I’ve noticed something over the last several months with both local and national elections, politicians saying an odd thing. And, it doesn’t matter if they are running for dog catcher or the highest offices in the land. After the end of their message, they give their name and then look deep into our eyes, say "I approve this message."
Well, good grief, if they said it I hoped they meant what they said and of course would approve what they were saying and weren’t just trying out new words and hoping to look up their meaning later. I mean, if I am talking to someone, I don’t have to say afterwards, "And, I approve what I just said." But, it looks like now a days, if we say something, we’d better finish with, "And, I approve this message."
Okay, so here goes:
"Hello, I’m running to be a Nanny Berry and I want you to know that I will take good care of my goats. I will keep them on a regular vaccination and worming program and I will make sure the best available food is always offered them. And, I want you to know I am approving of everything I am saying.
I also promise to go out and check on the goats to make sure they are all right whether it is raining or snowing or blowing or burning hot or freezing cold. In other words, if I am truly miserable, then I know I am doing my job. Oh, and I approve the two previous sentences.
I will continue to be responsible for my goats and not let them out into the neighbors’ garden or crops or to play all over his new car. My fences will somehow hold my goats in. And, not only will they hold my goats in, but I will protect my goats from anything that might harm them. Whether it is a bear, dogs, coyotes, or small children what want to hug them until their eyes bug out, it is my responsibility to protect my herd.
And, if I am elected a Nanny Berry, during kidding season I will keep an eye on the herd so the does will be safe to kid and the kids will have a fighting chance. And, if it is winter when I decide to kid, then I will be responsible and freeze my behind off to constantly check on the does, make sure they are housed in warm places, and the kids have a warm spot to get started in at the beginning of their little winter lives.
In being a said Nanny Berry, I will also be truthful and honest to all buyers and help them to raise healthy goats, if they desire the help. And, if any future buyers come calling and get irritated at a friendly bottle baby and slap or kick it in my presence, then Katie Bar The Door, no one harms a goat in front of me. Rest assured, I approve what I last said.
And, as a Nanny Berry, I will remember during kidding to always check the newly kidded doe’s udder to make sure she is not getting mastitis from too much milk or if all the kids are nursing just one side. I will not care if she hops up and down when I check the udder for heat or hardness and starts screaming, "Pervert," at me, but will do my duty and make sure that udder stays healthy for the kids and for her. She may not approve this message, but I do.
I also do promised to check new kids behinds to make sure they are not getting plugged up from pigging out on too much of rich mommy milk. I will also keep diaper wipes on hand to clean off all kids hiney milk plugs and yellow milk diarrhea to keep the kids healthy. And, if I am out of unscented diaper wipes, I will stick the kid’s rump out of the kidding stall door for our old dog, Alice, to clean up. She loves cleaning up milk poo off kids rumps. Oh, yes, Alice approves this message.
If elected a Nanny Berry, I will walk among the herd and check on all goats at least twice daily, if not more. If anyone is looking droopy, I will check on the goat, and worm immediately for starters. Besides walking to check on the goats for their health, I will do it for my health, both mental and physical. Physical, it gives me much needed exercise, mentally, I find hugging a goat puts me in a better frame of mind to handle the work of being a Nanny Berry.
So, this is a Nanny Berry, seeking to continue to be a Nanny Berry and I approve this message.