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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
HELPING HOOVES
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmsboers.com
Connie Reynolds
Autumn Farm
Ravenswood, WV

I sincerely think goats mean to be helpful, just sometimes something gets lost in the process. I should say most tame goats want to be helpful, the wild ones prefer you stay in one county and they in another. A few wild ones are even antagonistic and if they could put a hit on you, they would. I mean hire someone else to take you out, not them. They couldnít bare to touch you. Some of the wild ones are simply terrified of you, thinking you are the biggest, baddest booger they have ever seen. But, those tame or semi-tame ones are always looking for ways to be helpful.

Take for example the other day. I have a young doe in a kidding stall with her two kids. This makeshift kidding stall happens to have a large manger type hay feeder in it for horses. It is nailed to the wall, two foot off the ground so rats canít find a neat place to hide. To keep baby kids from hiding under the wooden horse hay manger and to cut down on drafts, we nailed up thick cardboard all around the bottom of the manger. Oddly enough, the goats leave this cardboard alone.

One day I hear this muffled calling of a kid. I go into this particular kidding stall and there is the doe and just one kid, the other kid is missing. I check the other kidding stalls and heís not in any of them and then I hear him. Somehow, when he and his brother were curled up against the cardboard and then mom laid down, she accidentally pushed the missing guy under the cardboard to the underside of the manger area and the flap closed back and he couldnít get out. It took me a while to figure how he got into an enclosed place. It was like an Agatha Christie who-done-it mystery involving locked doors, er, cardboard.

The cardboard was too thick for my little knife to cut a hole for him to crawl out through and I couldnít just ripe this thick cardboard off, it was nailed on tight. So, I got down on my knees and started digging the hay bedding away from the cardboard until I got to the bottom. While I was doing this, the young doe got down on her knees, with rump up in the air, beside me and talked to the kid and me, giving us both encouragement that we could do it and he was going to make it just fine. She would even turn her head and look me full in the face, while she was on her knees, making encouraging noises to me like, "You can do it. Weíve almost got him. Keep up the good work."

As soon as I found the corner of the stiff cardboard and bowed it outward, lifting it a few inches from the floor, the little kid came crawling out, digging in with his little knees or all he was worth, and got out from under the manger that had him trapped. It was a wonderful reunion of mom and son and brother and brother and a great celebration of nursing soon followed, with the mom happily thanking me for finding her long lost son.

An artic snap set in for over two weeks and I wouldnít turn the new moms and kids out of the main barn yet to their run-in sheds. One chilly morning I heard a doe making mournful sounds. I went to that same stall and there stood the doe, but both kids were missing. I didnít bother to check the other kidding stalls. I got down on my knees again and started digging the hay bedding away to get to the corner of the cardboard to lift up. The doe stood there giving me encouragement, the kids started crying out for me to hurry, that it was dark in there, and when I lifted the corner a few inches, mom wanted to make sure it was her kids. She hurriedly got down on her front knees and poked her head through the opening I had made and called and then hurriedly backed out because two kids were trying to crawl over her head to get out. Once again another happy reunion followed.

That night Lee cut out a hole in the cardboard with a flap like a doggie door. That way the kids could still be protected from outside drafts, but could also get out if they got rolled under the cardboard. We did run into one snag when Lee found the mom with her head through the doggie door like hole and thought she couldnít get it back out, so Lee had to make the doggie door a bit bigger and that worked.

But, the whole time the doe did her best to help in this, as she saw it, desperate situation involving missing kids. And, usually thatís the way tame goats are, always trying to be helpful.

Say, for instance, you are trying to build something in the goat barn or pen. You will always have a bunch of tame goats hanging around trying to give you a hand, er, hoof. Theyíll try to pick up your hammer for you, try to hand you the nail can or nail bag. Or, thinking the nail bag would be better at the other end of the barn, carry it down there. Walk on any boards you are trying to measure out and cut, just to make sure the board is strong enough or the right length for their goat barn.

You do have to watch out for a few kleptomaniacs who like to steal things. They are usually the younger kids, not fully understanding that stealing is wrong. You lie down your coat or your work gloves and when you go to get them, they arenít there. They are out in the middle of the field and not a goat in sight. You know your belongings didnít walk out there by themselves.

We still have some tools missing from trying to build on the goat barn with the goats helping. Iím sure they just took them to polish them up and just forgot to bring them back. Tame goats just really want to be helpful and they try so hard. Itís just that I really miss my spare winter coat and gloves. And, that one hammer was one that Lee got me for our anniversary. Maybe if I explain it all to them, the goats will help me go out in the fields and look for them. Or, if I lay down another hammer, I can follow the one that picks it up and find all my missing things. Whatever. Goats really just want to help.

THE END

 

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