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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!

ALL YOU NEED IS Ö.. CARDBOARD
by
Connie S. Reynolds
autumnfarmboers.com
Ravenswood, WV

Many years ago the Beatles wrote that all you need is love. Well, they hadnít been to our farm during kidding time. You need cardboard, too. And, probably a good personality survey would help. What on earth am I talking about? Iím talking about the goats, of course. Lee and I have way too much work to do to get grumpy with each other. Why, if the other one got hurt feelings about something and stomped off, it would leave entirely too much work for the one remaining person standing there to do. So, we really treat each other very kindly. It's those contrary pregnant goats that we put in kidding stalls that do all the fussing and feuding and need the personality surveys and cardboard.

Using kidding stalls can be a blessing and a curse. On the one hand goats are social animals. They like seeing each other. They are comforted in seeing each other, so we use metal T posts and hog panels to put our kidding stalls together so the goats can see each other. Sometimes if we can find the panels with the two inch by two inch squares that are affordable, weíll use those.

On the other hand, goats can get really cantankerous with each other. They want to growl and butt heads, but yet they donít want to be apart. Go figure. So, in putting your pregnant does in to kid, side by side in these kidding stalls, you have to figure out who is going to get along with whom. Who is going to make a good neighbor. If you donít figure out the personalities of each goat right, you get a lot of noise. Goats butting the panels, trying to head butt each other, making considerable racket and disharmony among the whole kidding community in the barn.

A lot of times we decide who will get along well as neighbors, such as sisters, or fellow bottle babies, or mother and daughters, or putting gentle nonrelated goat folk side by side and we get it all wrong. So, we rearrange everyone and wait to see what kind of ruckus that creates. And, sometimes you just never get it right and thatís when that wonderful invention cardboard comes into use.

You say, why not just put up plywood. Remember, the goats are happier if they can see each other. And, do you know how much plywood costs now a days?! This is where that wonderful cardboard can be used.

You may raise your eyebrows and go, ďWonít they just shred cardboard?Ē Ahhhh, listen and learn, little grasshopper, not always so. You only use the best cardboard. You beg the cardboard boxes from all your friends that actually buy new appliances, such as refrigerators, stoves, or new furniture. Wonderfully made, sturdy cardboard boxes. Oh, Iím sure whatever new stuff they bought is wonderfully, made too, but itís the cardboard boxes that are fantastic.

Then, when you get fighting does together, side by side, in a kidding stall, cut that cardboard to fit and tie it up on the hog panels so they canít see each other, except over top or through little cracks.

For some odd reason, after they have done battle through the hog panel wires and have decided they hate each other, they donít mind a bit not able to see that goat they hate. You say again, wonít they just shred that cardboard? Oddly enough, our group of fighting does are so happy to not see their new sworn enemy, they leave the cardboard along. Peace reigns supreme when the cardboard is put up.

We even use cardboard inside the barn to block drafts. We have put it on barn walls, screwed up with screws that will go into our oak boards and can be unscrewed when time to take the cardboard down. Sometimes we do have a kid or two who will try to chew the cardboard or strip it, but itís so sturdy, they never fully destroy it. Mainly the kids like to take running goes and bounce off the cardboard walls, leaving little dirty hoof prints all over it.

How do you know when itís time to hang a piece of cardboard? Usually itís when the big pregnant does are standing in their separate pens constantly thumping the panels to try and kill each other. Itís even worse when the kids come, because they think they have to protect their kids from the hated neighbor or from the hated neighborís kids. Sometimes they run right through their own kid to try and thump the panel and get to the neighborís kid. Not good.

Even if they just silently stand there, head to head, glaring at each other, it is time for the cardboard. We even put up a piece of cardboard when one girl would lay her head against the wire, threatening another doe, not pounding the wire, just laying her head against it, and the other doe just calmly stood there and pulled out all the hair she could on her neighborís head, who still would not budge, by the way. Time for cardboard between the bald goat and the mouth full of hair goat.

We did have one doe who hated her neighbor so bad that she chewed a little hole out of the cardboard, about eye level, so she could peek through and issue dire threats, but they never butted the wire again with the cardboard on it.

So, I guess use the cardboard when they canít stand the sight of their neighbor, but still they know a fellow goat is there and that makes them happy. Particularly when they donít have to look at that hated goat who drives them crazy, yet they still demand company because they hate isolation worse. Goats are wonderfully complex animals. Keep plenty of cardboard on hand.

THE END

 

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