Oh dear, I have to admit that I have greatly disappointed many a customer by the names I have given my goats. And people aren’t quiet about it any more when they hear the name I give a goat. Use to be they would just go, "Oh?" Now, I’m hearing, "What a crazy name. Why did you name him that?" In my defense, all I can say is that I would like to see them name one hundred kids every year and see if they don’t start running out of ideas. I guess that’s my problem, I haven’t run out of ideas for names.

Some people give really odd names to their goats, I think, but when that goat goes and wins show after show, or gets sold as the highest goat in the auction, then suddenly that name is magic. People are asking, where did they get such a show winning name? It just suit’s a famous goat, they say.

Then, along comes my Boo or Lightning Bug or Bouquet. For some reason people don’t think that sounds like a famous name. Boo was named Boo when my young niece saw her and that was the first thing she said to the goat. Lightning Bug got her name because she flitted around and just seemed to light up any place she want. She had personality plus. Then there was Bouquet. No, not named after a bouquet of flowers, but I just couldn’t call her Bucket. I was in the stall when tiny little Bouquet thought she could take a flying leap across her mom’s small water bucket (I have learned not to put big buckets in stalls). Her front legs got across, her belly got caught in the middle of the bucket and her hind legs were stuck on the other side of the bucket. And, she was just too short to simply stand up and walk across the bucket. There she was, stuck. Her little legs inches above the floor, swinging back and forth. She came this close to getting the name Bucket after I lifted her off the bucket. If she had been a boy, she would have got the name Bucket. Now how would that have sounded in a show ring - "Here we have the grand champion of the whole world - Bucket!" Then everyone would be wondering how I came up with such a show winning and appropriate name.

I also do theme years. One year it was cowboys. I had John Wayne, Roy Rogers, Dale Evans, Butch Cassidy, Sundance Kid, Hopalong Cassidy, etc. Another year it was breads - Muffin, Biscuit, Muffinette, Cinnamon Roll, Crescent, Sweet Roll, Honey Nut Roll, Sour Dough, Corn Bread, etc. Now, candy bar year was fun. We had Snickers, Babe Ruth, M&M, Hershey, Fifth Ave, Clark Bar, Toffee, Carmel, etc.

We don’t want to forget the snack food year: Cheetos, Pringles, Pretzel, Potato Chip, Frito, Cracker Jack, Popcorn, Peanut, Almond, Cashew, etc. I haven’t quite had the nerve yet to name a goat Pork Skins.

Oddly enough, I’ve never felt the desire to name goats after vegetables or fruit... yet. Brussel Sprouts just doesn’t roll off the tongue easily, or Broccoli, Cabbage, Green Bean, Spinach, Kale, Mustard Greens. Okay, I did name one little girl Sweet Potato and she was a real dandy. Naming a goat after fruit is worse. Could you imagine a goat named Banana or Kiwi? Okay, I take that back now. A goat named Peaches would be cute. I’ll have to write that down for later.

We do have a Sun line on the farm. The original mother, Sunshine, has a whole series of little girls named Sunlite, Sunbeam, Sun Bonnet, Sun Flower, and the latest, Sun Pixie and Sun Dixie. I just couldn’t name those last little girls Sun Visor or Sun Screen. Now, if they had been boys ...

Then, to remember who belonged to whom without running to look in the records, I would do things like, mother Gabby had Gabriel and Gabe, mother Mabel had Abel and Gable, mother Ester had Estelle and Edith, mother Hannah had Hyacinth and Henry, mother Boo bred to the Eggsfile line had Eggs Boo and mother Boo being from the Bodacious line, so the brother to Eggs Boo got named Bodacious Boo.

And then there was the year of the Bobs: Billy Bob, Annie Bob, Joe Bob, Frank Bob, Sue Bob, etc. I did give one goat with just a single name that year, Elaine. I don’t know, she just looked like an Elaine to me. And, some goats will strike you that way; just one name seems to fit.

Oh, don’t forget about cereals. They make great names. Particularly names like Coco Puff, Honey Snap, Sugar Snap, Frosty O’s, Post Toasties, etc. See, how can buyers complain about names when there are such great names out there waiting to be snapped up and put on a goat?

So what do goat customers do when they don’t like the name I have given a goat? Let’s just say there are a lot of goats in the area that have been renamed Connie now. I think it’s a way to reprimand me and my name giving. Why do I think that? They like to call up and tell me how Connie has been, how many kids she has had, if she likes to beat up on other goats, how a good worming did her a world of good, or how the children love her because she will eat anything they hand her on their picnics, particularly cookies and peanut butter sandwiches. Yes, I do believe there is a certain amount of glee when they call up to say her nick name is now Connie.

So, what am I doing this kidding season on names. Movie theme is sounding rather attractive to me right now. I have a kid out there that would make a great Zorro with that slash of white across his face. And, I definitely have a Chainsaw running around. Also remember that movie foods can be included like Goobers, Buttered Pop Corn, Raisenettes. You know, I have a funny feeling a lot more goats are going to end up with the nick name Connie again.