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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DELOUSED
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT



Ruminants have such a contented look while they are chewing their cuds. It almost makes you wish you could regurgitate a past meal and re-chew it, enjoying its savor and texture all over again. Okay, I think I just made myself sick, but goats do have a very contented and happy look when they are chewing their cuds.

They never look frantic having to re-do a meal. They are at peace and either stand or lie there as they chew their cud. Cud chewing is happiness to them and it reminds me of my ex-bottle kids and their signs of contentment and absolute happiness.

If youíve ever watched a bottle kid suck on his bottle, that little tail is wagging faster than any puppy dogís tail can wag. They are extremely happy. They have a bottle. Life is good. And, that little tail shows it.

In an adult doe, that tail wagging means something else. By this time we are calling it flagging, but it means that doe is in heat, ready to be bred, if she is walking around wagging that tail. Of course, they are happy too, thinking they might get bred, but for that bottle kid, tail wagging means, ďOh, Boy! Bottle time!Ē And, even if you donít have a bottle, that bottle kid will run up to you and wag itís tail for all itís worth if you pet them. Happiness is being petted by the bottle holder or soon to be bottle holder. The tail canít help but wag in memory or anticipation of a bottle.

When the bottle kids gets old enough to chew a cud, say around two weeks of age, there starts a strange combination of happy actions. They will run up to you to be petted, even though itís not bottle time, hope springs eternal, and their tails will be wagging, and an added bonus occurs. If they are old enough to make a cud, they bring up a cud and chew in happiness, while you pet them. I have several nine month old girls, ex-bottle kids, who no longer wag their tails in happiness because they might get a bottle. By now that bottle is a distant but pleasant memory, but if you bend over and pet them, theyíll raise their little noses up and bring up a happy cud and stand there and chew it, all because you are there petting them. To them, they are getting the best of both worlds, a good petting plus a good cud to chew. How can life get any better?

Those older ex-bottle does all will run up to me and happily say, ďHello, hello,Ē and they all bring up a cud to chew while they stand around me, waiting for me to pet each and every one. I have to admit, itís the cutest thing ever. It makes me laugh and makes me happy too that they are so content to see me.

Seeing those cuds reminds me years ago that some goat breeders use to tell everyone that if you have a sick goat, and after you have treated it with antibiotics or whatever, you were to go and steal a cud out of a healthy goat and push it into the mouth of the sick goat. The idea on this was the cud would be full of good bacteria to help the sick one be able to digest its food properly again.

I never tried it. It seemed too intimidating a task. I chickened out and went and bought some cattle Probios, which was a probiotic that would help put the good bacteria in the rumen to help digest food, and I knew I could bravely squirt that into a goatís mouth that had been sick or on antibiotics a long time. I couldnít wrap my mind around grabbing a big healthy goat, sticking my fingers into itís mouth, trying to steal a cud. For one thing, those back teeth on a goat can crack corn, I could imagine what those teeth would do to my poor fingers.

And, wouldnít the goat get so perturbed over me being a cud stealer, that she would just swallow the cud in surprise? No chance of getting it then. Plus, have you ever had a goat get upset because you were trying to worm her and she spit her cud out on your shoe? It really has a strong odor to it. I suppose I should have scooped it up and saved it in my refrigerator for future use, and Iíve stored many strange things in my refrigerator, but I drew the line at that odor. If youíve ever had a goat belch in your face, you get a tiny idea of what that cud smells like.

But, back to contentment. A cud chewing goat is a contented goat. If you think one of your goats is fatally sick and all the sudden she brings up a cud and starts chewing it, that will put your mind at ease. No sick goat will bring up a cud to chew. And, if your bottle babies start wildly wagging their tails, then you have a bunch of happy bottle kids, hoping for a bottle. If your older ex-bottle kid suddenly belches up a cud when you have bent over to pet her, sheís not insulting you, sheís happy and content that you are there.

Iím not sure what signs humans have when they are happy and content. Eating a big bowl of ice cream or a big slice of pizza might make us all hum in happiness. You can almost hear some people purr as they eat their favorite treat or watch their favorite movie or be with their favorite person. I think for me, when something makes me laugh, such as bottle kids wagging tails and ex-bottle kids bringing up a cud because I am there, that laugh is my sign of contentment. Isnít it strange that watching a cud chewing goat can make all of us goat farmers feel contented, too? Little things can make life very good.

THE END

 

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