I mean that literally, were bucks ever just plain ol’ babies? That thought came to mind the other evening as I watched a three week old buck chase a large four year old doe around the pasture. She was totally terrified that this big ol’ buck was going to catch her, a buck that stood just above her knee.

One thing you would have to wonder, what on earth was the big doe thinking? She could just turn around and clobber the little stinker, but it seemed he’d got her psyched into believing that he was actually a big full grown buck. How did he do that? Maybe because he was making these little miniature buck sounds and making little miniature buck moves?

Was this an unusual baby buck? No. Over the years I’ve watched many baby bucks think and act like they were big bucks and chase full grown does all over the place, driving them crazy. Since these baby bucks have never seen a full grown buck or seen how he acts around does, then how on earth did they know how to imitate them precisely.

There must be a computer chip inside each little buck that makes them act exactly the same. I’ve seen baby bucks just two hours old stand and stomp the ground in front of their brother or sister, and bob their nose in the air with the little tip of their tongue sticking out going, "Na-na-na-na." And then try to mount their sibling.

I think, "Gee, give it a rest. Just be a happy go lucky baby goat for a while." But, they just can’t. I don’t know how many times Lee and I have ran to the barn because we heard weird sounds over the baby monitor. We thought a kid was in distress. Instead, it’s a baby buck hollering and whooping, doing his big buck imitation in a baby voice.

I suppose it’s good these bucks take their jobs so seriously that they start training the first hour of birth. Who would want a buck that didn’t care if he bred a doe or not. I guess that’s when you start calling them a wether. But, gee whiz, couldn’t they just be a kid for a month or two and let the poor does take a breather?

To tell the truth, I’ve always wondered why no one has every videoed these tiny baby bucks chasing these huge full grown does, making baby buck noises, and send it in to Funniest Home Videos. It’s bound to be a winner. You can’t help but crack up laughing watching this tiny buck chasing a huge doe. You don’t laugh long though as you go out to help her. In her mind, this absolutely huge buck is running her, torturing her, trying to force her to come in heat, and she is frantic.

And, then when these little buck babies turn on you, you laugh now, but watch out if they are still around two years later. I’ve had baby bucks march up to me and press their little heads against my leg and push for all they were worth, or just really butt me a good one, at least to them it was a really good butt. It’s so ridiculous you laugh and go on, but be on the look out, they are practicing.

But, it just really puzzles me how the little baby bucks imitate the big bucks precisely without ever having seen a big buck. You don’t see baby does going around practicing kidding do you? Suddenly they throw themselves down and start grunting and straining, hollering to practice on the different volume of screaming. Or, practicing how really pregnant does walks, waddling along just right. Baby does just go along being regular babies, enjoying life before it is time to be a mature doe with mature responsibilities.

Not so that little baby buck pervert. He’s all buck from hour one. How his poor sainted mother can put up with him is beyond me, or for that matter, his poor sister or brother. The brothers take turn acting like big bucks, confused when they jump on each other, but still sounding and acting like a tiny big buck.

I don’t know how many times new customers to goats come to the farm and stare in amazement at this tiny baby buck slapping the ground with his tiny little hoof, and hollering and whooping behind some big doe. Or, ask why that big doe would run from that little boy buck. Got me. He’s got her totally conned into thinking he’s the real thing and she had better watch out.

So, you really have to wonder, are bucks ever truly babies? You know, just lounging around thinking baby thoughts like, "Is my tummy full?", "Where’s my wonderful mommy?", "That sun feels so warm on my back.", "I think I’ll just go and play with the other babies."

Okay, they do revert and play like good babies sometimes, but then something clicks in and it’s back to holler and whooping and playing big baby breeding buck. No, I don’t think bucks are ever babies. When they are born, they are just big bucks in disguise.