I have never thought about making a New Yearís resolution. It just never occurred to me. But, when I saw all those people staying up late on TV to see the new year come in and thinking of things that they wanted to change to make a new and better them. Well! Thatís perfect for a goat farmer, staying up late and trying to improve. Okay, I did notice that it was only women making New Yearís resolutions. The men never seemed to have any, except to stay up past midnight with a bunch of people on New Yearís in order to kiss a woman standing nearby, and didnĎt it seem to matter who. The only resolution they seemed to be planning was to stand next to a different woman each year on New YearĎs. So, I guess they were making resolutions after all.
Iím sure all the goat farmers made wonderful resolutions this year. I immediately made the resolution to make resolutions and the first one was to grow younger for a change. I just canít figure out how to undo that last birthday. So, I decided to move on to the next resolution, to become a more efficient goat farmer. No more stopping during chores to pet goats, hug kids, and scratch bucksí backs. It just takes up too much time. You know, things to do, places to go, work to finish.
Only problem, did you notice just how cute a baby goat is? You have to hug it when it runs up to you. And, senior buck Nico is 8 years old and thereís a spot on his back that he just canít reach and he depends on me to scratch it for him. Ah well, I guess it doesnít really take up too much time when those wonderfully friendly does come up and say hello and ask for a petting. The way I figure it, it keeps them tame and easier to handle. What could be more efficient than that? Iím sure taking all that extra time is worthwhile in a goat business. So, I changed that resolution to take even more time visiting with the goats.
Another resolution was to get more sleep during kidding season. Oh dear, that wonít work. The girls are at the mercy of the kids wanting to be born, and Iím at the mercy of both of them. Okay then, it will have to be to learn how to survive on very little to no sleep during kidding season by taking bucket naps (sitting perched on a bucket waiting for a doe to kid and snatching a little five minute nap) and drinking more diet Pepsi to get my sleep deprived eyes uncrossed, also to snack on protein bars through the kidding to get more energy. Gee, I already do all that. Okay, Iíll just do more of it. See, I already feel like I am improving myself. Resolutions are neat.
I will keep caught up on the dishes during kidding. I never had a dish washer, never wanted one, until there was kidding season. I can see the sense in them at that time. So, this year, during kidding, we will eat off paper plates. Dishes should be easy then. Also, I will keep a lot of peanut butter on hand. Weíll never be hungry during kidding if we have peanut butter. Why didnít I do New Yearís resolutions before?
I resolve to take even better care of the goats than I did last year, always strive to be number one among goat farmers in the area. No more letting a goat slip past me during worming time and have to eventually stalk them down. Itís do or die. When that desperate goat decides to take a flying leap over my head to get away from the drenching gun, I will be ready. Usually they guess wrong and forget how tall I am and the results are not good for either of us, but that goat will not get away. No worm will be safe on our place. And, sometimes it doesnít look like I am safe on my place, but never fear, I resolve to care for these goats.
No matter how cold it gets, I will be outside to care for the goats. Bundle up, is my winter motto. I will have so many clothes on that if I did fall down, I wouldnít be able to get up and will have to roll to the house. I will shop the winter sales and buy up wool socks, fleecy sweat shirts, warm gloves, woolen toboggans, anything that will make me warm in cold weather. And, I will be there, out there, in the cold, fifteen to twenty below, during white outs, blizzards, chilling winds. Well, fiddle, I do all this anyway. Well, I resolve to be crazy enough to do it again this year.
See, now resolutions arenít so hard and they do improve a goat farmer. I am resolved with my resolutions that neither wind, nor rain, nor snow, nor flu, nor dark of night will keep me from my duties. I am a goat farmer.