Do you know the best way to settle down an angry goat farmer? Compliment them on their goats. Brag on those goats. And, soon troubled waters are smoothed over and you can work out whatever problem you are having with that goat farmer in a civilized fashion.

For example, the other day we decided that we really needed a tooth bar on the bucket of our front end loader of our Kubota tractor. Lee called up and put an order in for a tooth bar at a farm parts store and they said they would get it and put it on for us. This handy dandy gadget actually looks like a bar with gaping big teeth sticking out and can be bolted onto your bucket. The tooth bar aids in picking up manure that has a lot of bedding hay in it. Picks it up slicker then a whistle and doesn’t get bogged down.

It’s great for cleaning out all those run-in sheds and big open barns, particularly if some of the sheds haven’t been cleaned out in a year or two and hay bedding has just been added on top quite regularly.

Since we have an easily detachable bucket, Lee said for me to tell the store they wouldn’t need the tractor, but could just pick the bucket up to put the tooth bar on. The tooth bar came in and the mechanic called to say he was on his way out to pick up the tractor to bring in and put the tooth bar on the bucket. I said he could just pick the bucket up and it would save him towing a trailer and also leave us with the tractor to use. He insisted he had to pick up the tractor. I insisted that he could just pick up the quick release bucket. This disagreement went on for a few minutes over the phone and when he saw I wasn’t going to back down, he grumpily agreed he would just pick up the quick release bucket.

Not being far from us, he charged out in a great hurry and proceeded to treat me like I was born without a brain. I showed him where the tractor was, he drove to the barn and even though the water hose was out of the way, he drove over it, backed again to make sure he had hit it, and then parked on it. My patience was wearing thin and I was feeling a slow boil starting to happen.

He got out of the truck and you could tell he was greatly annoyed with me for disagreeing with him. He uses the tractor to set the bucket in the back of his truck, uses the quick release, and faster then a dose of salts, the bucket is sitting in the back of his truck.

He was still acting cantankerous and I could feel my hackles rising even more and then suddenly he looks around. For the first time he notices the one field of yearling Boer does on one side of the barn and on the other side he sees Jan. kids running around and coming up to the gate to be petted.

He said, "What beautiful goats."

Instantly all antagonism melted away between us. I decided that this was indeed a wise and intelligent person. Then, he just had to go and pet the babies and brag on them and by the time he left we were the best of friends and he was going to bring his wife out to see the beautiful goats and let her pet them.

So, if you want to sooth an angry goat farmer, brag on their goats. Unless, of course, you are that person who called up, knowing we had livestock guard dogs to protect our goats from predators, who said he bet his Rottweilers could kill our dogs.

That fellow sure wasn’t expecting what he got next, one of the worse tongue lashings a fellow could get from an enraged goat farmer. To even think of such a thing against honorable working dogs who would give their lives for their goats, dogs patiently doing their job no matter what.

No, the only way to soothe this goat farmer after saying something like that is possibly getting down on his knees and walking the length of the driveway, repeatedly shouting, "I’m sorry I’m an idiot!"

Sorry, folks, had a slight temper flare up there. But, basically, brag on that goat farmer’s goats and all will go well. But, if you have enraged a goat farmer, you might consider walking up the driveway on your knees, shouting, "I’m sorry I’m an idiot!" That might work, too.