Once again it has been too long since I have written. I understand how you wait with bated breath for the next installment of my goat farming saga, knowing that I have the dream job of all jobs. But, this exhilarating work just keeps me outside and away from the computer too much to do too many letters.
I hope all is well with you and your spouse and children, if you have any. Lee and I find ourselves well, in spite of the herd of goats that ran over Lee’s sore foot and now he walks with a decided limp and has to wear one shoe size larger to fit that swollen foot. Not wanting to waste the other shoe, he goes ahead and wears it on his good foot, though obviously too big. The flopping like a big clown shoe doesn’t seem to scare the goats too badly.
I myself am sitting here with an ice bag on my forehead and one on my chin. One of my other favorite nephews happened to be telling me one day about a home video show where a man went out into the pasture with two big billys and pretended like he was going to head butt them. Well, one of the billys took offence and butted heads with that fellow and almost knocked him into the next county.
The next day I went into a stall bringing fresh water to a doe who had two of the cutest two month old kids you’d ever seen, a boy and a girl. I set the water down and bent over to pet the kids and the young billy reared up and launched himself and head butted me in the forehead. I couldn’t believe it! Nothing like that has ever happened to me until that nephew of mine told me that story. I staggered around the stall a bit, trying to find the door, and made a foggy mental note to tell that nephew to quit telling me any more goat stories.
Not long after that Lee and I decided to wean some of the kids. He told me to go get this one young doe and lift her over the stall door for him to take to the weaning area. I bent down and tried to pick this young doe up. In great surprise at my actions, she leapt upwards and hit me under the chin, snapping my jaws shut, causing me to bit my tongue. Adding insult to injury, she then ended up too heavy to lift. So, I picked up her front end and walked her on her rear legs to where Lee was waiting and partially picked her up enough for Lee to get hold of her.
Lee asked what was wrong, seeing tears streaming down my cheeks. Misunderstanding my tears, he gently told me that they would miss their mommy for a couple of days and then they would be all right. I would have explained to him that my tears were from pain. My tongue hurt too much to talk if I could have, but it seemed to have instantly swelled up and I was unable to mumble a word. I might have been able to drool out, “Ah, bat ma ung.” But then I would have to explain what I had just said, so I just kept still. It was definitely a no win situation. Anyway, the ice pack on my bruised chin and forehead and the ice cube on my tongue seems to be working and things are going nice and numb.
Yes, we are getting ready for hay season. It’s been such a warm week our hay farmer decided to put up some round bales. Being cut this early in the season, the first cutting this year is going to be exceptional in food value and tenderness. It makes you want to get out a bowl and spoon and try some, it smells so good. When we brought in the first twenty round bales that evening, we thought we had a section of the hay barn all ready to go. We then realized it wasn’t all going to fit.
So, at nine o’clock at night, we decided to rearrange the hay barn and put those twenty round bales in a better location. Which meant moving some does and a buck that we had in one part of the barn and pasture area out to another area.
Unfortunately, that area had a pen where three For Sale bucks were housed. They took much interest in the new girls on the other side of their fence, which absolutely infuriated the girls’ buck that was with them. A bunch of name calling followed between the bucks, along with snorting and more insults.
We ignored all this as we hurriedly worked in the dark with flashlights. Finally, at midnight we were finished. I went on up to the house to shower and get ready for bed and Lee was going to open the gate and let the girls and their buck back into their original pasture.
Finally at 1 a.m. Lee showed up greatly disheveled (that’s a fancy word for really a mess) and told me what had happened. Evidently the girls’ buck heard an insult that he could no longer take, and battered the gate open to get in with those three bucks to teach them manners.
With great wisdom the girls stayed out of that pen and hid. The bucks in the For Sale pen were dehorned and when they charged to meet the attack of the girls’ buck, they realized he had horns. Basically, two of them immediately stood back to egg their other pen mate into whipping the horned buck. A huge battle ensued. Horns or not, the dehorned buck was determined to whip the horned buck, especially with his buddies standing around shouting, “Yeah, you can take him! Have no fear of those horns! You can do it! Fred and I will stand over here and let you get all the glory of whipping that guy!”
Lee finally got everyone separated and into their proper pens and came to the house to collapse. Never fear, Lee is fine, but I don’t want you to feel bad because you have nothing exciting to relate to us in your next letter. Living in the city must be terribly boring so I am glad my letters can lighten up your drab existence. Any time you want some excitement, please feel free to drop by. And, the most exciting time is during hay season, particularly when hauling and carrying square bales in 90 degree temperatures and 100% humidity. We’ll be looking for you.