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  • Don't name a pig, goat or steer you plan to eat.
  • Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, bull strong and waterproof (for goats).
  • Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
  • Keep your distance from skunks, bucks in rut and bankers.
  • Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
  • Mortgaging a future crop is like saddling a wobbly colt.
  • A bumblebee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
  • Trouble with a milk goat is that she won't stay milked.
  • Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
  • Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
  • Meanness don't happen overnight.
  • To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
  • Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.
  • Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
  • Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
  • Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
  • Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat.
  • Never corner something meaner than you.
  • It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
  • Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
  • You can't unsay a cruel thing.
  • Every path has some puddles.
  • When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
  • The best sermons are lived, not preached.
  • Most of the stuff people worry about happening, don't.
  • Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters.


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