Oh, duct tape, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
As a goat farmer things are always falling aparteth,
But you, oh duct tape, holdeth my broken parts together.
When the cranked out window on our goat hauling camper
Refuses to stay cranked openeth,
I can count on you, oh duct tape, to tape it open.
If I accidentally rip a hole in a full feed sack,
You, oh miracle of tapes, tapeth the hole shut,
And no feed spilleth.
No rain falleth on me, oh great duct tape.
Where I ripped my barn rain coat while climbing over
A fence, you repaireth it.
When my rain hat cover started falling apart on my
Cowboy hat, you tappedeth it back together.
Sure, it looks a little strange, but no rain toucheth
This ol’ hard working head.
My feeteth never have to fear wetness,
As long as you are there.
A hole ineth the barn boots is quickly repaired
And my feet are always dryeth.
Except for thateth one time when a doe squatted
And wee-weed downeth my boot while I was
Standing there, but you didn’t fail, none escapedeth.
You even saveth my goats, you masterful tape.
When the horned ones keep getting their heads
Stucketh in all the tight places or keep attacking
With those horned weapons,
Taping a piece of black water pipe acrosseth the horns
Quickly stops alleth head stucking and horn ripping.
You maketh my goats beautiful, oh handy tape.
When the babes are born with folded upeth ears,
A little piece of you straightens those ears.
If my down coat springs a leak and feathers
Are a flyingeth,
You are there, oh wonderful duct tape, to
Patcheth the hole and keep me warm.
And if the watering hose suddenlyeth springs a leak,
A quick dry and some solid taping sooneth puts it
Back into commission againeth, oh great hose fixer.
Whateth is this, my husband, Lee, has justeth handed me?
Why it’s a special bonus packageth of duct tape,
Buy one get two freeth!
And Lee says it is alleth mine if I will only please
Stop adding "eth" after words!
Oh, Leeth, I mean, Lee. How do I love thee!
But, you only bought one bonus package?
