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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
ROAD TRIP 2003
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmsboers.com
Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

Lee calls it our Vacation 2003, but since it lasted from Monday at 10:30 a.m. to Tuesday (next day) until 6 p.m., I doubt it qualifies as a vacation. I was able to trick, er, talk my extremely kind and big hearted (in case she reads this) sister into farm sitting for us for that length of time. Sheís a nurse and knows her way around needles if a goat gets sick.

I had planned this road trip really about two years ago. On a trip to Florida to visit relatives, we had stopped off at Misery Farm in SC to visit Jerriann and Prentis McDonald and pick up a Boer buck kid with Bodacious Hunk bloodlines. And, donít ask me why they call their farm Misery Farm. A lot of times Iím tempted to change the name of our farm to Tired Acres or Empty Pockets or Will It Never End Farm. We get a lot of teasing about the name or our farm, Autumn Farm. Wannabe comedians ask what we do the rest of the year. I tell them not to quit their day job.

I have heard the rumor that Jerriann and Prentis use to take in and care for abused horses and their vet once said they had brought in some miserable looking animals to take care of and thatís what they decided to name their farm, Misery Farm. But, it might just be a name they picked for themselves after a long, tiring kidding season, because they do have a lot of goats.

Anyway, I knew that I would be needing some new bloodlines in the future and I figured that Jerriann and Prentis would be bringing some in that I could use. So, I schemed and planned and started saving my quarters, because in two years I should have saved up a lot of quarters, to buy a new baby buck with brand spanking new bloodlines to try on my does.

Finally the time had come and I emailed Jerriann and after a series of pictures were sent, the choice was made. I was getting a baby buck with something called Eggs in him. Sounded strange but it must not hurt him because he looked a dandy. After that I noticed a lot of other goats around with Eggs in them and they seemed to be staying healthy, so it was settled.

A thought kept niggling at my brain. If I am going that far, why not ask for a baby doe and see what she has that we can use. I know, I know. I already have 20 full blood does and 62 purebred and high percentage does, what did I need with another doe? Why, to try out different bloodlines, silly. I checked it out with Lee and he thought it a great idea and there would be room for her in another cage in our van.

Almost as soon as I had emailed my request, I got a call from Prentis. "Have I got a doe for you. Sheís an ex-bottle baby and sheís a nuisance. Sheís always underfoot. I canít stand bottle babies, always in the way. You canít work without them being right there. I like a goat to be stand offish." That Prentis is a real salesman.

Being very wise in the buying and selling of goats and with years of experience in always trying to get a better deal, I gushed, "I LOVE bottle babies. I ADORE bottle babies. They always trust you and you can always catch them." All Lee can do is shake his head when I do things like this.

"Oh, really?" Prentis said. "In that case, I have three others, still on the bottle. Let me send pictures and their bloodlines and you take your pick."

I donít think anything came as sizzling fast over the internet as those pictures, bloodlines, and prices. They were adorable. How can you not love bottle babies?

I got another phone call. "Well, which one do you want? If you want them." Prentis asked, I heard Jerriann in the background hollering to remind him to tell me of who the kids daddies and moms were. He relayed the message. She then hollered in the background when their shots and wormings were. He relayed that. I learned real fast to listen to Prentis and the floating voice of Jerriann in the background. "I want them all," I said.

There was silence over the phone. "Really?" Hope and visions of no bottle babies in his near future came through the phone line.

Thatís how I ended up buying 4 bottle baby does, one not bottle baby doe (I had to have her), and the buck we had originally asked for.

Lee called me from work. "Well, howís the goat buying coming along?"

"I got them all."

He never missed a beat. Iíll say this for Lee, he can always land on his feet. Married to me for 29 years, heís got to know me and expects anything. "Well, the van is out. Canít haul that many cages. Weíll take the farm truck and find a topper for it." In less then two seconds flat he had accepted and adjusted and made plans for the new kids. Spouses of goat farmers have to be very adaptable.

Next was finding a truck topper. We soon learned that a cab level aluminum topper started at $600! Wow. Now itís time to check the used topper list. We finally found one, aluminum, tall and sloped for $75. A friend said, "But itís red." Our truck is pewter colored. I said so what. Itís $75 and the red will match the tail lights.

Lee then start cutting hog panels and putting up the cut sections across the windows and the back of the truck. Any bouncing kids would not accidentally bounce on out of the truck this way and we could have good air flow from windows and the topper back being open. He also got a rubber truck mat so the floor wouldnít be slippery for the babies. The truck would be heavily bedded down with good hay, but they still would slide around if they didnít have a mat underneath the hay.

I told Lee the trip was at least 9 hours one way and I did not think we should try to make it all in one day, but divide it up to sleep over at a motel, then drive in to Jerriann and Prentisís place early morning, especially since we thought we wouldnít be able to leave until the middle of the day from our farm.

Lee got on the internet and fixed us up with a room at a motel part way down the trip. Jerriann said to come on down and stay with them, but I didnít think we would be able to make it that far. Next, was the packing. Riding in a single cab truck leaves very little room for suitcases behind the seat.

Lee came in that night and found me packing a garbage bag. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Iím packing our overnight suitcase," I said.

"Thatís a garbage bag. We are possibly going to have to walk through a motel lobby. Do you really want to carry a garbage sack for your clothes? Iím taking my college backpack for my clothes," he says proudly.

Iím not sure, but I think his college backpack is older then both of our ages combined. At least, it looked that old. "You can put your stuff in my backpack," he said generously.

I continued packing my garbage bag. "What are you doing now?" he asks.

"Iím packing my backpack. If you can call that poor olí thing a backpack, Iíll call my garbage bag a backpack. Besides, there isnít enough room for my things with your things." Everyone knows you need at least 4 changes of clothing on an overnight trip. The places we go, who knows what you are going to fall in and repeatedly.

We loaded the cage for the baby buck in the truck, bedded down the truck with hay, and loaded our nice and squishy "backpacks" behind the truck seat and we were on our way. Things went better then we had planned. We finally got too tired to go any farther and about 45 minutes from Jerriann & Prentisís place we stopped at the motel. Not for long! Talk about dirty rooms. It must have been the maidís year off. We looked over two rooms there and said forget it. Weíre not that tired and headed on down the road.

We were stuck, it was too late to pull in and tell Jerriann that we were going to take her up on her room offer. I can be an inconsiderate person, but not that inconsiderate. Pulling into Santee, we saw a Best Western and signed in. The rooms were super clean. What a relief! I thought I had better call Jerriann and Prentis and tell them we had made it. They immediately insisted on us to come on out and visit and look at goats. Late or not, off we went. They were tickled to death to see us and out we charged to look through the goats.

I checked out our bottle babies. They were so glad to see us. Of course, bottle babies are glad to see anyone because everyone is carrying a potential bottle to them. We saw our baby buck. What a handsome fellow. Prentis said he wasnít very friendly. I sort of noticed that when the buck stayed way far away from us and was trying to hide behind a pole. After the visit, we headed back to the motel. We were to be back at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow to pick up the goats.

Morning came early and after a breakfast at McDonaldís restaurant, we drove straight to Misery farm. We collected up the paperwork from Jerriann, gave Prentis the money, and off we went to collect goats. Naturally, the bottle babies were eager to go. To their way of thinking, there is always a chance of a bottle around the next corner. The young buck was tackled by Lee and carried protesting to his cage. Lee was doing the protesting from the buckís heavy weight, the buck just seemed mesmerized in terror. The young doe kid that was not a bottle kid was nabbed and put in the truck.

So, now we had the buck in his cage and the girls running around the truck bed in the deep hay, the bottle girls immediately settled down to play in the hay, which settled the buck and the non bottle kid down. The hog panels were tied in place so the back of the topper could be left open for air in the hot southern temps.

Oddly enough, it was one of the most uneventful trips we have ever taken. Usually, something odd happens at varies times, but things went smoothly. It was the same-o same-o when hauling goats. You stop at rest stops and run to the back of the truck to check on the goats and in the process, pick up a crowd of people who run to the back to check on the goats with you. Nothing draws people like baby goats.

You stop to buy gas and the people on all the other gas pumps stand there and smile big time looking at the baby goats, nodding to you, laughing at the bottle babies running up to check and see if anyone had a bottle. Stop at another rest stop and you and a crowd of people run to the back of the truck to check on the baby goats. This went on for 9 hours until we got home. Talk about creating good will while you travel, those kids could do it.

Road Trip 2003 went great. Saw good friends, bought good goats, made good friends along the way and all because of some little baby goats. Yeah, being a goat farmer is great.

THE END

 

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