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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
IíLL HOLD HIM BACK
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmboers.com
Ravenswood, WV

It was that time again. May, when we put the full blood does in with the bucks for an October kidding. With pens and pastures and goats spread from hither to yon, as usual I wanted just that certain doe in with that certain buck and the full blood does were laced throughout the different herds. The bucks also would have to be moved to larger pens or fields to accommodate their visiting girlfriends. So, a lot of other goats would have to be shuffled around to get everyone where they were suppose to be for the May breeding season, whether they were being bred or not.

Whew! Makes me tired writing about it, much less trying to think it through how we were going to achieve all this. I could just picture us shuffling a boatload of goats around and then thinking we are done and looking out in one pen and seeing just the three bucks we were using this time standing in the field together, looking around, saying, "What happened? Donít we get any girls?"

So, very carefully I put my plan to paper. Well, really I just wrote down the name of each buck and what girls he was suppose to have and handed it to Lee and asked him to make it happen. Also, telling him the size of pen each buck would need for his girls, depending on how well the girls I have chosen for him got along. I know my girlsí personalities and who their best buddies are and who they would get along with or at least tolerate. You have to have shelter for the different groups and youíd be surprised how many will willingly room together if they just get along. If the girls donít get along, well, you had better have a much larger pasture or pen and a much larger shelter. Because they would be together with the buck from their first heat cycle until 22-24 days later to see if they cycled again.

Lee has the clear, analytical mind, able to see different ways and means for moving individual or large groups of animals along in the easiest and quietest way, to arrive at their destination unperturbed about the whole experience. Me, I would find the hardest way to do something and stubbornly and methodically be dragging one goat at a time to itís designated pen, trying to fight the buck off to push a doe in with him.

Long time ago we discovered that it was much easier to put the girls into the pens first and then move the buck in with them. That way you donít have the buck standing at the gate, waiting for us to deliver the girls, hollering to the girl you are trying to shove inside, things like, "Whoa, Momma! Ha Cha Cha Cha. Woowee!" and other rude things like that at her.

The poor girls get intimidated when met by a buck acting that way, unless they are in heat and then they start hollering back, "Hey! Big boy! You smell good!" Then you know that girl wonít be in the pen long because she will be bred immediately and usually wonít be coming back in heat later. Girls acting forward like this donít intimidate the older, experienced bucks. Some of the younger bucks might get nervous with bold girls, but usually in May my girls arenít in heat at the beginning and have to be put in with a buck to get them to thinking about it and then a week later they come in heat.

But, getting them there and then delivering the proper buck to them can take a lot of conniving and shuffling around of goats. Finally we got to the last two bucks and we were going to have to go against the plan of having the girls in first. The two yearling bucks had been rooming together and the girls in one pen that one of the yearling bucks was to go in, had to be moved into the other pen leaving the second yearling buck where he was already at. I know, I know, I get confused thinking about what I just said, never mind actually doing it.

Since these fellows were youngsters, Lee felt he could lead one of them to the next door pen, open the gate, and the three girls we wanted in with the second yearling buck would willingly leave, just simply because the gate was open and a goat just has to go where it thinks it doesnít belong. But, to keep the young buck already in the pen, where the girls were to go in, from escaping and going where he was not suppose to go was a puzzler, until I heard myself say, "Iíll hold him back!"

Now what possessed me to say that? The buck may have been a yearling, but he was one nice chunky yearling, certainly much stronger then me. And, when that gate opened, the other buck left with Lee, and the three girls "escaped" into his pen, did I really think I could hold him back until Lee had the other buck in his pen and the gate shut with three young tantalizing does just entering into the pen I was supposedly holding the buck in?

I had that young buckís horns held in a death grip and my heels dug into the dirt, waiting for the explosion that would surely happen, with me being dragged all around the pen. The girls exploded through that gate, so excited and happy to be someplace that they just knew they werenít suppose to be that they didnít even notice me and the young buck.

I waited for that explosion. And waited And waited. I glanced down at him. He was standing there staring bugged eyed at the young does. In fact, he had taken a half step to hide behind me and he didnít tug once to be turned loose to meet his new roommates. He was feeling a mite intimidated himself at the moment.

I hollered over to Lee, "See? No problem. I held him just fine," and turned the young buck loose. He stood there a minute or two more and then walked over to the round bale and started eating, keeping careful watch on the new girls, in case they made a move to chase him away from the bale of hay. Of course this didnít last long. Thatís the nature of a young buck, he has to go say something rude to a doe, which either chases her away, or causes her to say, "Oh, really?" with great interest.

At least the May separation of bucks with their does was complete now. We can all relax until itís time to separate the bucks from the does. I have a feeling then that I will not be saying, "Iíll hold him back," to Lee. You can only get by with that so many times, and my one time is up.

THE END

 

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