Current
Visitors
8
COVER PAGE
PREVIOUS
DISPLAY
 Related Articles
12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
THE GOAT FARMER SONG
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmsboers.com
Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

I donít know about the rest of you, but I like to sing or hum while Iím outside working or in the barn doing chores. I can belt out a good many oldie moldy rock songs. Sure, I donít know all the words, but the goats donít care and you can make up words for those old songs as you go along or just put in a good hum in their place. Like that old patriotic song, "American Woman", I believe by the Who. Really who cares who wrote them as long as I remember the tune part way.

In "American Woman" you have to mimic the electrical guitar that starts the song, a long wailing note. This always perks up the goats ears. Then you start belting out "American woman, stay away from me -eee. American woman, momma, leave me be-eee. I donít want your milk and crackers or your salad machines." See, what I mean about making up your own words? Youíre out in the barn, youíre in the mood to sing, and so what if you donít know the words? People within in hearing distance (all up and down the valley) have informed me that "American Woman" is not a patriotic song, itís about someone really bawling out America. Well, in my song itís patriotic and we talk a lot about milk and crackers and salad machines.

A good song that you half remember can make the work just flow along. Making up your words you donít know is easy, or just hum or grunt their place if you donít remember or canít make something up. The grunt in the song works particularly well when you are cleaning stall and throwing heavy forkfuls of manure into the manure spreader. Some songs start sounding like you are "rapping" then, really with it, man.

I am a pretty decent rapper when cleaning out stalls. The grunt of "Uh, uh-uh, uh, uh!" works out real well with the digging, lifting and throwing manure. Oh, and donít forget the pursing of the lips and blowing air out, violently vibrating the lips sound. Thatís in rapping songs a lot. In a particularly deep manure filled stall with a lot of heavy lifting involved, pick a song and try "Uh, uh-uh, uh, uh-uh!" then purse your lips and blow hard and make rude gas noises (with your lips). It really fits the occasion of stall cleaning.

And, donít get me started on spirituals. I love spiritual songs. Years ago one that I thought was a spiritual song made number one on the rock charts, "One Toke Over the Line, Sweet Jesus." Boy, I could belt that one out while outside working. Until one day a friend informed me it wasnít a spiritual. I told him he was nuts, didnít he hear Sweet Jesus in there? He then patiently informed me that a toke was a joint. I said a building? An elbow? No, no, he said, you naÔve goat farmer, itís mary jane, pot, weed. I informed him I knew no mary jane, and I definitely wouldnít be singing about pottery or worthless weeds. He finally got it into my head that some silly person wrote about drugs.

I immediately stopped the singing of that song. I didnít want a bunch of dark helicopters hovering over our farm, spot lighting and scaring the goats. The song was banned off my song charts forever. And, it had such a good swinging country flair to it, too.

Concerning songs, I did run into a problem with a name I had given a particular baby doe. I named her Maria. I was in a Spanish/Mexican frame of mind one day (West Virginians tend to do this), maybe it was after that burrito lunch I just had, and named twin girls Maria and Conswella. I know, I know, Conswella is not spelled right, but after all Iím a West Virginian, what do I know about Spanish/Mexican names? We have names like Bubba, Billy Bob, or Ernest T. and that includes the women.

There was a country song called "Maria" put out by two guys and it goes "Mariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ah. Maria, I love you." You have to put a real squealing yodel on that Maria, or at least thatís what it sounds like when I do it, and really the "I" in Maria sounds like a very long "eeeeee" and I love singing it out in the open air. I can really squeal that song good. The goats always perk their ears to attention, and this is something when you see long eared Boers doing this, and they walk very carefully around me. I only know several words to that song, okay, only 3-4 words really, but, I love it. Every time I say the little doeís name I have to start squealing, I mean singing, it. Lee seems to always find something else to do on the other side of the farm when I start this and doesnít realize what a fun song it is.

And, cowboy songs, I love a good cowboy songs. Even rock groups must dream of being cowboys every now and then. One popular rock cowboy song went "I want to be a cowboy baby." Which really stumped me for a while. Why would anyone want to be a cowboy baby? What can a cowboy baby do, except wear cute little cowboy hats and boots, wear cute little red kerchiefs around their necks to double as a bib and have little horsies on their diaper? A cowboy baby canít rope, or ride, at least not able to break a bronc, and his steak and beans would have to pureed so he wouldnít get choked. So, why would a rock group want to be a cowboy baby?

Then it hit me, the rock group has actually saying, "I want to be a cowboy, baby." That comma can be very important in a sentence. And, one of these days I hope to learn how to use them. But, that rock cowboy song was a good one. Then another thought hit me, two in one day - country air and manure fumes can do that to you, why donít we have any goat farmer songs? Hey, we do exciting things, too.

All of us may not saddle up and ride out on the range, we just might do a good sturdy walk or climb onto the ATV. And, we might not rope those little doggies. The livestock guard dogs really hate that and they can drag you a good ways, too, before your husband comes to rescue you.

And, we donít usually have lonesome prairies in the east where you can see for miles and miles. You can only look a few feet here before your eyes bump up against a hill side or an awful lot of trees and bushes.

So, I figure this is how our goat farmer song could go, "I want to be a goat farmer, baaaa-beeee. Walking my farm or riding my ATV. Countiní the heads of little goaties and kiddies, dodging the olí rank buck because Iím in his territoreeeeeeeee. I want to be a goat farmer, baaaa-beee." Iím sure it will be a hit.

THE END

 

DISCLAIMER

GoatGateway.com and it's agents and sponsors are not responsible for the content of advertisers' sites or advertised claims.

GoatGateway.com does not act as an agent for buyers or sellers. GoatGateway.com does not in any way influence or control transactions for goods or services between buyers and sellers.

USE

Information on this web site is offered by persons who are NOT veterinary professionals except where noted.
The information contained on this web site is based on the knowledge and understanding of the author at the time of first publication. However, because of advances in agriculture related fields, users are reminded of their personal responsibility to ensure that information upon which they rely is up to date and to CHECK accuracy and currency of the information WITH YOUR VETERINARIAN for specific health and nutrition advice.

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL
Users of medical and chemical products must always read the label and strictly comply with directions on the label. Users are not absolved from compliance with the directions on the label by reason of any statement made, or omitted to be made, on this web site.

TRADEMARKS

The boergoats.com logo is a registered trademark of KLS Boer Goats.
The following are trademarks or service marks of KLS Boer Goats.

OnLine Show
GoatGateway
BoerGoats.com
MeatGoats.com
GoatClassifieds
ShowMeatGoats
ShowWethers.net
BoerGoat101.com
GoatBreeders.com
BoerGoats.comCHAT
The Show Wether Center
Where The Bucks Meet The Bucks
The Boer & Meat Goat Information Center