I can’t believe it. I’m a Super Hero. After carefully studying movies and cartoons and seeing that an individual with an exceptional talent is called a Super Hero, I have come to the conclusion that that is what I am, a Super Hero. My gift is known by all our neighbors and our goats and our dogs.
I came to this realization a couple of days ago of my power. It’s squirrel season in West Virginia and all the squirrel hunters are out in the woods happily shooting up into the trees. That morning the squirrel hunters were out in full force. Guns were going off all around us up in the hills.
Alice, the backyard dog, was cowering in her dog house, totally gun shy. Chester, the other backyard dog was following me around as I did chores, seriously thinking over whether he might be gun shy too. Buddy the Beagle was playing with a stick, completely not gun shy.
As I stepped under the barn’s overhang to open the gate, a shot gun blast went off close by, pellets hit our barn roof, run-in shed, and hay barn roof like heavy hail. Goats milled around in confusion, Chester decided he was gun shy after all and dove for cover.
I felt my super power kick in and using my God given talent, I filled my lungs up with air, opened my mouth, and from the very bottom of my stomach, let out a bellow to end all bellows.
“HEY!!!! YOU ARE SHOOTING AT US! YOU’VE HIT THE BARN ROOF AND RUN-IN SHED’S ROOF!!! YOU’VE SCATTERED THE GOATS! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!” The next came out in a fierce roaring growl, “DO YOU HEAR ME? STOP IT. NOW!!!”
Everything became deadly quiet. No sound came from up and down the valley from the neighbors, or our goats, or even the birds in the trees. All was hushed, waiting for my next command.
Lee came flying around the corner. He had been a consider distance away, but heard me plain as day. Still in Super Hero mode, I shouted, “SOMEONE IS SHOOTING AT US!” and pointed up the hill.
Lee made a hard left to stay away from The Voice and save his ear drums and ran up the hill to where I was pointing. Buddy the Beagle was hard on his heels, barking the whole way and hoping to help Lee out. Evidently, still not gun shy.
You have to realize that in West Virginia, when you squirrel hunt, a lot of times you are at the top of the hill and looking down you can see tree tops and squirrels in those tree tops. Without even a second thought, many hunters will shoot down then instead of up in a tree where they would normally shoot. Of course, they never consider about buildings and barns being down at the base of those hills like ours were.
Lee said when he got to the top, he found a squirrel hunter and his son. The man profusely apologized. Lee told him that he was lucky that his wife hadn’t found him.
Having a super power, I know my limitations. If I had ran to the top of the hill the way Lee had, I would have been so out of breath by the time I had found that hunter. I would have been wheezing so badly that the hunter would have had to pound me on the back to get me to breathing normally, offer me a drink of water and a granola bar and have me sit and rest for fifteen minutes before I could tell him off. My power is in the breathing. No breath, no super power. Thus, is my kryptonite (if you are a Superman fan, you’ll know what this is).
Fortunately, I use my super power only for good. I use it to call Lee in to supper when he is out cutting firewood on the other side of the hill. After all, he needs to hear me above the chainsaw. I use it to call the goats off the hillside. I use it to call the dogs back when they think they are sneaking off. One blast of The Voice and they come slinking home. I use The Voice to shout a friendly “Howdy” to the neighbors driving down the road with their windows up and listening to loud music. After watching them swerve all over the road after shouting a friendly “Howdy”, I have to be very cautious in using The Voice that way. Neighbors can only take so much friendliness.
And, concerts. I love singing at the barn and an impromptu concert is always fun. The windows at the house shake some, but the goats don’t mind the concert as long as I carry the feed bucket. I am also considerate once again of the neighbors and make sure they are at work when I feel a concert coming on.
Yes, I am glad I have finally realized that I have this super power and am now a Super Hero. It’s better being a Super Hero then a Mutant X, but we won’t think about that.