"Yas, Mahster, I will get the grain bucket." Wait a minute. Where am I? I thought I heard a goat telling me to do something. You know, I am finally catching on. The goats have me under a type of mind control, the devious little creatures. When I wasn’t noticing, they all have been training me to do their bidding. While I have been telling everyone that they are my goats, truth tell, I am really their Connie. They own me as much as I think I own them.

I do believe they can do mind control on us humans. I’m pretty sure I am at their beck and call. Just have one let out a yell and I’m there to see if they are all right. A schedule is set up for feeding, watering, checking the herd, putting out hay, setting out goat protein blocks or molasses tubs, scrubbing out water tubs, cleaning out pens and stalls, cutting down trees for them to nibble on delicious leaves, moving them from one field to another to make sure they have the best pasture, making their run-in sheds and barns comfy, sit with them when they kid, and the list goes on. They have complete control of me.

When it’s time to do the feeding, I find I can’t concentrate on anything else. I must get out there and feed. I can’t stand it unless I am out there feeding. I’ll be so antsy that I’m not good for anything else, so you might as well let me go out and feed. While I am out there feeding I feel so relieved to be doing the feeding. It just feels so right and everything is on schedule and the goats are happy and everything is right with the world. Yes, this is what I am suppose to do is feed at this time. That’s right. Those sneaky little dickens have done it again. Got me under mind control to do their bidding. And, you already know what happens if I’m not on time. I get antsy and can’t do anything else and the goats cry and holler and moan and run back and forth. The farm experts insist that it’s important to have a set schedule to keep the animals doing well. Ahhhhh, they don’t realize that maybe they are under mind control too. They just haven’t woke up to it yet, as I have.

Those goats are sending out mind waves and looking at you with adorable sweet little eyes and the goat experts just can’t help write anything else but how to take the very best care of these wonderful creatures. Mind control, these goats have it down to an art. Of course, they have flubbed up in one area. In mind controlling all of us to take the absolute best care of them, they forgot that includes wormings, shots, hoof trimming.

I’m sure the goats are back pedaling some on their mind control now, trying to weaken that control a trifle so we might forget that they get worms, need vaccinations, and their hooves do need trimming from time to time. But, too late, their control is complete. We know now that if our goats are going to be the best they can be, they need wormings, shots, hoof trimming, and our zoned out minds are not sophisticated enough for them to delete those notions. They are working on it, trying to show us by running away if a drench gun, needle and syringe, or hoof nippers get close to them.

But, that mind control is complete, we round them up, corner them, even tackle them to give them the best care our mind control tells us to give. The goats have done their jobs too well. We dutifully and absolutely feel the need that we have to worm, give shots, and trim. We don’t feel right if we don’t. We get antsy and unhappy, and the world just doesn’t feel right until we do these things.

This does pay off, because when we fight the mind control and don’t take care of the goats, oh boy, problems galore occur. Next thing you know, the goats aren’t slick, they look sickly, and diarrhea abounds. So, back to obeying the goats’ mind control over us of taking good care of them.

Which, the livestock experts say we should have been doing all along, though once again, they don’t realize that they are under mind control by the goats, and they can’t help but tell us goat farmers to take good care of our stock. They claim to have all this research. They are being mind controlled as much by these goats as we goat farmers. The livestock PhD’s feel driven to find more and better ways to care for goats. They aren’t sure what drives them, but they know they feel antsy, unhappy, and things aren’t right with the world if they don’t. That’s good ol’ goat mind control, short and simple.

All that goat has to do is walk up to a person and looking loving and deep into their eyes and beg for a petting, and we melt. We can’t resist. Soon, we are waiting on them hand and hoof. Oh, and to have a baby goat come up and act like it absolutely adores you, we’re goners for sure, trying to take the best care of those kids.

And, then there’s …… wait a minute, what time is it? Oh my gosh, you almost let me be late for evening feeding! Where’s my bucket of grain? I’ve got to make sure everyone gets fresh water. "Yas, Mahster, I am coming to the barn now. Don’t worry, I will get the feed bucket and put out the hay. Lee and I can eat later after we take care of our babies and mommas." Speaking of which, don’t you all feel a little tickling in your brain that you need to be at the barn? Well, get with it. You’ll feel a whole lot better when you’ve done what the goats say.

What about mind control? Oh, that’s silly. What goat could do mind control on a person?

"Yas, Mahster, I’m going to the barn to get the bucket of grain now."