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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmboers.com
Ravenswood, WV

Oh dear, I have to admit that I have greatly disappointed many a customer by the names I have given my goats. And people arenít quiet about it any more when they hear the name I give a goat. Use to be they would just go, "Oh?" Now, Iím hearing, "What a crazy name. Why did you name him that?" In my defense, all I can say is that I would like to see them name one hundred kids every year and see if they donít start running out of ideas. I guess thatís my problem, I havenít run out of ideas for names.

Some people give really odd names to their goats, I think, but when that goat goes and wins show after show, or gets sold as the highest goat in the auction, then suddenly that name is magic. People are asking, where did they get such a show winning name? It just suitís a famous goat, they say.

Then, along comes my Boo or Lightning Bug or Bouquet. For some reason people donít think that sounds like a famous name. Boo was named Boo when my young niece saw her and that was the first thing she said to the goat. Lightning Bug got her name because she flitted around and just seemed to light up any place she want. She had personality plus. Then there was Bouquet. No, not named after a bouquet of flowers, but I just couldnít call her Bucket. I was in the stall when tiny little Bouquet thought she could take a flying leap across her momís small water bucket (I have learned not to put big buckets in stalls). Her front legs got across, her belly got caught in the middle of the bucket and her hind legs were stuck on the other side of the bucket. And, she was just too short to simply stand up and walk across the bucket. There she was, stuck. Her little legs inches above the floor, swinging back and forth. She came this close to getting the name Bucket after I lifted her off the bucket. If she had been a boy, she would have got the name Bucket. Now how would that have sounded in a show ring - "Here we have the grand champion of the whole world - Bucket!" Then everyone would be wondering how I came up with such a show winning and appropriate name.

I also do theme years. One year it was cowboys. I had John Wayne, Roy Rogers, Dale Evans, Butch Cassidy, Sundance Kid, Hopalong Cassidy, etc. Another year it was breads - Muffin, Biscuit, Muffinette, Cinnamon Roll, Crescent, Sweet Roll, Honey Nut Roll, Sour Dough, Corn Bread, etc. Now, candy bar year was fun. We had Snickers, Babe Ruth, M&M, Hershey, Fifth Ave, Clark Bar, Toffee, Carmel, etc.

We donít want to forget the snack food year: Cheetos, Pringles, Pretzel, Potato Chip, Frito, Cracker Jack, Popcorn, Peanut, Almond, Cashew, etc. I havenít quite had the nerve yet to name a goat Pork Skins.

Oddly enough, Iíve never felt the desire to name goats after vegetables or fruit... yet. Brussel Sprouts just doesnít roll off the tongue easily, or Broccoli, Cabbage, Green Bean, Spinach, Kale, Mustard Greens. Okay, I did name one little girl Sweet Potato and she was a real dandy. Naming a goat after fruit is worse. Could you imagine a goat named Banana or Kiwi? Okay, I take that back now. A goat named Peaches would be cute. Iíll have to write that down for later.

We do have a Sun line on the farm. The original mother, Sunshine, has a whole series of little girls named Sunlite, Sunbeam, Sun Bonnet, Sun Flower, and the latest, Sun Pixie and Sun Dixie. I just couldnít name those last little girls Sun Visor or Sun Screen. Now, if they had been boys ...

Then, to remember who belonged to whom without running to look in the records, I would do things like, mother Gabby had Gabriel and Gabe, mother Mabel had Abel and Gable, mother Ester had Estelle and Edith, mother Hannah had Hyacinth and Henry, mother Boo bred to the Eggsfile line had Eggs Boo and mother Boo being from the Bodacious line, so the brother to Eggs Boo got named Bodacious Boo.

And then there was the year of the Bobs: Billy Bob, Annie Bob, Joe Bob, Frank Bob, Sue Bob, etc. I did give one goat with just a single name that year, Elaine. I donít know, she just looked like an Elaine to me. And, some goats will strike you that way; just one name seems to fit.

Oh, donít forget about cereals. They make great names. Particularly names like Coco Puff, Honey Snap, Sugar Snap, Frosty Oís, Post Toasties, etc. See, how can buyers complain about names when there are such great names out there waiting to be snapped up and put on a goat?

So what do goat customers do when they donít like the name I have given a goat? Letís just say there are a lot of goats in the area that have been renamed Connie now. I think itís a way to reprimand me and my name giving. Why do I think that? They like to call up and tell me how Connie has been, how many kids she has had, if she likes to beat up on other goats, how a good worming did her a world of good, or how the children love her because she will eat anything they hand her on their picnics, particularly cookies and peanut butter sandwiches. Yes, I do believe there is a certain amount of glee when they call up to say her nick name is now Connie.

So, what am I doing this kidding season on names. Movie theme is sounding rather attractive to me right now. I have a kid out there that would make a great Zorro with that slash of white across his face. And, I definitely have a Chainsaw running around. Also remember that movie foods can be included like Goobers, Buttered Pop Corn, Raisenettes. You know, I have a funny feeling a lot more goats are going to end up with the nick name Connie again.

THE END

 

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