I have been seriously studying marketing plans of other businesses and seeing if they would improve the selling of our goats. Being a very cheap, I mean, frugal individual, I firmly believe in being a good steward of the money the goats bring in. And, please do not believe the gossip going around that I can squeeze a penny so tight that I can make change. Ridiculous. I should know.

The first thing I do is take advantage of all the free advertising that I can. There are ad papers put out that offer free advertising so that people will buy their paper just to see what others have for sale.

Be short and clear on what you have for sale when you phone in to these free ad papers. Have what you want to sell already written up so you can read it to the answering machine. You don’t want to get suddenly bashful and not be able to think what it was you had for sale. And you don’t want to ramble on for five minutes, waxing poetic on the beauty of your goats’ eyes and how they are such absolutely, wonderfully gorgeous creatures.

Neither should you say, “Goats” and then give your phone number. That doesn’t tell the would-be buyer anything. What kind of goats do you have for sale, the breed, age, and price would most certainly help. Sometimes, even when I am precise with what I have for sale, I still get calls from people wanting to buy goat cheese or goat milk or Pygmys. I don’t know what it is about my ad for Boers for sale but I regularly get people who call up wanting Pygmys.

So, if you just put that you have goats for sale, think of all the calls you would be getting to see what kind of car you have for sale. Be clear and precise on what you have for sale, yet be short and to the point. Write it down, edit it, phone it in. Just don’t stand there and say, “Uhhhhhhhhhh,” because you forgot what you had to say.

Some of the answering machines on these free ad papers are use to the “Uhhhhhh” people and will tell you they are giving you thirty seconds or one minute to put your ad in. I have learned to become a clear speed reader. Even then, I have one ad paper that insists that I am French. I might say to the answering machine, “Registered 97% Jan. Boer does.” When the ad paper comes out, it seems I have “Registered 97% Jan. bordeauxs for sale. I am not sure what that is, but it sounds French. So with the speed reading for those thirty second ads, try to speaking clearly.

You can always carry business cards you’ve run off on your computer, or index cards you’ve neatly printed and put them up on bulletin boards at feed stores, wherever there are bulletin boards. I might suggest that the church bulletin board is not a good place to put up your goat advertisements. I have yet to receive a call from that.

The idea of advertising, “Buy three goats, get one free,” might work and provides an excellent chance to get rid of that goat that keeps escaping and dancing on top of your car. “Free kittens per goat” sounds like a good idea but I finally had to stop it. I was running out of room for all the kittens I was receiving.

One marketing idea caught my attention over the weekend. Sure, it was for selling coffee, but it seemed to be working in Seattle. It seems Seattle really loves its coffee. Coffee shops are everywhere, and that’s all they sell is coffee. To be able to survive the stiff competition, owners of these shops are coming up with names for their coffees like Sensuous Delight, Voluptuously Sinful, Over Flowing Cup, things like.

I’m doubtful on this one for goats, because if you go around naming your goats Sinfully Sweet or Triple X Surprise or Porn King (this might fit bucks, but may not be a good idea for a name), the neighbors are going to get worried about you. And, the Vice Squad will start making their rounds near your place. Not to mention all the 4-H sales you would lose.

The coffee shops in Seattle also have a Bikini Wednesdays. Now this is something that a goat farmer might take into consideration for a sales campaign. I would think though you would have to start really early Wednesday mornings getting ready. It’s going to take a lot of time to put bikinis on all those goats.