"Yas, Mahster, I will get the grain bucket." Wait a minute. Where am I? I thought I heard a goat telling me to do something. You know, I am finally catching on. The goats have me under a type of mind control, the devious little creatures. When I wasnít noticing, they all have been training me to do their bidding. While I have been telling everyone that they are my goats, truth tell, I am really their Connie. They own me as much as I think I own them.
I do believe they can do mind control on us humans. Iím pretty sure I am at their beck and call. Just have one let out a yell and Iím there to see if they are all right. A schedule is set up for feeding, watering, checking the herd, putting out hay, setting out goat protein blocks or molasses tubs, scrubbing out water tubs, cleaning out pens and stalls, cutting down trees for them to nibble on delicious leaves, moving them from one field to another to make sure they have the best pasture, making their run-in sheds and barns comfy, sit with them when they kid, and the list goes on. They have complete control of me.
When itís time to do the feeding, I find I canít concentrate on anything else. I must get out there and feed. I canít stand it unless I am out there feeding. Iíll be so antsy that Iím not good for anything else, so you might as well let me go out and feed. While I am out there feeding I feel so relieved to be doing the feeding. It just feels so right and everything is on schedule and the goats are happy and everything is right with the world. Yes, this is what I am suppose to do is feed at this time. Thatís right. Those sneaky little dickens have done it again. Got me under mind control to do their bidding. And, you already know what happens if Iím not on time. I get antsy and canít do anything else and the goats cry and holler and moan and run back and forth. The farm experts insist that itís important to have a set schedule to keep the animals doing well. Ahhhhh, they donít realize that maybe they are under mind control too. They just havenít woke up to it yet, as I have.
Those goats are sending out mind waves and looking at you with adorable sweet little eyes and the goat experts just canít help write anything else but how to take the very best care of these wonderful creatures. Mind control, these goats have it down to an art. Of course, they have flubbed up in one area. In mind controlling all of us to take the absolute best care of them, they forgot that includes wormings, shots, hoof trimming.
Iím sure the goats are back pedaling some on their mind control now, trying to weaken that control a trifle so we might forget that they get worms, need vaccinations, and their hooves do need trimming from time to time. But, too late, their control is complete. We know now that if our goats are going to be the best they can be, they need wormings, shots, hoof trimming, and our zoned out minds are not sophisticated enough for them to delete those notions. They are working on it, trying to show us by running away if a drench gun, needle and syringe, or hoof nippers get close to them.
But, that mind control is complete, we round them up, corner them, even tackle them to give them the best care our mind control tells us to give. The goats have done their jobs too well. We dutifully and absolutely feel the need that we have to worm, give shots, and trim. We donít feel right if we donít. We get antsy and unhappy, and the world just doesnít feel right until we do these things.
This does pay off, because when we fight the mind control and donít take care of the goats, oh boy, problems galore occur. Next thing you know, the goats arenít slick, they look sickly, and diarrhea abounds. So, back to obeying the goatsí mind control over us of taking good care of them.
Which, the livestock experts say we should have been doing all along, though once again, they donít realize that they are under mind control by the goats, and they canít help but tell us goat farmers to take good care of our stock. They claim to have all this research. They are being mind controlled as much by these goats as we goat farmers. The livestock PhDís feel driven to find more and better ways to care for goats. They arenít sure what drives them, but they know they feel antsy, unhappy, and things arenít right with the world if they donít. Thatís good olí goat mind control, short and simple.
All that goat has to do is walk up to a person and looking loving and deep into their eyes and beg for a petting, and we melt. We canít resist. Soon, we are waiting on them hand and hoof. Oh, and to have a baby goat come up and act like it absolutely adores you, weíre goners for sure, trying to take the best care of those kids.
And, then thereís ÖÖ wait a minute, what time is it? Oh my gosh, you almost let me be late for evening feeding! Whereís my bucket of grain? Iíve got to make sure everyone gets fresh water. "Yas, Mahster, I am coming to the barn now. Donít worry, I will get the feed bucket and put out the hay. Lee and I can eat later after we take care of our babies and mommas." Speaking of which, donít you all feel a little tickling in your brain that you need to be at the barn? Well, get with it. Youíll feel a whole lot better when youíve done what the goats say.
What about mind control? Oh, thatís silly. What goat could do mind control on a person?
"Yas, Mahster, Iím going to the barn to get the bucket of grain now."