Current
Visitors
8
COVER PAGE
PREVIOUS
DISPLAY
 Related Articles
12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NO…
ZAPPED!
Outlaw Boers
Krista Darnell
Childress, Texas

Just One More Goat
by
Krista Darnell

"I want one purebred doe before fall. That's my goal," I announced to my roommate as she tried to concentrate on the chat room she was in. "One good one, because at these prices I can't afford more than one good one a year," I went on, oblivious to the fact that she was rolling her eyes in disbelief at my claim. A breeder had sent me her sales list, complete with pics, and the doe I'd selected cost more than my Suburban. Granted it's a 22 year old Suburban, but anyway. "What do you think of her?" I nagged, waving the brochure around my unresponsive roommate's head. Finally she caved in to my incessant harping, and turned around to face me. "One more goat, is that it?" she glared skeptically. "How many times have I heard THAT one before?" I slunk back to my chair. "This time it's different," I mumbled. "These are purebreds, I can't very well just come home with more than I'd planned on buying." "I have no doubt you'll find a way," she snorted derisively, and turned back to her computer.

I confess, I've got a flawless track record of going off to buy one goat, and coming home with considerably more than one. After buying the farm, I'd convinced her that a little goat would help keep the weeds down around the barn. I didn't mention my ulterior motive to begin breeding Boer goats, starting with percentages, nor did it occur to her that one little goat couldn't possibly keep the weeds down on 20 acres. All she knew was that one morning I went off to get a goat, and one afternoon I came home with four goats, two of which were quite pregnant. Her confusion was evident when I dropped the tailgate on the Suburban, and like circus clowns pouring out of a VW Bug, goats just kept hopping out of the back. "I thought you were just going to get one," she stammered as one of the new goats nibbled on her shorts. I tried to convince her that four would do a much better job of clearing the weeds out, and that we'd have babies in no time, which would be lots and lots of fun, but I could see it wasn't registering with her. She just couldn't see how one could equal four, although she could see how one of the four was about to equal three, and another one was going to equal two, for a total of nine. I tried to tell her it was new math, but she wasn't buying it.

Months later, I went on another trip to pick up "one goat", and to be sure I didn't screw it up this time, my roommate came along for the ride. From a sea of several hundred, I quickly spied the one I wanted..... and another I felt sorry for. On the way out, I saw a Kiko I simply had to have, and as we loaded the one-turned-three into the Suburban, an aged Saanen came up and insisted I bring her home as well. My roommate swears that goat didn't say a thing, but I heard her quite clearly. Amid squeals of protest, I paid the man and scurried home with my new goats. I figured my roomie would settle down after a few days, but I wasn't counting on one of the new goats dropping twins that evening, and a second one delivered quads a few hours later. "Someone please tell me how one goat can turn into ten goats overnight," she sighed in defeat as she stared at the six newborns cavorting about the garage-turned-nursery. I had no insight to offer her, and besides, I was busy looking through the classifieds for goats for sale.

It should come as no surprise that she viewed my latest announcement to purchase a single purebred Boer doe that year with skepticism, but I really did intend to purchase just one. After all, how could I afford more than that? The farmhouse lacked a number of features, such as air conditioning, more than one working sink, and in a few rooms, glass in the windows. The thought of my spending thousands of dollars on more mouths to feed when the house needed so much work was just preposterous. One Texas summer spent with no a/c was enough, and I had no intentions of doing it again. Nope, one doe and that was it. After that, all the money went into the farm. So determined to stick by my claim was I, that I didn't give any of the other does a second look when I went to pick up my new girl. I didn't peek at a one while we loaded her up. It wasn't until the tailgate was closed and the breeder said, "Would you be interested in this doe I have that's about to deliver?" that I began to lose my resolve. When she threw in that I could pay her later, you could almost hear my willpower crumble and hit the dirt. When I got home with not one, but two goats, you could definately hear my roommate's hand as it thwacked me upside the head. "What is the matter with you?" she shrieked as the two stared at her over the tailgate. "What happened to ONE more goat?" I concentrated on interesting patterns in the dirt at my feet as she carried on in disgust. "Have you noticed that there are HOLES in the exterior walls of this place?" She tried to make me see that spending money on new siding and insulation was good, and spending it on more goats was bad, but it was futile. Eventually she gave up trying to reason with me and went back inside.

Common sense not being my strong point, I barely waited a week before checking out a breeder friend's sales list on his web site. Upon seeing a particular doe's price tag had dropped considerably, my common sense vanished all together. A few quick emails and a deposit in the mail later, I had another goat on the way. "She's bred out the butt," I offered feebly as my roommate just stared at the naked subfloor in the kitchen. "I couldn't pass up a deal like that," I continued, trying hard not to see the drywall crumbling down from the ceiling. As she stared in silence, I allowed myself to believe she was going to take it in stride. Apparently it was the calm before the storm. Her eyes narrowed to slits as she took a step towards me. "I have PLYWOOD for windows in my room," she screeched, veins bulging in her forehead. "I have to brush my teeth in the kitchen sink because there IS no bathroom sink, and you want another *$(# goat?" I slunk back against the wall as she advanced on me. "One more goat, that's what you always say, and then you come home with half a dozen!" As she continued foaming at the mouth, it occured to me why so many men were terrified of getting married. I suspect the result is similar when they come home with a new drill. "We're never going to get this place restored if you keep buying goats," she snarled as she stomped off to brush her teeth in the kitchen sink. I knew she was right, so I swore to myself that this was the LAST one for the year. The fact that it was only May didn't matter, because this was the LAST one I was going to buy. Yep, last one. After that, all my money went to local contractors and home improvement stores. All the way to pick up the last new goat, I reminded myself that this was the last one until the next year. I didn't stop reminding myself of it until I pulled out of his drive, at which point I wondered if I could get all of the guns in the house hidden before she got a look in the Suburban.

She didn't say much when I came home and unloaded four new goats, just stared unblinking for a few moments, and then retreated to the safety of her goat free room clutching the Roommates Wanted section of the classifieds. In less than a year, I'd gone from one-equals-four goats to close to thirty, and now that everyone was having babies, the number was expanding at an alarming rate. She knew an addiction when she saw it. That's good too, because my friend just emailed me to see if I wanted three more he was about to sell.

 

DISCLAIMER

GoatGateway.com and it's agents and sponsors are not responsible for the content of advertisers' sites or advertised claims.

GoatGateway.com does not act as an agent for buyers or sellers. GoatGateway.com does not in any way influence or control transactions for goods or services between buyers and sellers.

USE

Information on this web site is offered by persons who are NOT veterinary professionals except where noted.
The information contained on this web site is based on the knowledge and understanding of the author at the time of first publication. However, because of advances in agriculture related fields, users are reminded of their personal responsibility to ensure that information upon which they rely is up to date and to CHECK accuracy and currency of the information WITH YOUR VETERINARIAN for specific health and nutrition advice.

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL
Users of medical and chemical products must always read the label and strictly comply with directions on the label. Users are not absolved from compliance with the directions on the label by reason of any statement made, or omitted to be made, on this web site.

TRADEMARKS

The boergoats.com logo is a registered trademark of KLS Boer Goats.
The following are trademarks or service marks of KLS Boer Goats.

OnLine Show
GoatGateway
BoerGoats.com
MeatGoats.com
GoatClassifieds
ShowMeatGoats
ShowWethers.net
BoerGoat101.com
GoatBreeders.com
BoerGoats.comCHAT
The Show Wether Center
Where The Bucks Meet The Bucks
The Boer & Meat Goat Information Center