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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
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GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
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HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
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HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
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I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
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JUST 1 MORE GOAT
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LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
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M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
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MR. SNUFFY
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MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
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NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
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PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
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PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
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PLOP
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PRESENTS
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PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
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PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
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SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
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SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
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SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
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UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
COUNTING
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmsboers.com
Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

I donít know about you, but I learned to count at an early age. My first experience with numbers was with my mom. I remember her saying something like, "If you donít stop what you are doing by the time I count to 5, youíll wish you had!" I learned very quickly to count with her and make sure I had stopped whatever I was doing by the number 5. Most mothers would have given you until the number 10, but mom firmly believed her children could learn faster then that, and she was right. Personally, I think if she really wanted us to be good in math, she should have counted to 50 or 100. We would have learned all our numbers much faster. But, I guess she had other things to do then standing there counting to 100.

So, what has this got to do with goats? Why, youíve got to count them at some time and if you havenít learned your numbers at your motherís knee (in my case, over my motherís knee) or in school, you are in serious trouble when you get goats. People will ask you how many kids did one of your does have and you will be totally bamboozled how to respond. The best you can do is hold up two fingers or three fingers or possibly more. Itís embarrassing for an adult to do this.

So, by the time we buy our goat herd, we all can basically count them. Or, can we? I have a friend whose got a sharp wit to her. Sheís so sharp, I bet she goes around counting her goats all the time. But, she likes to give me a good ribbing when she asks me to count mine.

I have found that counting goats is not a definite science. She really needs to understand this. Sure, itís definite when you are selling goats. Someone who calls up and wanting 4 goats, doesnít want to show up and have you standing there with one goat or 20 goats, they want 4 exactly. So, in selling you do have to be a little definite, but not necessarily definite the rest of the time.

For instance, what if you have a spouse that has put a limited number on how many goats you are allowed to have. You can have either a definite count to hand over to that spouse or you can have a vague count.

For example, one year Lee said I really shouldnít have over 30 goats to take care of. At the end of that year, as he was helping me feed, he asked if we had 30 goats. Because he noticed I had a herd in one field, a herd in another field, a herd on the hill. I said, yep, I had thirty goats, but he didnít hear me say under my breath, "at least."

Now, my friend complains and kids me all at the same time. She says that when she comes to our farm to buy some goats, here I have this huge number of goats behind me and I point out two or three that she can buy, if she wants. She says I say, "You can have those two, but all of these are mine." She wants more and I wonít sell them! She wants a big herd of Boers. But, she is one of the unfortunate ones who has a spouse that actually goes out and counts her goats and he wants a definite count. He has put a limit on their goat herd, a definite limit. One year she actually went over that limit by two and she told me that she was going to tell him that Connie had taught her how to count goats, thus getting out of hot water.

She also had some comments about my website. "Just as I thought, I went to your sale page and you didnít have one goat for sale!" The best I could do was cackle, "Their mine, they are all mine."

When she did drop by this spring to pick up a big purebred doe and had brought a friend along to help, they both asked how many goats I had now. I had sold a lot of kids and adult goats that spring and I honestly told them I had sixty left. When I mentioned this to Lee, he went out and counted them and came in to announce that I had exactly 82. It seems I had forgot about the full blood girls in with the buck to be bred and a couple of mothers and kids to the back of the barn.

I suppose I must think of the goats like a bakerís dozen, only I have a goat farmerís dozen. The bakerís dozen is thirteen, not twelve. My goat farmerís dozen is like twenty or so. And, I am trying to figure out some way I can blame my mom who would only count to five, which is what I learned as a definite count real fast, instead of the 100 I wanted her to count. If she had definitely counted to one hundred, then I could definitely count my goats up to a hundred. No, I guess that wonít work, particularly if she reads this article.

So, now you know when I say I have 70-100 goats, itís more like 70 (well, where did those others come from?!) to 100 ish, give or take a goat farmerís dozen.

THE END

 

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