Bucks have an ego problem. They think they are the hottest thing going. They walk and prance around, strutting their stuff, hollering and whooping and telling the whole world that nothing is better than them. Look at me, man, they holler. Then the next instant they dare you with, “You looking at me? You looking at me?” You can’t win. From the youngest to the oldest buck, they are one big ego. They know no one is better than they are.

On this farm there is one buck with the biggest ego ever. No one in the past, no one in the future is going to have an ego like our Gideon. He is constantly embarrassing me when guests and customers drop by. He is such a show-off. Being a very modest person myself, never bragging on all my great and fantastic skills and super gifts of personality, it’s really hard on me to own such a show-off.

Plus, I think he has learned the English language. He knows what you are saying. It never fails when someone buys one of his daughters or sons, they want to see the father. So, out we march to look at the father. I’ve learned a long time ago to never let people in to visit our breeding bucks. True, bucks can be aggressive, but a lot of people don’t have a lick of sense how to treat a buck. They will invariably want to scratch between their horns, around their heads, or try to play with them. If that buck wasn’t overbearing and aggressive before they came in to see him, he certainly will be after they leave. Because a scratching and pushing on the head leads to hard rubbing by the buck, next to shoving by the buck, and next he wants to whoop you. So, people wanting to see any of our breeding bucks, get to stand outside the fence and look in.

But, I digress. So, out we’ll walk to look at Gideon, the father of the goat they have just bought or might buy, and if Gideon has noticed we have customers on the place, he will have posed himself up on the hill or behind his run-in in shed. Two favorite places he likes to use as a set up to wow any new people. He knows how to make an entrance.

He waits for his cue. “Gideon!” And, if he is up on the hill, usually he is standing sideways and he is looking off into the distance, in deep thought, standing with one front foot way out in front of the other, stretching his length as much as he can, and you’d swear he was actually flexing his rear to show off the muscling.

Upon hearing his name, he regally turns his head to look down at the new people, remember he’s upon the hill for this performance. Then he turns slowly, and strides towards us. You’d swear again that he was flexing and puffing out his chest as he walks towards you. I can’t help but think, what a ham. You’d think he was a model on a walkway.

Then he stops in front of the fence, but not too close so that the fence doesn’t get in the way of your view of him. He stands there showing off that chest, that muscular, neck, that regal head.

And, he waits for his next cue. I say, “You should see his rear. He has a lot of meat in those hindquarters.” Then he slowly and majestically turns around so his rump is facing his audience. He tightens that tail even tighter over his back. You get the full view if that rear. Next, he turns his head to look at you admiring his rump. It’s almost like he is saying, “That’s right. That’s right. I’m hot. You can’t touch that.” Then he flexes his rump muscles, sashays off, turns, to show the side view again, and then casually walks off. His performance is over, you may now leave.

On the other hand, having one primadona buck and a couple more with almost as big an ego, we then come to Esau. Good ol’ red Esau. He knows no poses. Just about the only way to have him pose for people would be to shoot him, stuff him, and then pose him. He hasn’t a clue how to pose, like the very egotistical Gideon does.

If he would simply walk past, just walk on down the fence, that’s all he’d need to do. Then people would see his muscling, lovely head, the shiny shimmering of that red coat as the sunlight dances across that sheen. But, no, not our Esau. Bring a stranger to see him and he either disappears into his run-in shed until he is chased out, and then he goes into what he considers are good poses.

First, is the pose of what a deer would look like caught in high beams, a terrified frantic look of just knowing you need to take flight to survive, but where? Caught with strangers looking at him, he’ll immediately face them, very bug eyed. His second pose is to squinch his shoulders together so tight to make his chest disappear. Next pose is to stand with one front foot in front of the other, almost on top the other foot, thus narrowing his chest as much as possible even more. Fourth pose is to hunker his back feet close and forwards underneath, thus pushing his belly out so you think he has two basketballs, one hanging on each side, and then top that off with an even more frantic look because people are staring at him. Well! Forget wowing anyone with this buck. He does not have the knack of posing the way Gideon has. You just hurry past Esau and show off his kids, they reflect well for their daddy.

So, in Gideon’s mind, nothing can touch him. He just knows he outshines every buck, every goat in the whole world. Esau doesn’t give a fig. Both have attitudes of Can’t Touch This, but for Gideon it’s his firm belief that he is a great and glorious beauty, for Esau, take that saying literally. Can’t touch this. A stranger better not touch him, he’s gone like a flash. His ego is for totally wowing the does. Gideon’s is for wooing the entire world. Can’t touch this.