Current
Visitors
19
COVER PAGE
PREVIOUS
DISPLAY
 Related Articles
12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
And Another DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmsboers.com
Ravenswood, WV

Once again Iíve let the excitement and the adventure of being a goat farmer make me late in my letter writing to my relatives. So, Iím sending out another type of "form" letter, not farm letter, but "form" letter and sending it to all the relatives to make them feel special. Dear Favorite Relative,

I am so sorry that I have let the adventure of being a goat farmer keep me out of touch with you. So, taking pen in hand, I am sending this very personal letter just to you.

As you have come to realize over the years, January is a very exciting month. Usually the first week or two has to do with kidding. And, kidding in these cold northern temperatures is taking farming to the extreme. But, with the help of our faithful old barn and plenty of heat lamps, all kids were born safe and warm.

And the girls were particularly kind this kidding season. They would start kidding at 4:30 a.m. and cut off all kidding by 11:30 p.m. Canít get more considerate then that on us two old goat farmers. We also had a running joke going, if we wanted a doe to kid, we just went up to fix up a meal at the house, and as soon as it was sitting on the table and we were ready to dig in, one or more of the does would start kidding!! Every meal they did this for an entire week. It just goes to show these does have a good sense of humor.

February is always interesting. The first part of it is taken up with a goat farmerís birthday, mine! Mom and dad thought they would take me out for a birthday lunch to celebrate my youthful fifty-three years of being on this earth. They thought the Golden Corral would be an excellent place for a birthday lunch celebration and evidently the cashier thought so too. Not only did she give mom & dad a senior citizen discount, but gave me one too! I thought it high time I started saving some money on my age and vast experience. Glad the young cashier thought so too.

Next in line for February was the dermatologist. After so many years farming and having the sun bake me into looking like a crispy critter, the dermatologist has to keep a constant look out for sun boo booís on my skin. He had never seen me in winter and was appalled at the appearance of my hands. Winter farming is never easy on hands. The constant cold, wetness, cleaning out water buckets, handling rough equipment can keep the hands a rough, red, split mess.

The dermatologist asked how on earth I could work with such sore looking hands. I told him it helped to say "Ouch" and keep on working. Work donít stop just because your hands are chapped and cracked. He told me to super glue the cracks and start using a lotion with a Norwegian formula in it. Evidently this lotion was made for those Norwegian fishermen having to handle salty fish in the really cold north. I thought if those rough tough fishermen could carry around and actually use lotion on their hands, then I could too. It takes a real man to carry little tubes of hand lotion in his pockets.

And, naturally, this time of the winter what do we usually start running out of? Thatís right, hay. No matter how much I figure it, the goats always seem to be able to eat more hay then I figured they would. So, last weekend found us on the road with our big flat bed trailer hunting hay for sale.

We surprised ourselves and found some hay just over the hill from us. I donít know if you all realize this, but West Virginia is made up of hills, and a few good mountains. And, unbeknownst to us, it seems we have a mountain right behind us. Now, we always thought it was just a hill, but we never tried to bring a load of hay over it before.

Full of confidence and faith that we would return, we started up that hill. The farm on the other side had thousand pound round bales and 45 pound square bales for sale on the other side. We could use both. We took our big truck and big flat bed trailer on that teeny tiny road and one third of the way there, a sign was put up beside the road informing us that from here on out we would be on a one lane road. Well, what had we been on before!! Letís just say their idea of one lane was my idea of a ground hog trail.

Up that hill we went on their "one lane road" and so help me, before we got to the top of that long and winding road whose edge kept caving away out in space, my ears popped from the altitude. Now folks, we have hills around here. Ears donít pop on no hill, this had to be a mountain. We finally got to the top and started our slow path down the other side to the farm in a beautiful valley.

We quickly loaded up 6 of those thousand pound round bales and sixty some of those 45 pound square bales and headed for home. We didnít want to get caught on that mountain after dark. Half way up that mountain, the road tilted with a dip at the edge. Our trailer tires caught it just right and I heard Lee holler, "Weíve lost a round bale! Did you see any others fall off?"

I quickly looked in the mirror, forgetting about the little warning that all objects appear larger then they actually are, and shouted, "Holey Moley!! Four big round bales are sitting in the road right behind us!"

Lee shouted back, "Well, Iím glad they are just sitting there. The first one bounced on over the hill. Hope there wasnít a house in itís path!!"

"Me, too!!" I shouted back. Even though we were sitting side by side in the truckís cab and there was no need to raised your voice, it just seemed the occasion called for a lot of shouting.

Fortunately, the road at that point had a touch of land still attached to it and Lee was able to pull the truck and trailer slightly off the road. We both leaped out to see how much hay we had lost and if we had flattened anyone in losing it. Right behind the trailer on my side were 3-4 small square bales sitting in the road. The side mirror made those little square bales look huge, so I had thought they were thousand pound round bales sitting in the road. Car manufacturers must think its a great laugh to do this to drivers, put on carnival mirrors for our side mirrors. But, this time I was thankful those bales werenít the huge round bales.

One round bale was long gone. Fortunately no homes were on that side of the mountain for it to roll over. Lee tightened the load back down and we proceeded very cautiously home. So now we are set with some hay in case the next snow storm hits soon, so donít worry about us, Favorite Relative.

Well, I must close and go do the feeding. I did super glue the cracks in my fingers, but if you should ever try this, remember to keep your fingers spread apart until the super glue dries. Fortunately for me, I do have some mittens around here someplace to put on until my fingers become separate again.

With lots of love,
Your Favorite Goat Farmer Relative

THE END

 

DISCLAIMER

GoatGateway.com and it's agents and sponsors are not responsible for the content of advertisers' sites or advertised claims.

GoatGateway.com does not act as an agent for buyers or sellers. GoatGateway.com does not in any way influence or control transactions for goods or services between buyers and sellers.

USE

Information on this web site is offered by persons who are NOT veterinary professionals except where noted.
The information contained on this web site is based on the knowledge and understanding of the author at the time of first publication. However, because of advances in agriculture related fields, users are reminded of their personal responsibility to ensure that information upon which they rely is up to date and to CHECK accuracy and currency of the information WITH YOUR VETERINARIAN for specific health and nutrition advice.

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL
Users of medical and chemical products must always read the label and strictly comply with directions on the label. Users are not absolved from compliance with the directions on the label by reason of any statement made, or omitted to be made, on this web site.

TRADEMARKS

The boergoats.com logo is a registered trademark of KLS Boer Goats.
The following are trademarks or service marks of KLS Boer Goats.

OnLine Show
GoatGateway
BoerGoats.com
MeatGoats.com
GoatClassifieds
ShowMeatGoats
ShowWethers.net
BoerGoat101.com
GoatBreeders.com
BoerGoats.comCHAT
The Show Wether Center
Where The Bucks Meet The Bucks
The Boer & Meat Goat Information Center