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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
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M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NO…
ZAPPED!

THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmboers.com
Ravenswood, WV

That’s a rather long name for a sweet barn kitty, but that is what she is, a tarp annihilator. No tarp can withstand her long. Her alias is Kitty Tigger, but don’t be fooled by that sweet sounding name. She is death on tarps. Just like Agent 007, she always has a hidden agenda, but with her it usually deals with our tarps.

You wonder why tarps are so important on our goat farm. Next to duct tape, we find them extremely helpful and are always looking for sales to buy more. They can cover farm equipment, especially if you have used up all your out buildings for goat sheds.

Tarps can cover a mound of round bales that are stacked outside. Remember to only come half way down the mound because if you make it all the way to the ground and there is no air flow, the whole mound of hay will mold. Tie those handy tarps with hay string and attach to the pallets you have the round bales sitting on to prevent moisture ruining the bottoms. Don’t forget about the winds that might rip your tarps off. Tie string to two bricks, one at each end of the string, and sling a brick over the mound so the string and the weight of the bricks will help hold the tarp down. Do this in several places and be careful when throwing the string attached brick to the other side of the hay mound. Don’t want to konk someone on the head that might be standing on the other side.

When we sit round bales out in the fields for the goats to eat, we will put that bale on a pallet, wrap a cattle panel around it to keep the goats from climbing on the bale, and then attach a small tarp to the top, tying it to the cattle panel. This protects the bale from rain and snow and it doesn’t get ruined until the goats totally eat it.

Lee also got into making hoop shelters with either small pipe or plastic pipe and attaching tarps to the top and putting a round bale on a pallet underneath. This provided protection from weather for both the goats and the round bale of hay.

Kitty Tigger, known as Tarp Annihilator, thought all of these ideas were simply wonderful. Originally she had been know around the farm as the Rafter Cat until she discovered her love of tarps. As Rafter Cat, somehow she would always make it up into the rafters of the barn or run-in sheds. Absolutely impossible places, she would find a way to get up in the rafters to hunt for mice, rats, birds. She would have put rock climbers to shame in finding so many ways to get into rafters.

And, did she ever fall? Yes. You would be innocently walking along in the barn and have a cat drop from above right on top of you or at your feet, and most the time she did not land on her feet. She pretty much had the horses and the goats spooked, not knowing when a small gray cat would suddenly drop like a rock from the sky on or near them.

That is, until she discovered tarps. That was the end of Rafter Cat. If a hooped structure made up of rounded pipe with tarp on top to protect goats and their round bale was placed against the opening to a run-in shed, she would somehow skirt across the rafters of that building and end up on top of the tarp roof.

She loved that. She could walk all over the tarp roof, roll around on it, claw it, sun herself, lay in wait for birds, just have a wonderful time. What she didn’t know was that once a tarp had made it through the winter and part way through the summer, it was starting to deteriorate, at least enough to not be able to support a 12-15 pound little cat.

I came out one day and saw a round shredded hole in one of the hoop roofs, like a meteorite the size of a bowling ball had fallen through, and I knew exactly what had happened. Once again Tigger, the Tarp Annihilator, had dropped like a rock, only this time through the tarp roof.

We didn’t have time to take all the tarp down just then, so we threw a smaller tarp over that roof, to cover the hole and tied it in place. The next day I was walking along, almost under that tarp, and something slapped me on top the head. There was Tigger, having discovered a wonderful two layered tarp. She was in between the two layers, rolling around, playing, and trying to swat any humans on the head as they walked by. To her, life was very good.

Another favorite place for her is the hoop over a round bale near a tall wood fence. Think of the James Bond theme song, and then see this little stripped gray cat stealthily running along the top of that tall wooden fence, and then leaping on top the tarp of that hooped covering for round bale and goats.

Then see goats tearing out from under there in absolute terror from the sounds of her hitting the tarp roof, and if she is as clumsy as she usually is, sliding down off that tarp roof, digging her claws in, trying to save herself, making a tremendous racket until she drops. Sometimes she makes it without sliding off, and then just runs and bounces along the top of the tarped hoof.

So, it’s not unusual to see goats standing around in a semi-circle, studying that tarped roof to see if the monster has returned to scare them within an inch of their lives.

Yes, we find tarps extremely helpful in goat farming. Now, if only the Tarp Annihilator, alias Kitty Tigger, would just leave them alone to last a month or two.

THE END

 

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