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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
NANNY BERRIES GOAT FARMING CAMP
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmsboers.com
Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

Lately Iíve been receiving a lot of pamphlets, brochures, and advertisements on One Day Goat Seminar, one week long Goat Field Days, Three Hour Goat Nutrition Talks, and so forth. And, I started thinking it was high time I had a Nanny Berries Goat Farming Camp.

I think it should start about a day before first cutting hay season starts. And, I really should have a follow-up camp starting about a day before the second cutting hay season starts, to make it more rounded.

Living arrangements for that week or two: Bring your campers, tents, or sleeping bags. Self contained campers, tents, & sleeping bags are preferred, since no electric will be provided. So, donít forget your candles and kerosene lamps and gas cook stoves and gas refrigerators. A garden hose will be provided from our well for water and showers.

A tarp draped around a couple of bushes will provide the shower, with the above mentioned garden hose dangling above a handy tree branch. Shower as long as you want. We have plenty of water and cold well water can be quite stimulating. Bring your own towels, but I should be able to spare a bar of soap for the group.

The first day will be taken up trying to level up the campers, tents, and sleeping bags on the side of the hill. We have a large hill side so as many people that want to come, can. We will also provide various rocks, sticks, tree branches, and dirt to help level out everyoneís accommodations.

Also, on the first day, shovels, used boards, used nails and used rusty roofing will be provided for the outhouse that will be needed for the large group of people expecting to attend. I would suggest the goat campers to build a 2-4 seater since so many people will be attending and that way it will cut down on long lines. Catalogs will be provided, so no need to bring the Charmin. Handy bushes will also be available, but we do have neighbors with binoculars, so be careful where you go. Also, no visiting the brushy vegetation in the buck pen. The bucks tend to attack anything thatís large and shiny. This might be embarrassing, besides being painful.

Cost: Bring plenty of food and soft drinks. Lee and I eat a lot. If you decide to leave before the camp is over, leave the food and soft drinks.

Alcoholic beverages: No alcoholic beverages. We act pretty dingy around here anyway and no need to add fuel to the fire.

Speaking of fires, we will provide the kindling, so donít forget to bring chain saws to cut firewood for camp fires. And, while you are at it, cut a couple of truck loads for our winter firewood supply. Woods for firewood cutting will be provided. Just watch out for the bears. I know we are more generous then most in providing so much stuff, but that is our nature.

The day or two after everyone has their accommodations set up and leveled and the outhouse dug and built (I suggest people work in teams to get everything done), we will head to the hay fields to learn first hand how to put up goat hay. If it happens to rain that day or for a couple of days, we will then head to the barns to learn first hand how to clean out a winterís worth of manure. It is extremely important to also bring your own manure shovels and rakes and manure forks that, just in case, we do this. And, if the West Virginia weather holds true, we will be doing both, cleaning barns and doing hay. You just canít be more fortunate then that.

When we have that sunny hay making weather, everyone is to learn how to operate antique farm equipment. This includes walking around the fields with the baler older then everyoneís combined age, and being ready to tie each bale it forgets to tie. Which can be a lot since itís memory is not that great anymore on remembering what a hay bale really looks like.

If we donít have any mechanics in the group to repair equipment as it breaks down and the rains suddenly decide to move in, everyone be prepared to learn how to play "Stomp around the hay pole." This is where part of the group carries in hay by the forkfuls to throw around a pole in the ground while everyone else stomps it down to make a huge hay mound. That way you can go home and tell your great, great, great, grandfather you did what he use to do on the farm.

We will also study goat feed nutrition. This is where a group of you will take your vehicles and pick up a ton of goat feed I have ordered (Iíll pay you back later), bring it to the barn and the rest of you will unload it into the grain bins. I will personally read what is on the goat feed label to you to educate you further.

We will also have guest speakers one day at the Nanny Berries Goat Farming Camp. I have invited vets, goat breeders, and extension agents to come and speak. And, if we all pitch in and pay their gas bill, feed them, and bribe them with $100 each, they will show up.

The topics they will speak on are the ones they mention to me all the time. For example:

"You Must Be An Idiot To Be A Goat Farmer" by the extension agent. "Are You Crazy Giving Your Goats That?" by the vets. And, "Profit? WhatĎs that?," and "Do you want to buy a goat?" by several goat breeders in the area. Iím sure they will come up with even more enlightening subjects then the ones I mentioned up above.

And, I bet you are wondering if we will be going on any traveling field trips while you are here. If the flood washes all the hay away (donít worry, your camps are safe on the hill side, if the mudslide hasnít taken them), we will definitely be traveling around to buy hay for the goats. So, bring plenty of money and your trucks.

Well, I am as eager to meet you all as you all are eager to come. Iíll be anxiously waiting by the mailbox to receive the many requests to come to the first annual Nanny Berries Goat Farming Camp. Youíall drop by, you hear?

THE END

 

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