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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
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GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
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I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
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KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
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M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
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PLOP
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PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
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SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
POOF! POOF!
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmboers.com
Ravenswood, WV

Goats can be smart little creatures in their own way. They keep constantly trying to figure out ways to beat the "system". Sounds sort of like people, doesnít it? Take for instance an older Angora doe we have here. We raised her on our place and she thinks she has us figured. The other day it was time to worm her. Having been with us a while, she keeps on the alert for this quirk in our nature that makes us want to worm goats.

You have to be particularly crafty to catch her and finally we did. As Lee held onto those huge horns of hers, I bent over with the drench gun to put the nozzle in her mouth, I heard "Poof! Poof!" and warm air blowing in my face strong enough to blow my hair out of the way. What on earth?

Anna the Angora was poofing at me, blowing hard, in case any of that drench got into her mouth, she could quickly spit it out. I got so tickled it took me a few minutes to get the drench gun in her mouth and worm her. What an old smarty.

A lot of the other goats are the same way about watching us and studying us. If both Lee and I go walking in the herd, they go on the alert. Two means danger, means business, so they send the buzz out to keep an eye on us. One of us go out into the herd, they are all relaxed, coming up to say "Howdy" and to get a scratching. The only ones who donít go on the alert are the bottle raised goats, they continue to think we are wonderful, no matter what. Thatís one reason I donít complain too much when I have to bottle raise some kids. They are a more forgiving goat when it comes to shots, wormings, hoof trimming, etc.

Now there are a couple who stay on the alert even if there is just one of us walking in the herd. One in particular is Priscilla the Boer, the first full blood doe we bought years ago. Sheís tougher then nails and meaner then a snake and smart to boot. She had decided long ago that Lee and I were a couple of no-goods that needed to be constantly watched. When itís time for her to kid, we keep her penned up and make sure we tame her kids before we turn them out or weíd never get a chance to see them. It humiliates her to no end that we tame her kids and that they love us to hug them. She has to stand and watch that because she wonít run off from her kids.

With some goats when you go out in the herd they look for places to hide. Theyíll even try to hide behind their goat buddies so we canít see them, peeking out every now and then to see where we are at. Unfortunately for them, they never take into figuring on the size of the buddy they are trying to hide behind. Quite often you see this really tall goat zip around and get behind another goat, not noticing that the one they are hiding behind is quite a bit smaller then them and they stand out like a sore thumb. They have their head ducked down low behind their really short buddy and they think thatís all it takes.

Priscilla is quite different. She drops her head, hunkers down low, and actually looks for a goat taller then her. She has yet, in all these years, went to hide behind a short goat. You can see her calculating the goatís size in comparison to hers. You go out to the herd and you see this hunkering down goat, with her head lowered, sneaking around, finding someone taller, and hiding behind them. Crafty olí gal. She thinks she has beat the system.

The kids, in their kid fashion, also look for ways to beat the system. When we kid, we put the girls in individual kidding stalls that are put up in the 12 X 12 horse box stalls. We use combo or hog panel and metal T posts and put up 3 kidding stalls in each horse stall. One of the kidding stalls always is against the wooden box stall door that opens into the aisle way.

We had two kids this year who tamed themselves down and were expert escape artists. As soon as they heard us enter the barn, those little brats would stay low and watch through the crack in the corner of the door to see when we would approach their stall. All innocent, I would open the wooden stall door and those two kids would squirt out quicker then toothpaste and run wild up and down the aisle way, screaming loudly that they had escaped and where on earth was mom, and who cared, they were having fun!

In fact, the little girl got the name of "Oh Gee." Because I would usually say, "Oh, gee, there she goes again. She got out." The brother and sister considered themselves the barn mascots and believed strongly that they had to escape to make sure the barn was running in a smooth fashion. And the funny thing about Oh Gee is that she has only half a voice. Her baby voice comes out in a squeak while every other kid has this absolutely huge bellow to them that would stop a train. Squeaky voice or not, she can be heard among the others who are hollering and you had better go down to her stall and see what she is squeaking about. Usually itís just to say itís time for her to go and inspect the barn while we feed.

And, speaking about poofing and drenching the goats, one thing the goats do when they think a drench gun is getting too close is to start spitting and moving that tongue about. They think they have outsmarted you by doing this. This constantly mouthing motion and spitting just cleans their mouth out good before you do the drenching. They havenít caught on yet that if they left that grass or hay or grain in their mouth and then got drenched, it would be much easier to spit out the wormer with that mouthful of food.

I guess itís a lesson we can all learn. If we think we are beating the system in something, maybe we are poofing and spitting for nothing. Even goats can outsmart themselves.

THE END

 

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