Ouch!... Now, THAT hurt! Where's the food? It's cold! Where's the food? What's that? Feels Good! Oh, she's cleaning me. I LOVE her! I'm hungry! Where's the food? There it is! I have to get up and go to the food! I can't believe it -- she knocked me over! How can I get to the food if she keeps pushing me down? Can't she see that I don't know how to use my legs yet and anyway I’m clean enough? OK... now she's pushing me toward the food! Come ON -- I know there's food in there. Why won't my mouth go around the thing the food is in? ALL-RIGHT!! Finally made it. Now, that tastes good! Now she's pushing me again."Hey! I'm clean, already. Let me eat!" OK, She's the boss.

(Senjin has just received his first lesson in the mandatory course GoatLife 101; The one who controls the food is boss).

What’s that? Looks like a big animal. Doesn’t have any hair and I don’t see any ears on it. Mommy isn’t afraid so I guess it won’t hurt me. "Hey! Put me down. HELP, Mommy!" Where is he taking me? "Put me down, I said!" I want my Mommy. "Put me down!" Ok, that’s better. How does he expect me to stand on this slick surface? The little red numbers that the big animal is looking at are real pretty. "Hey! Mommy already checked me. I have all my parts so you can just leave me alone, ok?" Oh-oh. Here we go again! "Put me down put me down put me down MOMMY HELP put me down put me down HELP anybody out there HELP!" Oh, there you are, Mommy. I’m hungry.

This is fun! "See, mommy - when I jump against the back of the stall it makes a neat noise!" She’s ignoring me again. Well, I’ve got a cure for that -- I’ll just bite her ear. OOPS! She didn’t seem to like that. Oh, well. I guess it’s time to eat again. I’m So-o-o-o tired. Nap time.

Mom’s going outside with that big animal. He brings her food so he must be her boss. She’s my boss and she’s my mom and she won’t take me anywhere I could get hurt. "Hey, Mom! Wait for me" It’s so big out here! "Look, Mom! There’s about a zillion kids my size here! And some of ‘em are girls! Can I play with them, Huh? Can I? Can I?" Well, If she’s gonna’ beat up on that kid’s mom I can beat up on the kid. "Ouch!" She hits hard! Maybe we can just be friends. I’m hungry. It’s nap time.

These big animals without ears or hair are fun. They give us the same kind of food our moms eat and they play with us a lot more than our moms do. I really like that doe named Charise; the one with the read heart on her shoulder. I don’t like that baby buck they call Bronson. He’s always following me around. Just ‘cause he doesn’t have a mom doesn’t mean he has to hang around me all the time. Sure wish he’d find someone else to be his hero.

Here comes an animal with no hair, again. Hope he wants to play. Why is he taking all us kids to the barn? It’s dark in there! I don’t like this little stall. There are too many of us packed in here. The big animal just took Charise into a stall with walls I can’t see through. I can tell he’s hurting her ‘cause she’s calling for her mom.  He just took her back outside and is coming back for the rest of us. I’ll bet he hurts us too!  "Hey! Put me down!" Oh, good! He has food in here. "OUCH! That hurt! Mommy! He stuck a needle in my butt and then poked both of my ears full of holes and brushed green gunk into the holes". Ok. No problem. He has food.

"You can’t catch me!" Running and jumping around the barn with Bronson is great fun! Oops! What’s that on the other side of the bars? That’s the biggest buck I’ve ever seen. I don’t even come up to his chest! Wonder why they keep him behind bars. Bet I can make him hit his head against the bars. "Hey, Bronson. Watch him hit his head on the bars". Ok. not such a good idea. I’ll just go back to playing with Bronson and pretend that the big buck isn’t there.

Here comes the hairless one I call Pappas. Wonder if it’s food time or play time? Why is he taking all our moms and sisters into that other pen? Just when the does were getting to be fun to play with. I might get hungry for some milk and I’m over here and Mom’s over there and I don’t know how to go over there and... "MOMMY!"

Pappas and Mammas bring all the food now. Watch... I can make them rub my face. All I have to do is cock my head to the side like a puppy and then they smile and rub my face with their gloves. Feels good. It’s no fun in this pen since they took all the moms and doe kids out. It’s just me and Bronson and Winchester and Remington and Justin and Hunter. Just a bunch of guys with nothing to do. The other bucks are smaller than me and I’m all the time having to butt them to keep them in line. And that Bronson is worst of all. He doesn’t fight with me but every time I turn around he’s starting a fight with of the others then coming over to stand by me for protection. One of these days... That strange hairless one is taking Remington and Winchester away. When the other hairless ones took Justin and Hunter they never came back. You sure won’t ever catch me getting into one of those trailers! Now it’s just Bronson and me. Guess it’s time he and I had it out. Specially since he’s been looking at Charise. Besides, if I do him in I can have Charise and all the other does, too.

Uh, oh! Pappas is bringing that great big buck he calls "Doc" into the pen with me and Bronson. He can’t be much if he walks around all meek-like with that chain on his neck and a rope between him and Pappas. I’m a buck and I don’t have to bow to any goat just ‘cause he’s been here longer than me. I’ll show him who’s boss of this pen.  "Le’mme at ‘im! Lemme at ‘im!". Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. I thought that Pappas would keep holding the rope. I think Doc is gonna try to get rid of Bronson and me so he can have all the does to himself. Pretty selfish if you ask me. Pappas won’t let us fight with Doc, anymore. Just ‘cause we’re getting beat up pretty bad is no reason to keep us from trying. A few more fights and I know we can take him. Then I can get rid of that little punk Bronson and all the does will be mine. Why is Pappas putting me in this pen by myself? Doc is right on the other side of that wire. I think there’s a wire between him and Bronson, too. Not even one real fence between the three of us. All I have to do is walk over there through the wire and Pow! Pow! They’re both history! I’ll just walk through this little wire and... "OUCH!" What was that? The wire bit me! I think I’ll just let Doc stay where he is - I’m not going near that wire again! I’ll just stand here and look mean and maybe Doc will get too close to the wire and get bit too.

"A bath? A BATH!? Are you crazy? It took me two months to get the look and smell just right and you want to give me a bath"? I guess that I’ll never understand Pappas and Mammas. Just when things get going real good they do something to confuse me. Now they want me to wear a chain just like Doc’s and walk right next to them. All we do is go round and round inside the barn and then stop for a while. Wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t move my feet all over the place every time we stop. I put my feet where I want them and they move them. After about the third time either they give up or I give up and then we walk some more. They talk real nice to me but I’ll bet all of this is leading up to something I’m not gonna like.

"No way am I going in there! That looks like the contraption they took Winchester and Remington away in". Ok, I’ll go in for food. Just don’t shut the door and leave me in here. I’ve got to get my appetite under control. Here I am in a moving stall with bars between Bronson and me, bouncing along the road with giant bridges flying overhead threatening to crash down on me at any time. Charise and some of the other does are in a section on the other side of Bronson. I haven’t seen Mammas or Pappas since they closed the door behind me after they suckered me in here with that food. At last! Pappas is letting me out! I don’t think I like it here. I can smell Bronson in the next stall and the does are somewhere close but I can’t see any of them. Mammas and Pappas bring me food and water and the bedding is almost like I have at home so it’s gonna be ok. "No Way! Absolutely Not! I will not be given another bath". One of the strange bucks in the next stall told me that this is what is called a show. If this is what it means to be a show goat then I want nothing to do with it. Being dragged around all over the country; having to drink strange water; sleeping in a strange stall with who-knows-what class of goats living around me. Oh, food! It ain’t so bad, after all. Whad’ya mean "fifth place"! I’ll show you fifth place! You wouldn’t a placed me so low if I was one of Doc’s kids - You gave Charise Reserve Grand Champion. Look at me. Just look at me! I’m the finest specimen of goat-flesh you ever set your eyes on and you put me in fifth place? I wonder if Mammas and Pappas agree with the judge. Well, at least Charise won.

Now, this in new. This is the third time today that Pappas has taken me out to the fence by some does I’ve never seen before. "Hello-o-o, Girls"! Pappas is keeping me on the wrong side of the fence but I can see them and they can see magnificent me. Wonder why they aren’t coming over to the fence. Maybe if I give Pappas the puppy-dog look - "Pappas! Make ‘em like me, Pappas". I don’t like this game - go look at girls, go back to the pen, go look at girls, go back to the pen. Pappas gives me food every time I go back to the pen so I guess it’s ok. I don’t care what Doc said: I am NOT a teaser for HIS does! I know that Pappas wouldn’t keep taking me out to the does and now that they’re ready let Doc go see them. He wouldn’t do that, would he? OK! They’re ready!  "Le’mme at ‘im! Wait! Don’t take me back to my stall"! Pappas just took Doc out with his chain and rope. Wonder where they’re going.

Mammas has a chain around my neck and is pulling me out of the pen with a rope. Hope I don’t touch one of those wires on the side as we go through the gate. I’d really hate to hurt Mammas but if that wire bites me again I’ll panic. Whew! Made it. Where is she taking me? Oh, there’s some does I’ve never met before! Mammas is taking me to see them!  "Hurry, Mammas, Hurry! Can’t you run any faster than that!" Mammas is letting me into the pen with the does! ALL Right! Who needs food!

(Senjin has just been introduced to lesson #2; "The one who writes the breeding schedule is a boss").