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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
BOXING SUNBEAMS

Sometimes, when you are really tired or stressed, isnít it funny how a goat will make you laugh? Oh, itís not because you are so tired that you have become slap happy, though sometimes thatís it too. Itís just that a goat can have such an innocence and joy, living for the moment, that can make your long forgotten belly laugh happen before you know it.

Take for instance this four day old bottle baby Iím feeding now. Sheís in the house in her Rubber Maid tub and she has learned about the bottle and who usually brings it to her. I walked by her tub the other day and she jumped up from her nap, that little tail wagging like a puppy dogís tail.

She must have seen that happily wagging tail out of the corner of her eye because she jumped and quickly turned her head to stare at her tail. Naturally her tail had quit wagging when the focus was off me and a possible bottle, so she turned back to look at me. Of course, that made the tail start wagging happily again.

She jerked her head around again to stare at her odd acting tail. You could almost hear her say, ďWhat on earth?!Ē She once again put her focus back on me and finally accepted the fact that her little tail was going to wag faster than any puppy dogís at the sight of me and a possible bottle.

A couple of weeks ago I had three newborns in that tub. The youngest was only a few hours old. I walked over to look out the window and passed close to their tub. The youngest one dropped like a rock to her belly and froze. Seeing me suddenly loom over their tub, she assumed a big eagle was on itís way. Now thatís a survivor. The other two were just sort of stumbling around but she had decided in a split second that no stinking eagle was going to eat her. Snatch those other two that didnít have any sense and were still standing with a dangerous shadow overhead, was her thought. She got dubbed the name, Spooky Beauty.

Something that can really stress this goat farmer is when the electric goes out. Weíve had go many artic blasts coming in and so many wind events that I just keep the candles handy everywhere in the house any more. Also our top loading washer is kept full of water for just in case. When the electric goes, the pump to our well goes and we have no extra water anywhere.

Our old generator will run the refrigerator and freezer when needed, but itís not strong enough to run the pump. Sometimes Lee canít sweet talk the old generator into working at all. The first time this winter the electric went out, we ran to town and rented a generator because the old one absolutely refused to start, no matter how much Lee worked on it. As soon as we got home and got the rented generator going, Lee casually walked over to the old one and pulled the cord and it started. Good grief. I guess it got jealous because we brought a newer and a better one home and it couldnít take it.

When the electric goes out and you have a barn full of girls with their kids in stalls, it gets really dark. Usually we have lights on so they donít have to stand in the dark. An animal can go bonkers, like a person, if you make them stay in the dark for long periods of time. The first time the electric went out, it was night. The goats just quietly bedded down in the sudden darkness.

The electric tried to come back on several times that night and we have baby monitors in the barn to keep tabs on any problems we need to check on. Naturally the monitors were off with the electric off, but every time the electric suddenly came on and the lights we keep on in the barn came on, it surprised the dickens out of those goats. The most gosh awful bellerings you ever heard because it had scared them, the lights suddenly coming on. It wasnít a yell to be fed, it was a yell of someone fast asleep and suddenly awakened. We turned the lights off after the second time the electric tried to come back on.

Another time when the electric went off it was late afternoon. The barn was dark on the inside, but through a few cracks the sunshine could get in, making beautiful sunbeams, like mini spot lights shining in places in the barn. One of those sunbeam areas held several weaned kids. I walked by and saw one kid, Tina Irena, walking on her hind legs and with her front legs batting at something in the air. I thought, What is going on? Then I saw, she was chasing down sunbeams and trying to hit them with her front feet. She worked the longest time, having the most fun walking and hopping and boxing those sunbeams. She wasnít shadow boxing, she was sunbeam boxing.

A couple of unexpected belly laughs happened last night. We like to worm, give shots, and band at one month of age on our 4-H kids. Last night it was one single boyís time for all this. He was a huge single, twice as big as the other boys because he was getting all the milk. His mommy believed in feeding him good too. No one watched over a kid as closely as his momma.

Lee will pick a kid up, sit on a bucket, hold the kid in his lap, worm him, and then I give the CD/T shot. Now Hope was very concerned about her boy being in that lap and as I bent over to give the kid a shot, Hope pushed herself between my legs to see her boy better and then walked off to turn and get a better view. Unfortunately she took me with her, riding piggy back.

Always one with a drool sense of humor, Lee calmly said as I rode off, ďConnie, quit riding that goat and get back here and give this kid his shot.Ē If laughter is the best medicine, then a goat is your answer. And, may you have many sunbeams when the electric goes out.

THE END


 

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