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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
OH, MY
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmboers.com
Ravenswood, WV

I remember reading that if you are going to sell goats, you really need a website. Since we sell goats, I took their word and decided to try and get a website. I immediately hit two problems. Our goats are not a hobby, but a business. So they had to be able to pay for their website. I did not want to put a strain on their budget, so that knocked out all those wonderful webmasters who do those fantastic websites. They deserve their pay. And, the second problem was, I am a computer illiterate. The computer books for dummies are too high tech for me. Iím not sure what is lower then a computer dummy, but here I are.

On the advice of friends, I bought FrontPage 2002. This is suppose to be a wonderful program, helping people do the impossible, build a website. Between me and you, I read the instructions and I do believe it is written in a foreign language. I watched other people with FrontPage and they read and did it and cried out how easy it was. So, I donít know if Iím the foreigner who hasnít learned the language yet, or that book really is written in a foreign language, like I suspect. Anyway, using FrontPage, a long suffering friend basically set up a simple site for me and told me to put pictures on it.

I did. Somehow. And, three years later, havenít touched the site for fear it would blow up. At least I didnít touch it until a few days ago. Shame drove me to it, besides a lot of people telling me I needed to update.

With great apprehension, I clicked on my site on FrontPage and decided to update the bucksí page. We did have some new boys that needed to be introduced. I carefully selected some pictures, deleted some pictures, inserted the new pictures, published it, and presto, wham-o, there it was.. Oh, My.

It wasnít exactly as I had expected. Oh, My. My worse fears were realized. Well, next to worse fears. The site hadnít blown up as I had expected, but there were these odd pictures, ones I had never even chosen, above my captions.

First reaction was hysteria, but the second reaction took over, laughter. The caption that read, "Esau in winter gear." Heís one of our young red bucks. There was a picture of our backyard dog, Alice, in her dog house with her pal, a chicken who did not like the chicken house. Evidently the computer did not like my picture selections and substituted some of itís own.

Over the caption that read, "Lamech with yearling does," there was a picture of two kids climbing on a stall wall trying to reach our black Thoroughbredís nose as he was trying to touch them. What on earth? "Gideon with yearling does," ended up having a picture of does wandering around in a snowstorm, not a buck in sight. And, the odd picture exchange went on throughout the buck page.

After laughing, I checked what the page on FrontPage looked like, and it looked just like I wanted it to, with correct pictures, but on the published web were all the above totally inaccurate pictures. I clicked on the FrontPage to publish that buck page again. Same thing happened, all the wrong pictures.

Hmmmmmm. Well, maybe the pictures need to be renamed. Maybe it was replacing pictures with the same numbers. So, I renamed all the pictures I wanted to use, set up FrontPage with the newly renamed pictures, hit publish, and then checked the internet website. Still the same pictures. Oh, My. What to do, what to do.

I decided to call the place that has our site on it. Donít know the technical name for them, but maybe they might know what was going on, though it probably wasnít their problem. I waited a half hour for someone to come on the phone to help me and it ended up being worth the wait.

He said when he checked the site, it was just as I described it the way it should be. It didnít have a chicken and a dog, or a horse and baby kids touching noses, it had the pictures I wanted. Then why on earth was my computer still showing the wrong pictures to me, I asked. He said I needed to get rid of some "cookies" the computer had. I didnít even know computers snacked.

He told me step by step what to do and we got rid of come "cookies", probably the crumbs were slowing the computer down anyway. Then he said we needed to get rid of some temporary history files, or some such thing as that. He said my computer was going on memory instead of actually going to the published site and seeing what was actually there. At least, that was the way I understood what he said. "Why you lazy olí thing," I told the computer.

After it was all said and done, I checked the site on the web and it was just the pictures I selected. After over three years of expecting something terrible to happen if I messed with the website, I wasnít a bit surprised when it did. The way I figured, people had gotten tired of coming to my site by now, hoping for an update, and had given up on me. No one visited it now, so what did I have to worry about, no one would ever see my big boo-booís.

Now, that I have built up a little nerve, I think the Sale Page is next to try. I have a bunch of cute little bucks and does that are for sale and need to be put on that page. But, probably what will happen is the computer will change the pictures on me again and instead of having cute little bucks and does up for sale, there will probably be pictures of our house or tractors, or me and Lee up for sale. Gee, I hope we get a good price.

THE END

 

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