I believe I have found another way to make money from the goat farm. Have you noticed all the adrenalin seekers out there, looking for ways to scare themselves spit-less? Thereís even a show called the Fear Factor. Iím not sure if this is exactly the same idea. Iíve never watched it because the name scares me to death. It sounds like something where they might make you lie in a box and pour buckets of worms over you. Yuck!
Thereís even adrenalin seekers who pay other people to take them out to the ocean and let them swim with the sharks. Now, I was a little disappointed that they put the people in cages and then dropped then in a herd of sharks. I thought they were actually going to swim with the sharks and I wondered how they would fare. But, I guess the people who sponsor these shark adrenalin rushes for people want to get their money and feeding their customers to the sharks is not a good idea. So, no matter how much you argue that you really want to swim with the sharks, they stick you in protective cages.
Why, even here in West Virginia there is one day a year for adrenalin seekers to jump off the tall New River Gorge bridge. Once again, being a literal minded person, I was surprised that everyone used parachutes, but still it seemed enormously thrilling for the ones who did do it.
I donít know, Iíve never been much of a thrill seeker. If I ever did anything remotely adrenalin rushing, it was purely by accident. Iím the type that calmly gets into predicaments because I look at things and say, "Why not?" And, then attempt it and find out why not. No warning bells ring out to warn me beforehand. I really need to have a sign taped to my back, "Fools go where angels fear to tread." That just about describes me because I am not looking for an adrenalin rush, I just fall into situations because I did not realize that it could hurt, like during my career as a bronc buster. But, thatís another story.
And, many people donít realize how being a goat farmer is an adrenalin rush half the time. Thatís how I figure I can make some money off the farm. I can offer exciting experiences of attempting to pet a bottle baby without losing your fingers, or at least getting the fingers sucked into withered nubbins. Or, better yet, daring someone to walk through a bunch of friendly bottle babies. Talk about piranhas on four legs. You are thankful if you make it out of the pen.
Or, how about putting the adrenalin seekers in a pen with friendly yearling bucks that have started urinating on their legs and faces. These stinky boys love to catch you and rub their smelly heads and necks on you. The excitement of trying to duck and dodge these friendly but odorous boys and come out not smelling as bad as they do should thrill adrenalin seekers.
Better yet, let adrenalin seekers try to walk through a large pen full of aggressive older bucks who like to protect their territory. Wow!! I guess we could charge extra and offer a cage of some type to protect them as they go through the pen. The best thing I can come up with is sitting them in a wheel barrow and hiring high school football players to push them through the aggressive bucks at a dead run. At any second they might get tossed out or tilted over and then they are on their own to get out of that pen. Whew! Thatís excitement.
Or, giving the thrill seeker a feed bucket and let them wander out into a pasture of 20 or 30 goats and see what happens. Better yet, for a real life changing experience, make that 60-80 goats and the thrill seeker is not allowed to turn loose of the bucket and has to out-run the hungry goats, plus put the grain in the feed trough. Wow.
Though, I think one of my biggest adrenalin rushes was being caught out in a field with a territorial buck, racing around tree after tree with him hot on my heels breathing fire and brimstone wanting to wipe out the offending human. Fortunately, a cute little doe flagged her tail at him and caught his attention and I got away.
And, if anyone has a snake fetish, we have a black snake over six foot long living at the hill barn that is slow moving and unafraid of people, goats, or livestock guard dogs. The dog and the goats have gotten so use to her, she just glides through them at the barn and they politely step over her. I was standing there one day when she was checking out all the rat holes and she unconcernedly went past me, almost going over my feet because I was on her favorite path. That was almost as big an adrenalin rush as when the buck was chasing me around the tree. I know this olí girlís routine and I could just take the peopleís money and line them up for her to travel over their feet. Whew! Iím hyperventilating just thinking about it.
Now, all I have to do is advertise and let all those thrill seekers know my goat farm is out here and for a price, they can get all sorts of adrenalin rushes. Who says itís boring and hard making a living at being a goat farmer? Itís just one big adrenalin rush after another, particularly the part about paying the bills.