of the stall and around the barn a few times to let off steam. But, I controlled myself. I sat hunched on my bucket with hands over my ears keeping watch over this young girl. I thought I was going to totally lose it a few times, but the S in my middle name not only means Sue, it also means stubborn.

She kidded at 8 p.m. with a huge baby boy. No wonder she was gritting her teeth! So, now Lee and I are reminded once again what kidding is like. And, all I can say is Ö. Are we crazy?!!!!

THE END


 

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