Current
Visitors
28
COVER PAGE
PREVIOUS
DISPLAY
 Related Articles
12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NO…
ZAPPED!
I FEEL PRETTY, OH, SO PRETTY
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmboers.com
Ravenswood, WV

Granted, this is not something most goat farmers wake up singing. Particularly, if they are a man. Unless they do a remake of the West Side song and sing, “ I feel handsome, oh, so handsome. I feel handsome, and athletic, and strong.” Mainly goat farmers wake up surprised that they find themselves still in bed, especially if it’s kidding season.

As for feeling pretty, I haven’t thought about that in …. um, what year is it? Well, let’s say it’s been a while since I thought about pretty, unless it’s a pretty goat or a view of pretty goats coming down off a green hill, sunlight glistening off their healthy coats, or pretty kids playing on the creek bank or …. Well, you get what I mean.

Instead of thinking “pretty”, I’m more concerned with, “Am I reasonably presentable.” Each day I try to start out presentable, clean jeans, shirt, socks, but something happens within the first hour of going outside. Either a baby goat jumps on me after running through mud and various other things that are found on the ground, and/ or I accidentally squirt medicines all over myself, getting permanently stained.

Anyone who just suddenly drops in to see the goats, well, they get what they deserve for their surprise visit, surprised. If it’s later in the day, there I stand in all my glory, badly stained pants, anything from diarrhea, mud, or medicines on them, and the same goes for the shirt. Thank goodness they can’t see my socks. Wearing rubber barn boots most the time, everything seems to drop in them. I have stood there and had goats deposit their berries in them, a doe squat and urinate in them (yes, this is with me in them); carrying hay, I seem to deposit part of the hay down my boots, and grain is forever getting dribbled down them. By the time the day is done, so are my socks. Even after two hours wear, they are never the same. I’m thinking about developing disposable socks that you can peel off any time and toss away and put on a fresh pair. That would work good for our farm.

If I know someone is dropping by to look at goats, I can hurry and hunt up a reasonably presentable barn shirt for the occasion. Gee, I might even go so as far as putting on a stained but clean pair of jeans, too.

Now, you probably wonder what these barn shirts are I keep talking about. No, there’s not a place at Sears or Wal-Mart called “barn shirts”. Barn shirts to us is any shirt on the clearance table that is around $2.50 or a dress shirt that has seen it’s better days and has been demoted from church clothes or going to town clothes to now the barn shirt.

I had one favorite barn shirt like that that I called my “girlie” shirt. It was so pretty with buttons and bows and a soft turquoise color. Sure, it was faded and stretched out some now, that’s why it was a barn shirt, but it still felt so “girlie” when I put it on. As I said, usually my barn shirts are the clearance shirts in the men’s sports section in clothes stores and there is no telling what team I am promoting that day when I put on a good $2.50 barn shirt.

But, this “girlie”, may I go so far as to say, blouse was so feminine I kept wanting to sing, “I feel pretty, oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright!” Which the goats didn’t mind a bit, so long as I kept the feed coming. I did control the song when goat customers arrived so as not to have a quick mass exit of goat buying customers. I mean, would you hang around if the seller kept singing, “I feel pretty”? If someone started singing that while I was standing there I’d say, “Feet don’t fail me now,” and would definitely get out of there.

So, one day I am showing a family the goats I had for sale, walking to the various pastures to see each group of goats, and I have my pretty “girlie” blouse on. Now, with my goats, many will come up and stand with you while you are discussing them. They are a friendly sort. And, while they are standing there listening to what you have to say about them, nothing pleases them better then to get a little mouthful of my clothes and chew on them, with a happy dreamy expression on their face. If I stand very long in some of the fields, I come out with soggy bits of clothing all over me.

After the family had made their pick and had drove off, I happened to look down to see holes all along the bottom of my pretty blouse and up the sides where contented goats had stood, dreamy eyed and content, and chewed. The jeans can hold up to this type of chewing, but shirts and my pretty blouse don’t stand a chance. It looked like I had been attacked by a band of very large moths. Ah, well, the blouse would now be demoted to the rag bag. Nothing goes to waste around here.

Until then, I had to break out into my Goat Farmer Feeling Pretty song, while I had my soon to be demoted pretty (holey) blouse on:

I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any goat farmer who isn’t me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It’s alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe this goat farmer is real.

See the pretty goat farmer in the mirror there;
Who can that attractive goat farmer be?
Such a pretty face when it’s clean,
Such a pretty blouse, though holey,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I am
A goat farming girl!

At this point, if you bang the feed can, the goats will join in with the chorus.

And thanks goes to West Side Story for the inspiration of this story and a once pretty pretty girlie blouse.

THE END

 

DISCLAIMER

GoatGateway.com and it's agents and sponsors are not responsible for the content of advertisers' sites or advertised claims.

GoatGateway.com does not act as an agent for buyers or sellers. GoatGateway.com does not in any way influence or control transactions for goods or services between buyers and sellers.

USE

Information on this web site is offered by persons who are NOT veterinary professionals except where noted.
The information contained on this web site is based on the knowledge and understanding of the author at the time of first publication. However, because of advances in agriculture related fields, users are reminded of their personal responsibility to ensure that information upon which they rely is up to date and to CHECK accuracy and currency of the information WITH YOUR VETERINARIAN for specific health and nutrition advice.

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL
Users of medical and chemical products must always read the label and strictly comply with directions on the label. Users are not absolved from compliance with the directions on the label by reason of any statement made, or omitted to be made, on this web site.

TRADEMARKS

The boergoats.com logo is a registered trademark of KLS Boer Goats.
The following are trademarks or service marks of KLS Boer Goats.

OnLine Show
GoatGateway
BoerGoats.com
MeatGoats.com
GoatClassifieds
ShowMeatGoats
ShowWethers.net
BoerGoat101.com
GoatBreeders.com
BoerGoats.comCHAT
The Show Wether Center
Where The Bucks Meet The Bucks
The Boer & Meat Goat Information Center