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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
2005 ON BOERGOATS.COM
4 H FRETTER-ER
A BUCK GROWS UP
ABGA NAT'L MEETING MOTIONS
ADAPTING
AGAIN, THE SKY IS FALLING
ALL YOU NEED IS ... CARDBOARD
AMANNAMEDJED
ANARCHY IN THE RING!
AND THEN IT GOT COLD
AND THEN IT WARMED UP TO ZERO
ANGRY GOAT FARMER
ANTIQUE GOAT FARMING
ANYTHING BUT THAT
ARE BUCKS EVER BABIES
AROMA THERAPY
ARTFUL DODGERS
ARTIC FRONT
AUTUMN BOQUET
B U B - B U B - B U B
BABY BACK EXCUSE
BABY MONITORS
BACK TO NATURE
BAIT
BARKING AT GOATS
BARN SOUR TRUCK
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BE HAPPY
BEAUTY MISTAKES
BEHAVIORS
BEHIND THE GATE
BIG 10-4 GOAT FARMER
BIKINI WEDNESDAYS
BILLBOARD GOAT FARMING
BILLIES & STICKWEEDS
BLIZZARD OF 92
BLONDE GOAT FARMER
BLONDE HUMOR
BOARD NOMINATION EDITORIAL
BOER GOATS IN DISGUISE
BOERGOATS.COM IS NOT THE ABGA
BOTTLE BABIES
BOTTLE BABY TALK
BOTTLE BABY WITHDRAWAL
BOXING SUNBEAMS
BRACING SHOW GOATS
BREED STANDARD COMPARISONS
BREED STANDARDS
BRONCHITIS.
BRUISE OR DIRT
BUCK LOVE
BUCKETHEAD
BUCKS IN STOCK
BUY SOMETHING!
BUYING YOUR FIRST STOCK
CALLING YOOOOU
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CANE I DO IT?
CARPAL TUNNEL HAY
CATCHING PEARL
CHICK CHICK CHICORY
CHOCOLATE PLUM
CHRISTMAS KIDDING
CHUCK
COLD GOATS AND WASTED HAY
COLD IS OUR FRIEND NOT
COLORED GOATS - CON
COLORED GOATS - PRO
COMMENTARY: TO HELL WITH AGRICULTURE
COUGH DROP WORMER
COUNTING
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN
CRUMPLED
CUD CHEWING CONTENTMENT
DAYCATIONS
DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
DEHORNING - NO
DEHORNING - YES
DELOUSED
DO I DETECT A PATTERN HERE?
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW ...
DOES ON KIDDING
DOMAIN REGISTRATION RENEWAL SCAMS!
DOWNSIZING
DRAMA QUEEN
DRENCHED!
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
DUCT TAPE.
DUMPSTER RAIDERS
EARPUGS
EGG SHELL MASSACRE
EMMITT
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
ENNOBLEMENT CRITERIA EDITORIAL
EQUIPMENT OPERATORS - DANCERS
ESCAPE ARTIST
ESCORT SERVICE
ETHICS 101
EVERYBODY'S HAPPY
FALLING SKY
FARM WALK
FARMER C S I
FEEL LIKE A NUT
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR SOCK
FLOATING MUSHROOMS
FMD - LET'S THINK AHEAD
FORKS IN THE ROAD
FULL OF BULL
FULL SOUTH AFRICAN GOATS
G G
GATE ATTACK !!!!
GIRL WATCHER
GLIDING
GLOBAL SUPPORT CENTER
GNAWED AND BASICALLY CHEWED
GOAT ADDICTION
GOAT CELEBRATIONS
GOAT FARMER SONG
GOAT FARMER WEIGHT TRAINING
GOAT FARMER'S CREED
GOAT FARMING CAMP
GOAT HOLIDAY GIFTS
GOAT HUNTING
GOAT KLEENEX
GOAT LANGUAGE
GOAT OLYMPICS
GOAT PROFILER
GOAT SCIENTIST
GOAT WHEELS
GOAT WRITER
GOATS RULE
GOOD GRIEF
GOT RUNS?
GOTTA WORK KIDS
GRAND CANYON OF CHILDRESS
GREAT KIDDERS
HAULING GOATS
HAVE MILK WILL TRAVEL
HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
HAY MONITOR
HE-BE-GEE-BE'S
HELP! HELP! HELP!
HELP! I'M IN THE BATHTUB
HELPING HOOVES
HERD OF TURTLES
HERE COMES KIDDING TIME - A CHRISTMAS TUNE
HOBBLE, HOBBLE
HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (A GROANER)
HOME DECORATOR
HORNLESS
HOT CHOCOLATE
HOW TO BUY GOATS
HOW YOU FEELING?
HUGS
HUNDERD YEARS
HUNTING LUMBERJACKS
I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
I FEEL PRETTY
I PREFER LONG EYE LASHES
I REALLY DO HAVE A HOME
I'LL HOLD HIM BACK
I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
I'M STILL HERE?
INDIAN SUMMER
INNOCENT 1ST TIME KIDDERS
INTERNET AUCTIONS
INVESTMENTS
IRON WILL
IT TOOK TWO
JINGLE BELL GOATS
JOKE - GET A JOB!
JOYFUL
JUDGES - RETRACTION
JUMPY LITTLE SNOWBIRD
JUST 1 MORE GOAT
JUST THE FACTS PLEASE
KEYSTONE KOPS
KID CATCHING
KID IN A BOX
KID SENSORY OVERLOAD
KIDMARES
KNUCKLE SANDWICHES
LADYLIKE BUCK SELLER
LAST BUCK STANDING
LEFT OVERS
LETTERS
LETTERS FROM THE FARM
LIVESTOCK IDENTIFICATION SYSTEM IS BROKEN
M. D. GOAT
MAD AGGIE
MANIPULATE WHAT?
MASTER BLASTER
MAYBE THIS TIME
MEMBER ME
MIND CONTROL
MR. SNUFFY
MUSHROOM HUNTING
MUTTER MUTTER
NAMING GOATS
NANNY BERRIES ~ DEAR FAVORITE RELATIVE
NEW "KID" ... SHOWING
NEW DOMAIN NAME SCAM
NEW HAY IN THE HOUSE
NEW KIDS.
NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS
NORMAL
OCTOBER KIDDING
ODE TO ODOR
OH, MY
ON LINE HOLIDAY SHOPPING SCAMS
OUCH
PANIC ATTACK!
PASS THE GOAT, PLEASE
PAW PAWS
PHILOSOPHY OF HYPOCRISY
PHONE CALLS
PHONE CLASS
PICK POCKETS
PIRANHA PEN
PLAYING DEAD
PLEASED AS PUNCH
PLEASING GOAT CUSTOMERS
PLOP
POOF POOF
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
PREDICTABLE TERRORISM
PREMISIS IDENTIFICATION - AGAIN
PRESENTS
PRISCILLA THE HUN
PRO WRESTLER OR PUPPY
PROFESSIONAL POO CHECKER
PSYCH ME OUT
PURPLE GOATS!
PUTTING ON A SHOW
QUIPS & QUOTES
QUIPS-N-QUOTES II
REAP THE WILD WIND
RECORD KEEPING
REDNECK TANK TOP
REFEREE
REQUESTS
ROAD TRIP 2003
ROCK ON
ROLL'UM ROLL'UM
ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
RUB DIRT ON IT
S-T-R-E-S-S
SA JUDGES ARE BAAACCKK!
SANDWICHED
SAWDUST.
SCAM ALERT !
SCHEDULING
SCREAMING BANSHEES
SECRET AGENT
SHAGA GOOBLE SHAGA BLIP
SHANNIGANS & KID SLOBBERS
SHORT TIGHT STEPS & OTHER ODD EVENTS
SHOTS
SHOULD EVERYONE VOTE
SHOW FORMAT INEQUITIES
SHOWING
SHOWING/JUDGING
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SMART GOATS
SMUDGED
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
SNATCHED BALD
SNEAKY
SONG OF THE FROG
SOUTH AFRICAN JUDGES
SPIES, SECRET AGENTS, SPOOKS, AND OTHER GOATS
SSSNAKE
STAMPEDE!
STARGATE BOERS
STEAM-IRON SANDWICHES
STEP BY STEP
STICK IT WHERE
STOMPING ORANGE STRINGS
STUCK AGAIN
STUDENT ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS
STUPID IS...
SUNSHINE BOO BOO'S
SUPER HERO
SUPER SUCKERS
SUPPER AT SEVEN A.M.
SURVEY SAYS
SURVIVING KIDDING
SWASH - BUCKLING BUCKS
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
TALKING POCKETS
TATTOOING
THANK GOODNESS FOR MUD
THE $37.50 BUCK
THE 2003 DARWIN AWARDS
THE BOER BLOG
THE COST OF GETTING THERE
THE COWBOY WAY
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
THE DANGERS OF GUM BOOTS
THE FARM WOOKIE
THE FLYING GOATZANIES
THE FRAGRANCE OF HAY
THE GAME'S AFOOT
THE GOAT WHISPERER
THE MOB SQUAD
THE MORAL BUCK
THE NEED FOR COOPERATION
THE PET CHICKEN
THE PIED PIPER
THE PLAN
THE SCARECROW GOAT SELLER
THE SMELL OF MONEY
THE TALKING GOAT
THE TARP ANNIHILATOR
THE THINKER
THE TICK
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS
THE V WORD
THE WINDY TAX
THE WORM HAS TURNED
THEN THE KNEE DOCTOR SAID
THIS END UP
THUMP, BANG, WHOOP, AND HOLLER
THURSDAY, THURSDAY
TIE THE ROPE TO THE HAMMER
TOO MUCH FENCE
TORNADO ALLEY
TORPEDOS AND TIDAL WAVES
TOSS THE BLOCK
TOY TRUCK
TRAINING HUMANS
TRUE LOVE
TWITCHY HANKEY
UGH DAYS
UNCLE ARTHUR
UNWITTINGLY
USING CAFFEINE WISELY
WALK LIKE A TURTLE
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
WALK THIS WAY
WANNA BUY A GOAT (WINK, WINK, WINK)
WARNING - TAX SCAMS
WARNING LABLES
WAS THAT 65 OR 66?
WAS THAT CHRISTMAS?
WAS THAT THE WIND
WATER BUCKET TOAD
WAY TO THE HEART
WEANING WEANERS
WEE GOAT FARMERS
WELFARE GOATS
WHAT A DAY
WHAT DAY IS IT
WHAT IS C O D I / P C I ?
WHAT IS THIS BREED COMING TO
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
WHAT'S YOUR BOER BUCK WORTH$?$
WHATSTH THISTH
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU VEGETABLES.
WHERE'S THE BRAKES
WHOOWEE
WHY ALL THE DISPERSAL SALES?
WIDE LOADS
WILD GOAT MILKING
WINTER LIST
WITHERS, WETHERS, WHATEVER
WOE, DISPAIR...
WRONG.TURN!
YOU CALL HIM WHAT?
YOU COME HERE, NO, YOU COME HERE, NOÖ
ZAPPED!
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

Oddly enough people come to me for advice on starting a goat business. First off, people, donít come to me for advice on starting any type of business. Itís unintentional, but my motto is, if there is anything worth doing, itís worth doing the hard way. Now, do you really want to follow my lead? And, I donít borrow money for anything, but save up or recycle to get what I need. You really donít want to know my business sense and expertise. Donít forget, I think a ten year old truck is barely broke in.

People send wonderful plans for me to critique of them going to the bank and borrowing huge amounts of money to set up this fantastic operation with catch pens, holding pens, head chutes, specialized feeding areas, having everything but a timer to drop the grain down by, watering systems that can be heated in the winter, heated barns, kidding surveillance cameras, rooms in the barn for people to live in during kidding season with bathrooms, HDTV, refrigerator, microwaves so youíll be comfortable during kidding, and the plans and dreams go on. And, I keep wondering, how you going to pay this loan back? Because they havenít yet showed me a really good goat market to meet such a big loan.

Other people tell me they have ten acres and they are going to quit their job and raise goats and let the goats be their living. I ask how. They say thatís where I come in. Okay. Sorry. I told one sweet couple, donít quit your day job until you know how to raise livestock. They had never even raised a parakeet, much less the 75 head of goats they were going to go out and buy at the stock sale and to them as long as the goats were female was all that mattered. Besides, the goats were to do all the work and they were to spend zero time with them.

Now if you want to know about the care of the goat, that is something else. I may not have any business sense, but I know how to raise goats, their wants and needs, and the basic sicknesses you have to watch out for. That I know. True, they still constantly surprise me by coming up with new things that I have to learn to treat, but after years of raising goats, you finally do get an idea how to keep them healthy and going. Now, that I do know. But, please just ask one or two questions, donít expect me to write a long how to book on their care. Plenty of other people have already done that. And, please donít expect me to call back and pay for the call to give you the complete how-to on how to raise goats. That should be your quarter to spend to ask questions, not mine.

After another call the other day and several emails from people wanting my opinion of their business idea of raising goats for a living, that old Bachman-Turner Overdrive song suddenly popped into my head, ďTaking Care of Business.Ē I couldnít shake it.

Basically, this wonderful hard rock song mentions having to get up every morning because of the alarm clock and trying to make it into work by 9 a.m. that day and then having to slave to get your pay. But, it mentions, if you really get annoyed, you can become self employed and then work at nothing all day.

The rock fellows are sort of poking fun at being a musician in this song, so all of us self-employed people shouldnít get up in arms with him saying us self employed people work at nothing all day. And, basically he also said he didnít mind doing over time now, because he does nothing. Some people dream of goat farming that way.

Okay, many people think that raising goats or even going so far as making a living raising goats, believe itís going to be easier than working a job in town. Now, if you have farming in the blood or you have raised livestock before and donĎt mind the hardships, then a town job would be hard on you in terms of stress. But, if you think you can make your own hours up on your goat farm and itĎs going to be easy, think again.

In that Bachman-Turner Overdrive song, I would think I was living a depraved life if I was allowed to sleep in until 8 a.m. We are up at 5 a.m., no later than 6 a.m. to start chores. During kidding, who sleeps? You might cat nap a half hour here an hour there, but you donít get a regular sleep. Over time? Oh, my, the hours we put in on being goat farmers from daylight to dark would boggle the mind. You are on call 24-7.

The scheming and planning is never ending. You have to keep up with shots, wormings, trimming hooves, hay (whether buying or producing your own), building fence, building buildings, breeding season, kidding season, bottle feeding kids. Forget vacations, in other words. You take hour or day vacations, unless you have a friend who knows how to take care of livestock and is willing to do it a day or two.

People ask me why I donít get this or buy that in my goat business to make life easier. Well, first off, I have to have enough money to feed and also buy vet supplies for the animals, that comes first. I canít run and buy really neat extravagant things until the basic needs of the animals are met. They only make so much money and I canít squander it on really neat ideas that donít feed them. Thatís the first thing. Youíve always got to consider your goat budget and even save some in case the goats hit on hard times. Such as feed prices sky rockets, gas sky rockets, and everything else sky rockets, yet the price you get for a goat drops.

Weíre the type of goat farmers that get excited over trash day or if a store is remodeling. Thereís all sorts of neat things set out that can be turned into goat stalls or extra shelters, and when a business remodels, itĎs wonderful. Yes, I am a proud dumpster diver. So, do you really want me to set up a goat business for you? I didnít think so. Do you really think raising a large herd of goats easy business? Better start out with five to ten does and a buck for a year and see how you feel about things after that. See if you really want to add on.

So, am I telling people being a goat farmer is hard work? Yes, I am. Why do I goat farm? It makes me happy. Iíll never be rich or well off or well known. Iíd do better working at McDonaldís and life would be easier not doing chores in sub-zero temperatures. But, the beauty of producing and raising a good goat, in spite of all the hard work and long hours, just fills me with contentment. Sure, Iím tired most the time. But, yet, being a goat farmer suits me to a T. Taking care of business on a goat farm is not entirely what people may dream itís like, but itís for me. So, donít quit your day job just yet.

THE END


 

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